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Author Topic: Redneck Security System  (Read 1417 times)

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Offline Jonesy

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Redneck Security System
« on: July 11, 2007, 11:22:53 AM »
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,

I went for more shotgun shells. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-- don't know what got into them, but they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait out here on the porch.

-Cooter"
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Offline chud

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Re: Redneck Security System
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2007, 12:03:59 PM »
Funny stuff.  But I say it'd work better outside the South.  Southerners are used to seeing that. 
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Offline Steve F

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Re: Redneck Security System
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2007, 04:43:48 AM »
Do you have a Spanish version?
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Offline xtalon

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Re: Redneck Security System
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2007, 07:46:09 AM »
Excellent.  Chud's addition was just as good!   ;D

--xTalon
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Offline boatsdickson

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Re: Redneck Security System
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2007, 09:14:16 AM »
Hey #$%*o!

This Ain't your El Fukko Lando!
GO AWAY NOWO!
Or we'll mistake el youo for a large,
annoying squirrelo!

Signed: EL Angry Americanos
« Last Edit: July 17, 2007, 08:59:30 AM by boatsdickson »
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Offline Frrrrunkis

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Re: Redneck Security System
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2007, 05:21:42 PM »
Quote from: chud on July 11, 2007, 12:03:59 PM
Funny stuff.  But I say it'd work better outside the South.  Southerners are used to seeing that. 

I'd try and argue that, but it's true, we are used to seeing things like that
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Offline CrisPDuk

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Re: Redneck Security System
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2007, 10:06:23 AM »
Quote from: boatsdickson on July 12, 2007, 09:14:16 AM
Hey #$%*o!

This Ain't your El Fukko Lando!
GO AWAY NOWO!
Or we'll mistake el youo for a large,
annoying squirrelo!

Signed: Dos Americanos

 ;D ;D

Unless there's only two of you by the way, it should read Los Americanos;)
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Offline Rushoid

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Re: Redneck Security System
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2007, 12:42:06 PM »
"We call him 'El'. As in 'the'."     ;D
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