Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE!

[bill440cars]

        Just thought I'd give an update for those who might like to know.

        After Brenda passed away, it really threw ME for a loop and it has taken me a while to get back into taking care of the last of the deal with S & S. Supposed to meet with the lawyer to set things up for the end of this. I hate that this has gone on as long as it has. I just couldn't seem to get myself to deal with this for a spell. after I had lost Brenda. That took alot of me. My Dad is doing good. He's been very understanding about MY situation (like he says,"I know, I'VE been there!") Anyway, we've been going out and doing things, as I can. Last night, Karla and I picked him up at his apartment, to go out to eat supper, drive around and look at Christmas lights (like we ALL had done for years), get some hot chocolate at Braum's and head back home. It was a pretty cool night and we ALL enjoyed it (especially him). Trying to get ready for our Christmas meal together (Dad, Karla, Sarah & Ben {Sarah is Karla's Waiver worker & Ben is Sarah's Boyfriend & also a Waiver worker}). We did Thanksgiving over at Sarah & Ben's and will have Christmas over at our house. I'll be cooking the meal, using Brenda's recipe for the cornbread dressing. For those who are curious about MY cooking, I'd been doing most of the meals for several years (for one reason or another) You see, Brenda had had different things going on for some time (Asthma, blood sugar levels, depression problems off and on and so on) and it was just easier on her, with me kicking in and helping (at first) and after a while, things eventually shifted to where I was doing all of the cooking. Didn't bother ME to do that for her, I just kept trying to help HER find out what was going on with HER at any particular time. We Both kept thinking that we would eventually get to where SHE would have everything under control (with the Doctor visits, Tests and the Meds that she ended up taking). Now, as you all know, there will be ONE less at our table and We're just trying to get on with things, the way SHE would have wanted.

           There I go, I was just going to give an update on my Dad and the Situation AND ended up focusing on Brenda. It's really hard to not Do that.

                       Anyway, I hope you ALL have a Very Merry Christmas

                 AND FOCUS on YOUR Loved Ones (while you STILL have them)        

                                                  Bill, Karla & my Dad

[Spikeybike]

keep you head up bill ,   time heals all wounds
   
                                          -Manny

[bill440cars]

keep you head up bill ,   time heals all wounds
   
                                          -Manny

           Hey Manny.  Good to hear from you. I Am trying to keep my head up. Sometimes though, it sure seems heavy. I don't know that I'll ever completely get over this. There's times I wish I could have gone WITH her, but Karla and my Dad need me to be there for them. I appreciate Your reply on this AND support.

                       You all have a Merry Christmas, Bill

[Spikeybike]

our memories can be doorways to a past once enjoyed. They can also remind us that it's the past ,and not the present.
In times of sadness happy memories lift us up, to remind us .... who we really are , and where we came from   

the point i guess i'm tryin to make is ,  .. from my outsiders perspective , your coping well , and have nothing to apologize for.
        Enjoying fond memories at the holidays isn't living in the past.  Especially if it's all you have   

                       i can only imagine the loss of a loved one that close.
                                           

              now go tell Karla to make you and the old man some hot chocolate, kick your feet up. Then cheers to Bill

                        your old man did a fine job my friend, he should be very proud (like i know he is)

[333]

I couldn't have said it better. (Manny- how did someone 31 get as smart as you?)

[Spikeybike]

   most of that "wisdom" came at a cost Stan ... i had to grow up pretty fast

       i believe that saying goes   "Adapt and overcome"

[333]

Ya done well.

[bucky katt]

Bill, good to know that you and your family are doing good, keep your head up man, Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all.

[bill440cars]

Ya done well.

   ABSOLUTELY!!!! AND I Thank BOTH of You for YOUR support! Just got back in , from the meal out (only Karla and myself, because my Dad forgot that we were going out to eat this evening AND I didn't call him early enough, to make sure he waited for us to pick him up to go eat  ), going to look at more Christmas lights and taking Him back to his apartment. He really enjoys those trips out to see the lights too. Makes it ALL worthwhile.  

[bill440cars]

  If I didn't k now better, Id think my Dad was trying to get attention.

  This morning, when I went in to check his blood sugar AND give him his insulin, he said he wasn't doing good and when I asked what he meant, he said he stumped his big toe this morning and for me to check in the bathroom. I did and saw that there was some blood on the floor in there. He was fully dressed when I had gotten there and I asked if he'd told anyone? He said that no one had been in the room by that time. I told him that he could have told them when he went to breakfast. He claimed that he didn't go to breakfast. By that time, I had checked his blood sugar and I told him that he must have gone and he wanted to know how I would k now that? His blood sugar was about 129 and I told him THAT was how I knew. He was impressed. He said he had taken care of his big toe and it was alright, so I didn't check it out. Well, about 9:30PM, I got a call from the Assisted Living place where his apartment is. It seems that he was getting ready for bed and stumped that same toe, broken the nail half into and there was more blood and what did I want them to do, because they weren't really supposed to treat anything themselves. So, I went up there (about 20 minutes away) and it didn't look bad, so we put some ointment on it and wrapped it up with gauze and tape. He's fine, I told him that maybe he needed to wear his shoes to bed! At this point he said maybe he DID need something and apologized for me having to get out! I simply told him, that's what I do.

[bill440cars]

       Just to say that my Dad's doing well. Also, all this time, I have to explain over and over why he needs to be here for now, at least. Just a few days ago, he asked me about having a coffee pot in his apartment and it can't be, because of state regulations. And, suddenly I realized that I could get him a thermos and bring him coffee that would last for some time, plus I'd been bringing him a small loaf of Banana Nut Bread in a resealable container anyway. Now, he is pretty content and hasn't even mentioned leaving, in several days. Makes me wonder how long that will last before I have to find something else? He DOES have a pretty good liking for his coffee though. Now, maybe, I won't feel so pressured to get him out more than I can easily do it. I only wish I'd have thought of it sooner.

[bill440cars]

   Man, I sure need to figure out how to get my Dad to settle down some on this Going Home thing. I know that he needs to have SOMETHING to shoot for as a goal to focus on. Thing is I took him down to his place Saturday (yesterday, 17 Apr) and on the way down there and back, (2 hour drive each way) he must have repeated the very same thing (I sure will be glad when I can get back home and go out in my workshop and go things or go out and watch the water on the lake) many times. Sometimes he would just get finished saying that and I would tell him that we are working on it, but I had to take some time off because of Brenda passing away and I was having a hard time getting back on it. I went on to tell him that we had to schedule a meeting with the Lawyer to get things moving again and I didn't have Brenda as a backup to take care of things here while we went down there and Sometimes, I would just get all of that out and he'd go through the same thing over again. I KNOW that I AM all wound up about everything that is going on and then the thing with Berta and all and I feel like I want to just scream out that he's not going home by himself, because someone has to take care of him and I just CAN'T up and leave here, to move down there. He doesn't understand that and I know that. It just about drives me up the wall though, when he goes on like that. While we were down there in his home though, he DID say something
about wishing he could just move back down there, but wasn't sure if he could take care of himself. But then, on the way back up here, he started up again, repeated the same thing over and over, about wanting to move back down there. Thinking about talking to his doctor about it. 

[droopy]

talk to his doctor first and let him know where you stand on him going back home and have him tell your dad that he can't live by himself anymore.

[bill440cars]

talk to his doctor first and let him know where you stand on him going back home and have him tell your dad that he can't live by himself anymore.

         That's basically what I had planned to do. He just can't do it and, at this point I can't move down there. Brenda and I had planned for me to take my Dad down there for a few days, while she would take care of things here. Now that she's gone, that won't work. There is so much that I am involved with, at times, I'm not sure which end is up!

                      I've got to try to go to bed, tomorrow comes early, Bill

[bill440cars]

  BTW, I thought I'd show you all, my Dad's truck. It's a '93 Dodge Dakota 4wheel drive, std cab, 3.9 V6 and automatic trans. Not a bad looking truck, just not MY idea of a truck for me. I'd want the Club Cab or maybe even a 4dr. and I have no need for 4whl dr, normally. Ah, but that's just me.   Oh, and that Doggy rear end belongs to Cocoa. Showing her best side.

       

[bucky katt]

exactly the kind of truck i'm looking for Bill, just big enough to put my 750 in the bed.

[kirkn]

My own truck is a '97 Dakota, but with the stretch cab.  Just enough room for a few small-ish teens back there.  Same 3.9 V6 w/automatic.  It's got 165k miles and runs and rides like a champ!

It's carried a lot of different bikes in there, ranging from the '82 nekkid GoldWing, to an '85 Suzuki GS700, to '82 Honda FT500 Ascot, to two 100cc dirt bikes for off-road playin'.  Not to mention construction materials of all sorts, loads of wet sand, loads of mulch, trees, shrubs, and towing a 21' travel trailer!  Great trucks, IMHO.

Kirk

[bill440cars]

       After I got this truck up here, the transmission was replaced with a rebuilt one (the overdrive unit was shelled) and the transfer had to be rebuilt, thanks to David (exbrother)! Almost $2K for that. I don't remember how much mileage it has on it.
It still needs a heater core, gas tank drained and fuel system flushed out good, rearview mirrors (broken), seat (is broken down, causing you to sit quite low), A/C needs worked on and converted to 134A, radio is screwed up, Plastic piece below the front bumper is broken (front air dam?). Needs tires (David DID put some used WHITE LETTER tires on it) Now, my Dad would have NEVER put white letter tires on anything nor would he have put USED tires on there AND I'll BET that David used my Dad's money to pay for it and HE IS THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WEAR! My Dad hadn't seen his truck much since back around 2001 or so much less had the use of it. When my Mom passed away in Feb of 2002, my Dad told David that he wanted his truck back and, within a week or 2, he got it back to him. Then, it wasn't very long, maybe a month or 2, David had it back using it just like before. David WAS supposed to get the truck, when my Dad's time came and I was supposed to get the '05 Grand Caravan. Key word being "WAS". I would like to put a pair of bucket seats like in my minivan, in his truck. I'd rather it was a Club Cab too and so would my Dad.       

[bill440cars]

  Well ALL,  i Lost all drive on this thing with the S & S Team, after I lost Brenda last July 1st. For a while, Nothing seemed to matter. I found myself trying to move on and watching myself slide right back again. I was putting up a pretty good front to some, but others saw through me. I KNEW that I needed to get on with this thing and get it FINISHED. At any rate, I got a letter from the Lawyer (had gotten a couple, saying that he really felt for my situation and all and wanting to know if we were going to continue this or not) and THIS one stated that it had been a year and we had 12-14 days (I don't remember how many), to reply and get on with this OR the thing would be dismissed. Well, I knew that I HAD to get myself back UP and get on with this and get THEM completely OUT of his life (Like HE wants). I want it too, but it IS up to him and HE'S still wanting THEM gone. So, I Pray that we have a safe trip down there and back, because WE are heading to Little Rock Tomorrow morning, to see the Lawyer and get this thing Rolling again! So, soon as we get back, I'll update this, for those interested. Gonna be a col trip down and back, as we will be traveling in the Charger R/T and it's funny, my Dad REALLY likes this car as well and IT is Silver! He's been making all kind of noises about him really liking RED and wanting to get a RED one (Grand Caravan)for him and yet, he is REALLY liking the Look, The Ride , the acceleration, and yes even the SOUND of THIS car!      
 

[bill440cars]

   Well, we made it down to the Lawyer, got things set as to how we were gonna proceed and THEY will get One More Chance to give up my Dad's things OR we are gong BACK To COURT! AND, the Judge who was in on the 1st attempt at Guardianship and the 2ND attempt, along with the hearing, will be the SAME Judge who will get THIS ONE, IF we go back to the court room! SHE, tore into them really good before, so I was told (I didn't get to be IN there, since I was a witness for my Dad. Guess we will find out just HOW stupid they REALLY are! After this, will come the FINAL episode, "The Eviction!" 

[bill440cars]

   

   Got MY copy of the letter sent to David and Jan, by the Lawyer. I'm guessing that, IF they didn't get theirs today, should be in their hands by the first part of the week. Then we will see IF they've wised up OR if they are stubborn enough to go to court again. They will end up going against the SAM judge AND it will be for the THIRD time! I sure hope they will see the light AND give it up! BUT David never WAS too bright about admitting defeat!

[HondaLover77]

   

   Got MY copy of the letter sent to David and Jan, by the Lawyer. I'm guessing that, IF they didn't get theirs today, should be in their hands by the first part of the week. Then we will see IF they've wised up OR if they are stubborn enough to go to court again. They will end up going against the SAM judge AND it will be for the THIRD time! I sure hope they will see the light AND give it up! BUT David never WAS too bright about admitting defeat!

LOL Bill Reminds me of someone in my family, Hope they have wised up, what what i have been reading I don't think he'll smarten up much. It will have to take a cop to get them off the property. And as far as their child goes, I can't believe the way he acts,but comming from 2 parents like that  It don't suprise me. I pray one day that the kid will wise up and go a diffrent path from what thier parents tought him, but of course how a parent riases thier child has a big influance on thier action later on in life, My parents raised me right, and my aunt had spoiled her child and we always thought he was gonna be the one in our family to act like a baby and be spoiled forever, but everyone was wrong about this cousin of mine He is now married and he became a preacher and is very much not spoiled.So I pray everthing goes well and for that child to come to his senses.

[bill440cars]

       Yeah, neither one is too smart. But They have faced that Judge twice now, and each time was worse. The third TIME might just be CHARM! The letter the Lawyer sent them, suggested that since my Dad had backed off of SOME of the requests, they should try to resolve this and get on with things. Nicky is from the last marriage, HIS Mother couldn't even manage to STAY with David! I don't know if the present wife has EVER even HAD kids of her own, God help us, if she did! Towards the end of the letter the Lawyer sent them, states that an immediate response is needed and, if they decide not to end this, the Judge has already been advised that THEY will be hit with ALL Court and Lawyer fees AND reminded that their counter response from the last notice (where they claimed about $2,200 (of items and such) that they should get, would be applied to the $7,000 that was owed to my Dad (from a check that she'd written to herself). The last time we went to court, I didn't get to witness it, because I was to be a witness myself, I am told by the Lawyer and my Dad, that the judge was ALL OVER THEM on the stand. Jan even got up to leave the stand and the Judge told her to sit back down, she wasn't through with HER yet! I would LOVE to have seen THAT! We've got a pretty good Lawyer who KNOWS what he is doing!

          I guess time will tell!     

[MickeyX]

Good luck Bill and Dad. I know it will all work out for you. Keep at them. 

[bill440cars]

Good luck Bill and Dad. I know it will all work out for you. Keep at them. 

  Thanks Mickey WE do appreciate it. I am in hopes that they will NOT want to go before that Judge again. It's PAST time for this to be over! Far as I know, they don't even know that Brenda is no longer around. AND, I LOST some of my Will to fight, with HE being gone. For my Dad's sake and because of the fact that I just want to get on with our lives as best I can, I'm hoping that they will have lost their fight as well and NOT want to be in front of that JUDGE again.