Author Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE! (Read 92562 times)

bill440cars · « **Reply #200 on:** May 19, 2008, 06:37:08 PM »

Quote from: seaweb11 on May 19, 2008, 06:07:30 PM

On my last visit to my Dads, he took me down to his office and showed me where he keeps all his numerous folders of investments and life insurances etc.
He told me I'm the executor. Kind of a grim discussion for me. It's hard to think of loosing him

It was nice to see he has left the majority of his estate towards a new wing at Vancouver General Hospital. He and his late partner started a fund before James died , now over 3.5 million, and the new wing will be there for the next 100 years helping others with blood diseases. I sure as sh*t don't need or want his money. I'll just miss him huge

I really don't know who I will call with stupid electrical questions when he passes I think some times I call him with dumb questions just to talk to him.

Call your dads and tell them you love them

I understand where you are coming from seaweb. I never was comfortable about that kind of discussion. Thing is though, I'm sure wishing I'd have sat down with my Mom (when she was still alive) and my Dad and discussed some of these details. I am definitely gonna miss my Dad, when his time comes.

I miss my Mom and my Sister very much and would give anything to have had more time with them. Sad thing is, when the time comes, sometimes things are left not being said and that's not good.

bill440cars · « **Reply #201 on:** May 28, 2008, 07:43:30 AM »

Well, it seems like things are starting to head into, what might be, the last part of this ordeal with my brother. Or at least til my Dad's time comes. I've been trying to get him to get things finalized, as far as his affairs go and He is getting things ready to go to the lawyer. I know he kept having hopes of my brother "coming around". but now he is realizing that it just isn't going to happen. He's preparing to get his van back from them and I keep telling him that, if he has any trouble from them and also when he gets ready for any action that will require a confrontation, let me know and I'll be there. Dad will be 82 this July and I'm going to try to give him an early Birthday and take him to the Hot Rod Magazine Power Tour in Little Rock June 7th. Here's hoping things work out for this. I know he'd enjoy it. He (and my Granddad) are the reason I am so mechanically inclined. Only thing is, by them both being mechanics with cars and motorcycles, I got a "Double Dose" of it!

Anyway, the next couple of months could get just a little hairy so, I'm again asking (I know I don't have to ask.) to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Later on, Bill

medic09 · « **Reply #202 on:** May 28, 2008, 10:31:55 AM »

Quote from: bill440cars on May 19, 2008, 06:37:08 PM

Quote from: seaweb11 on May 19, 2008, 06:07:30 PM
On my last visit to my Dads, he took me down to his office and showed me where he keeps all his numerous folders of investments and life insurances etc.
He told me I'm the executor. Kind of a grim discussion for me. It's hard to think of loosing him

It was nice to see he has left the majority of his estate towards a new wing at Vancouver General Hospital. He and his late partner started a fund before James died , now over 3.5 million, and the new wing will be there for the next 100 years helping others with blood diseases. I sure as sh*t don't need or want his money. I'll just miss him huge

I really don't know who I will call with stupid electrical questions when he passes I think some times I call him with dumb questions just to talk to him.

Call your dads and tell them you love them

I understand where you are coming from seaweb. I never was comfortable about that kind of discussion. Thing is though, I'm sure wishing I'd have sat down with my Mom (when she was still alive) and my Dad and discussed some of these details. I am definitely gonna miss my Dad, when his time comes. I miss my Mom and my Sister very much and would give anything to have had more time with them. Sad thing is, when the time comes, sometimes things are left not being said and that's not good.

I didn't like those talks with my Dad, but I am very grateful today (7+ years since he died) that he was organized and made sure we all knew what was where. Today my mother doesn't have to worry about much financially because my Dad was smart and responsible with the money and made sure we all knew what was arranged.

I still miss being able to make those stupid 'how would you fix this' or 'would you buy this' phone calls really just to say hi. For the early years of my adulthood I didn't appreciate my Dad nearly enough. I tried to make it up to him some in the later years, and he always said I had done so; but I still have those little regrets.

As Seaweb said, call you Dad to say you love and respect him.

fuzzybutt · « **Reply #203 on:** May 28, 2008, 10:36:41 AM »

good luck Bill, i know firsthand how bad it can get with family. when my mom passed away in december of 2005, my half brothers (now former brothers) who i had always considered my brothers, really showed their true colors and their feelings towards my mom (their mother passed away in 60') my mom and dad married in 67', i came along in 68' and my mom from day one treated those #$%*s like they were her own. turns out that they never wanted my mom there, hated the fact dad married her and never really respected my mom, who was just the most generous loving person you would ever want to meet, her family (theyre all sicilian) also took my former brothers in when mom and dad married. well, the very day the inheritance checks arrived i got an email from the middle #$%* basically saying that they hated my mom for going through dads savings quickly when dad died (she had lupus, which finally killed her and no insurance) which she used for medical bills. they hated her for changing their family and resented her acting like a mother to them. to me i lost my ENTIRE family that day. i hope for your sake your brother comes around so you'll both have family in later years, sounds like it's going the way things did for me. after 2 1/2 years i still get tears in my eyes thinking about the whole screwed up situation. this is also the first time i've really told anyone outside my current family here in columbia. this board and the members really ARE my family i guess. glad to have you guys

bill440cars · « **Reply #204 on:** May 28, 2008, 12:40:41 PM »

medic & seaweb, I give my Dad a call about every couple of days to check up on him, see how he's doing and give him some time to get things off of his chest. My family didn't used to be too good at saying things like "I Love You or such as that", but time has changed that between my Dad and me.

bill440cars · « **Reply #205 on:** May 28, 2008, 01:01:39 PM »

fuzzy, I (among a number of us) appreciate that you feel you can tell us about your family situation. It is so sad that there are people like that but there are probably more than we know. Take my brother, when he was born, I was almost 10yrs old, I carried him home (in the car) from the hospital. I even named hin because my Mom & Dad couldn't agree on a name. My brother's name is David Lee Van Pelt. Back then, my best friend's name was David . And I was an admirer of General Robert E. Lee, so that's where the name Lee came from. My parents were really set back at the name and used it. I was always doing things that would include my brother. An example is: In October of every year, the Little Rock Fair took place and began with a parade that started on one side of North Little Rock (on Main street), go across town, up over the Main Street Bridge into Little Rock and end at the Little Rock Fairgrounds. For years (from the time I was in Junior High School), I would get out of school to get my little brother and take him to that parade. I took my brother to basketball games and such. When I was able to get a license and drive, I took my brother with me. It IS a sad thing to have a situation like that, I know. I've tried numerous times to try to get things turned around and with no luck. I'm tired of "One-Sided" efforts. I figure that it's HIS turn. If he'll make the effort, I'll make the effort also.

troppo · « **Reply #206 on:** May 29, 2008, 02:29:39 AM »

G`day guys
This seems to have been a very cathartic thread, plenty of advice, stories and sympathies have been posted, and i have read them all.
You lot have begun feeling like family through this thread, i feel i know you a little better and i thank you for being brave enough to show your human sides in here.
Never had a really close family myself, but thats a story for another time lol. Thanks for showing that feelings really arent bad as many folks try to make you think.
Cheers
Troppo

my78k · « **Reply #207 on:** May 29, 2008, 07:00:24 AM »

Troppo, another time?!?!? What better place than this thread??? lol...just kidding when you're ready you'll unload too!

Actually I agree about this making us feel like a family in here. Funny thing was (well not funny but more like scarey!) was I got a call that my brother was in the hospital last night. My brother and I have always had a pretty good relationship but don't see eachother enough etc etc. Well he is a pretty big guy and is definitely one for excess. Whether it is his beer or his work ethic he does nothing half way. I suspect that has a lot to do with his visit to the hospital last night. Chest pains...shortness of breath etc. Well luckily it wasn't a hear attack but definitely his high blood pressure acting up in a BIG way...probably doesn't help that in the summer he works about 80-100 a week (drives a truck seasonally so makes 90% of his cash in 7-8 months) and to keep him awake lives off of red bull etc...like I said he does nothing half way. Anyways, the call from my mom last night put it in perspective for me. Although we have always had a good relationship we are NOT the type of family to do the whole "I love you" thing. It is basically just understood. Well it may just be time to cruise the hour or so to his place for a visit this weekend (assuming that this latest scare will slow him down enough that he has time for the visit).

Dennis

bill440cars · « **Reply #208 on:** May 31, 2008, 02:50:23 PM »

To toppo and anyone else who might feel the need to unload about a situation in their family, I say "Go For It!"

After all, I started this one and if it helps someone else along the way, then that's cool!

Now, an update from Wednesday:

Called my Dad to see how he's doing and how they are treating him. He's doing okay, but apparently he's really starting to get sick and tired of my brother and his wife. Since the Doctor has pulled the restriction on Dad's driving, there has been no effort shown, to return his minivan to him. He's about ready to "Disown my brother now" and I think I know what's really starting to push my Dad's buttons. You see, my Dad's place is on a lake and Dad has a boathouse. Now there is an easement that actually belongs to the Game and Fish Commission and the boathouse sits on that easement. There are certain regulations for the boathouse. Used to, you could not put a door on it and certainly not a lock. That has changed and now you can (and my brother did). Nothing in that boathouse belongs to my brother. There is a boat in there that was given to my Mom, when she retired from the insurance company she worked for (she had made it up to being the Vise President of Claims and had started out working in the record room). My Dad put it in his garage and worked to convert it from just being a 14' flat bottom boat, to a nice Bass Boat with decking, compartments, 2 pedestal seats, outboard motor, trolling motor and 2 live wells. After he was finished with it, it was rarely used and has been suspended in that boathouse for years. Dad commented about it today and I told him that I had thought a couple of times about asking if I could bring it home, clean it up and go through it for him, but wasn't sure how he's take it. All of a sudden he said, "your brother would have a fit, If I gave it to you!" and he laughed.

Now, since my Mom's passing, I haven't heard my Dad laugh too much except since I've been able to visit with him and get his mind off of my brother (and his wife) and how they are treating him. So, I just may be bringing that boat to my home before long. I do hope he gives me that boat, not because f my brother though, but because it was my Mom's and my Dad built it up. And I wouldn't want it just to have it, I'd use it as well.
Well, I need to take care of something, so I gotta go.

Take care all, Bill

bill440cars · « **Reply #209 on:** June 03, 2008, 08:33:20 PM »

Well, I called my Dad again and checked on how he was doing. After he told me that things were about the same, he said that he's about ready to disown my brother, sell both places, buy a place up in this area and move up here closer to me! Now, while I have envisioned living in that house on the lake and working out in that shop, I'm not so self centered that I can't realize that this would be better for my Dad. After all, I DO realize that this IS about his contentment and it sure would make it easier for him to be taken care of and all.

It would be a lot easier for me to spend time with him, do things with him and take him places that I feel he'd like to visit. My biggest concern right off is, I would only want him to be driving around the area nearby and not getting out on the main highway going into Fort Smith. I don't think that that would be a problem though, he was only driving from his place to the small town close by, when my brother & his wife pulled his minivan away from him.

I'm going to have some more discussion with him about this and try to make sure that it wasn't just a whim. I DO know that he feels a bit cramped where he is now and I understand that. it is a very restrictive area where he is. That's it for now. Thanks for listening.

fuzzybutt · « **Reply #210 on:** June 03, 2008, 11:12:16 PM »

seems like both of you would be happier with your dad living nearer you Bill.

DarkRider · « **Reply #211 on:** June 04, 2008, 01:39:27 AM »

I have a feeling that would probably be better for you and him in the long run bill...

troppo · « **Reply #212 on:** June 04, 2008, 01:58:43 AM »

It sounds like it would be better for you and him (more importantly) in the long run, but please make sure he really wants to do it, and is not simply in a bad mood with your brother and wants to screw him up.
Good luck mate, hope this works out for the pair of you

bill440cars · « **Reply #213 on:** June 04, 2008, 06:48:18 AM »

Quote from: troppo on June 04, 2008, 01:58:43 AM

It sounds like it would be better for you and him (more importantly) in the long run, but please make sure he really wants to do it, and is not simply in a bad mood with your brother and wants to screw him up.
Good luck mate, hope this works out for the pair of you

[/quote]

Quote from: fuzzybutt on June 03, 2008, 11:12:16 PM

seems like both of you would be happier with your dad living nearer you Bill.

Quote from: DarkRider on June 04, 2008, 01:39:27 AM

I have a feeling that would probably be better for you and him in the long run bill...

Yeah, now I think it would be better all the way round. It sure would make it easier to visit him and vice versa. Also when it came to Doctor visits, it would be easier too. I was very surprised that he mentioned it. But, as I think back, I've heard him mention several times (when we'd pass a place with a little bit of land around a home) that he's like to have a place like that. So, he may see this as being an opportunity to do just that. Maybe he never mentioned selling his place before, because he knew that I hoped to be able to live there someday, I don't know.

troppo, you can believe that I am going to do my best to make sure that a move is what HE wants and not for any other reason. I just know that I need to do ALL I can to ensure that he can be more able to enjoy his remaining time here on this earth.

Take care guys, Bill

troppo · « **Reply #214 on:** June 04, 2008, 07:02:44 AM »

Bill
I had no doubt of your intentions, i was just trying to make sure you didnt jump on a bad period he was going through with your brother.
What say you invite him up for a week or so and just view the sites, no push no hassle but theres a lot of houses for sale on your "accidental" route.
Take him to the great places you have in your area. I dont know if he`s still safe on a bike but you could suggest building a trike or bike and sidecar between you, something to pique his interest.
My thoughts, ignore at will
Cheers
Troppo

DarkRider · « **Reply #215 on:** June 04, 2008, 08:19:09 AM »

hmmmmm bill you do have that 750A and side car combo thats begging to be built man....i agree with troppos idea...

bill440cars · « **Reply #216 on:** June 04, 2008, 08:34:03 AM »

Quote from: troppo on June 04, 2008, 07:02:44 AM

Bill
I had no doubt of your intentions, i was just trying to make sure you didnt jump on a bad period he was going through with your brother.
What say you invite him up for a week or so and just view the sites, no push no hassle but theres a lot of houses for sale on your "accidental" route.
Take him to the great places you have in your area. I dont know if he`s still safe on a bike but you could suggest building a trike or bike and sidecar between you, something to pique his interest.
My thoughts, ignore at will
Cheers
Troppo

Troppo, listen, if I made it sound like you were questioning my intentions, I apologize for that cause I wasn't. I put it that way because you had brought it up and that's all.

I would have him up for a few days or so, but don't have the room. We live in a pretty small house and there are 4 of us, as it is. I want to talk him one on one (face to face) and and then, if he's actually thinking about the move, I'll try to arrange a day (or so, if he wants to get a motel room for a couple of days or so) and try to have some locations lined up to check out. As I'm thinking about this, I need to talk to him and see just what he has in mind for the size of the place and how much land. I figure that he'll want maybe an acre or 2, because he wants to have some breathing room around the place and he doesn't have that now. I'm going to suggest a 2-bedroom house, one for him and one for me (in the event that he needs someone to be right there at one time or another)

troppo, if he does indeed move up here before too long, I've got a 60's Jawa 250 that I want to build up like one that he built back in the early 60's and do it to have as a remembrance of him. He built the engine in accordance with the Jawa Factory specs, using a pamplet that gives all the details (measurements and drawings) needed. That motor idled like it was gonna die (it idled so slow), but when you cracked that throttle, there was no hesitation at all! Dad keeps saying that I can do the porting and all, but I'm just not so sure. $:-\$ There's a lot of detail and, to me, 2 stroke mods are a lot more crucial. I've also got a sidecar that is on my 80' CB750K and I'm wanting to get my 77' CB750A (I got it from my Dad) ready and hook the sidecar up to it.

Chris, Might know that you'd pop in and say that about the 750A/sidecar before I could get it posted.

troppo · « **Reply #217 on:** June 05, 2008, 02:50:48 AM »

No worries there bill, no offence taken in any way shape or form.
I think you have the plan just right, maybe go and spend a night at his place and have a good long talk over a beer or two, just let it flow, he actually might be very interested in the idea but a little hesitant in case he "gets in your way". I know he wont but he may feel that way and not want to cause you any problems.
Once again mate good luck, thanks for all the updates, this is the ONLY soap i look at lol

bill440cars · « **Reply #218 on:** June 05, 2008, 08:09:02 AM »

Quote from: troppo on June 05, 2008, 02:50:48 AM

No worries there bill, no offence taken in any way shape or form.
I think you have the plan just right, maybe go and spend a night at his place and have a good long talk over a beer or two, just let it flow, he actually might be very interested in the idea but a little hesitant in case he "gets in your way". I know he wont but he may feel that way and not want to cause you any problems.
Once again mate good luck, thanks for all the updates, this is the ONLY soap i look at lol

I'm glad to be able to post here, to tell of things happening and all, cause it helps me to feel better. You folks here have offered support in the way of advice and your own personal experiences. I'm liking it too, because some of you have shared your experiences or things that are currently going on (or are up coming) with you all and that's cool.

In my opinion, anything that could help other, is a great thing to have.

The only SOAP huh? does that mean that I might get nominated for an award?

my78k · « **Reply #219 on:** June 05, 2008, 08:56:13 AM »

No but it might mean that a sister that you once thought died in a car crash really didn't...she has been hiding out with amnesia in the town next to your's but now she is back and planning on marrying your gardener who recently awoke from a coma. The down side is that he really is a long lost decendant of that doctor couple up the street and is unknowingly the heir to a fortune but before he can have a chance to realize it that couple is secretly planning on having him killed so that he can't interfere with the millions they are hoping to inherit....can you tell my wife watches soaps and when I work from home or have a day off I inadvertantly seem to catch 5 minutes of a show that makes absolutely no sense to me???

Dennis

bill440cars · « **Reply #220 on:** June 05, 2008, 09:21:23 AM »

Quote from: my78k on June 05, 2008, 08:56:13 AM

No but it might mean that a sister that you once thought died in a car crash really didn't...she has been hiding out with amnesia in the town next to your's but now she is back and planning on marrying your gardener who recently awoke from a coma. The down side is that he really is a long lost decendant of that doctor couple up the street and is unknowingly the heir to a fortune but before he can have a chance to realize it that couple is secretly planning on having him killed so that he can't interfere with the millions they are hoping to inherit....can you tell my wife watches soaps and when I work from home or have a day off I inadvertantly seem to catch 5 minutes of a show that makes absolutely no sense to me???

Dennis

I hear ya.

I was home one time, with a work related injury and on pain pills and such. I was sleeping off and on. I woke up with a soap on, went to sleep again and when I woke up again (about an hour later), there was a different soap but, it seemed the same!

TwoTired · « **Reply #221 on:** June 05, 2008, 10:52:50 AM »

Quote from: bill440cars on June 05, 2008, 09:21:23 AM

I hear ya. I was home one time, with a work related injury and on pain pills and such. I was sleeping off and on. I woke up with a soap on, went to sleep again and when I woke up again (about an hour later), there was a different soap but, it seemed the same!

You could have slept 10 years and it would still be the same.

It's only the commercials they change/update.

DarkRider · « **Reply #222 on:** June 05, 2008, 06:04:25 PM »

Well i just had a major scare this morning...got a phone call from the home that my mom is in telling me that she went to the hospital to get blood tests for possably having pneumonia (think thats the right spelling) and the way the woman put it..it sounded like she would be home later in the day..roommate phoned the hospital following a hunch after i had passed back out (i had only been sleeping for about 2 hours by the time i got that call...and didnt seem that urgent at the time) only to find out that she was still in the hospital...just got back from visiting her and she thinks she will be going home tomorrow...i have my fingers crossed and hope that is the case..

bill440cars · « **Reply #223 on:** June 05, 2008, 07:21:23 PM »

Chris, I just got in and had time to check up on things, to find that your Mom was in the hospital. Do hope they get here squared away soon and she recovers well. You take care of yourself and I hope you all are in prime shape soon.

bill440cars · « **Reply #224 on:** June 05, 2008, 07:24:35 PM »

Quote from: TwoTired on June 05, 2008, 10:52:50 AM

Quote from: bill440cars on June 05, 2008, 09:21:23 AM
I hear ya. I was home one time, with a work related injury and on pain pills and such. I was sleeping off and on. I woke up with a soap on, went to sleep again and when I woke up again (about an hour later), there was a different soap but, it seemed the same!

You could have slept 10 years and it would still be the same. It's only the commercials they change/update.

TT, No truer words were spoken.

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Author Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE! (Read 92562 times)

fuzzybutt

troppo

fuzzybutt

troppo

troppo

troppo