Author Topic: Male/Female use of ATMs  (Read 1414 times)

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Offline nickjtc

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Male/Female use of ATMs
« on: August 06, 2007, 04:50:15 PM »
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5.Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check-book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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Offline 333

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2007, 07:18:38 PM »
Someone has issues.
Go metric, every inch of the way!

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Offline mrbreeze

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2007, 08:02:18 PM »
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5.Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check-book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Damn Nick!!!!!!!.................Sounds like you got behind a real doozie!!!!!!!.....................(I can see this happening!!!!)
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Offline medic09

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2007, 08:50:32 PM »
Truly not my wife, but I can easily see this happening...and often at that!
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Offline 333

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2007, 06:16:25 AM »
Humorous, yes.  But if it did really happen often, you would find more women pummelled to death in ATM parking lots.
Go metric, every inch of the way!

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Offline Rushoid

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2007, 06:52:33 AM »
Anybody else ever wonder why drive-up ATMs have braille encoded buttons?  ::)
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Offline ohiocaferacer

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2007, 09:17:35 AM »
Anybody else ever wonder why drive-up ATMs have braille encoded buttons?  ::)

YEP!!!

Been asking that question for years.....never found an answer for that one!!! :o

Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2007, 09:42:38 AM »
I wondered about it my self a few times. The only answer I could think of was that the buttons are from a manufacturer who supplies them for a variety of applications so this is just a common use function. At least that's what I'm hoping. ;)
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Offline dusterdude

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2007, 11:08:41 AM »
yea,they are used at walk up machines too,one size fits all.
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2007, 11:30:10 AM »
Damn Nick!!!!!!!.................Sounds like you got behind a real doozie!!!!!!!.....................(I can see this happening!!!!)

Actually, I have never been caught behind a female who was having difficulty using an ATM. If we (males) were to be honest with ourselves then a lot of the snafu's on the list could apply to us. Except the handbag and makeup, of course.......... ::) ::)
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Offline firecracker

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2007, 11:55:49 AM »
Speak for yourself!

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2007, 12:38:13 PM »
I wondered about it my self a few times. The only answer I could think of was that the buttons are from a manufacturer who supplies them for a variety of applications so this is just a common use function. At least that's what I'm hoping. ;)

Yup.  Basically the American Disabilities Act requires it and since it's easier to produce and distribute all the machines with braille buttons instead of just the walk-up ones, the drive-up ones get them too.

Quote from the accessibility guidelines for ATMs: "4.34.5 Equipment for Persons with Vision Impairments. Instructions and all information for use shall be made accessible to and independently usable by persons with vision impairments."

Offline merc2dogs

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2007, 07:09:24 PM »
I've always wondered that myself, not to mention the nifty little headphone jacks on them, never play anything good though.

 another thing I've always wondered is why dating services always gaurentee that you'll find your perfect match, but most offer a lifetime subscription?

Ken.

Offline Steve F

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2007, 08:58:46 PM »
I wondered about it my self a few times. The only answer I could think of was that the buttons are from a manufacturer who supplies them for a variety of applications so this is just a common use function. At least that's what I'm hoping. ;)

Yup.  Basically the American Disabilities Act requires it and since it's easier to produce and distribute all the machines with braille buttons instead of just the walk-up ones, the drive-up ones get them too.

Quote from the accessibility guidelines for ATMs: "4.34.5 Equipment for Persons with Vision Impairments. Instructions and all information for use shall be made accessible to and independently usable by persons with vision impairments."
Yes, this is all well and good, but how the hell do you make a braille touchscreen?  If you're blind, you don't feel any bumps on a touch screen...WTH.

Offline nickjtc

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2007, 09:48:00 PM »
Reminds me about the joke about the blind person and the cheese grater.

They said it was the most violent book they had ever read.
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Offline DarkRider

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Re: Male/Female use of ATMs
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2007, 12:53:16 AM »
I wondered about it my self a few times. The only answer I could think of was that the buttons are from a manufacturer who supplies them for a variety of applications so this is just a common use function. At least that's what I'm hoping. ;)

Yup.  Basically the American Disabilities Act requires it and since it's easier to produce and distribute all the machines with braille buttons instead of just the walk-up ones, the drive-up ones get them too.

Quote from the accessibility guidelines for ATMs: "4.34.5 Equipment for Persons with Vision Impairments. Instructions and all information for use shall be made accessible to and independently usable by persons with vision impairments."
Yes, this is all well and good, but how the hell do you make a braille touchscreen?  If you're blind, you don't feel any bumps on a touch screen...WTH.

Thats what the headphone jacks are for
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