Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE!

[333]

I don't know what the market is like there, but I think that regardless of that, it would be hard to sell a house with freeloaders living in it.  Besides, if you evict them, you can rent it to someone who will actually PAY the rent.

[bill440cars]

       Hey Bobby.     Dad has talked about having them evicted from the house and putting it up for sale. He's even commented about going down there and putting a "For Sale" sign up. Don't know how he thinks he's going down there, he has no transportation right now. Something he has talked about, that I don't know if it would work or not, is to get the Doctor to send a letter (that gives my Dad his driving privilledges back) to the Perryville Police (or Perry County Sheriff's Dept) and tell them that my brother has his vehicles without his permission and he wants them back. Now, I don't know how or if that would work or not. I've told my Dad that, even though I'm not one who likes confrontations (Dad doesn't like them either, but he's getting pretty mad about this whole thing), I'd be there with him (if he'd let me know). I've got a bad feeling that this is really going to get nasty before it's all said and done. I can't tell you and ALL the others who have supported me in this, how much it helps to have your support, your advice and just being able to express my feelings and such. I'm not a violent person by nature, but I'm about ready to go down there and......Well, I'd like to kick his butt!!!!

                               Gotta go.  Take care,  Bill

[bill440cars]

I don't know what the market is like there, but I think that regardless of that, it would be hard to sell a house with freeloaders living in it.  Besides, if you evict them, you can rent it to someone who will actually PAY the rent.

           Yeah, probably would be a problem trying to sell the place with them in it and you couldn't show it either. When my Dad put my Grandmother's place up for sale, he had to go in and take care of some things. If he DOES get them out of that house, he's not in good enough shape to do much t that house to prep it for sale. Now, he might be able to get someone to fix it up instead of making some of the monthly payments or something like that, at least for a while (maybe).

                                     Thanks for the input guys, Bill

[DarkRider]

This is just a wild thought but...what if he were to "sell" the house to you? Suddenly bros got a new landlord who will not take his s**t giving you full power to evict them.  You have been saying you would like to keep the house in the family anyways...Just seems like a counter move that should have been considered. Given he tried to make you look like the black sheep of the family and take it all anyways. Once hes out...you work with your dad to get the house to be sold to someone for real.

[dusterdude]

damn good idea!!!!!!

[bill440cars]

This is just a wild thought but...what if he were to "sell" the house to you? Suddenly bros got a new landlord who will not take his s**t giving you full power to evict them.  You have been saying you would like to keep the house in the family anyways...Just seems like a counter move that should have been considered. Given he tried to make you look like the black sheep of the family and take it all anyways. Once hes out...you work with your dad to get the house to be sold to someone for real.

            Only thing is, I'd like to just have them booted and go from there. The house that they are in, is the one my Mom and Dad bought for my brother (David had no down payment & no credit) and he was SUPPOSED to be making payments all this time! He has made None. That place just needs to be sold and get my Dad's name off of the deed and the taxes to be paid by the NEW owner.
I haven't seen my brother since about Sept. last year, and his first comments were something like, " Well,  It would have been nice if we'd known you were coming, you could have called!" I looked at him and said, I didn't know til this morning, to which he responded, "You've got a phone!" I just looked at him and went back to what I was doing for Dad. He stayed for a few short minutes and walked out mumbling!   Made MY day and Dad thought it was funny too!

 
             I wonder if my brother has thought about or even realized any of the progress that I've made with my Dad, since being nearly "Banished" last year? I hope not, I want this to be a total SURPRISE!!! when he finally realizes that things have turned back around, and partially with his own doing!! My brother has absolutely NO idea about how to treat folks properly!

damn good idea!!!!!!

           Yeah, except that I'm just sick and tired if my brother sponging off of my Dad and trying to make me out to be the bad guy. I wish there was a way to sell the place and let the new owner give them the boot!                                   

[bill440cars]

Latest Update: 25 July "Is This The Beginning Of The End?"
I Certainly Hope So!                 


          I had some trouble getting hold of that Lawyer I was talking about, seems his mediations took longer than expected. Then, yesterday afternoon, I got an email from him to call him today. Then, a few minutes latter, I got another email telling me to call a different number that those that I had gotten from the phone book. He gave me his own personal number. So, the firs time I got the chance to call, was about 2:30 pm or so. Got him right away, he wanted to know "What was David trying to do to my Dad?" Then wanted to know how Dad was doing and what I was up to. We hadn't seen each other or spoken since he left the Army Reserve unit we were in back in the 70's. He "Highly" recommended a lawyer in the town where Dad lives near. He also said that the guy may be reluctant to take my Dad and me on, but just tell him that we came highly recommended by him and there would be NO problem. My only concern now, is who is my brother and his wife using? If it's the same guy, I'm hoping that the recommendation will out weigh whatever clout my brother has and the guy will dump them! I didn't think to ask THAT question. I can't believe my brother knows ANYBODY who has any clout.   Now, I've got to get down and talk to my Dad (also to figure out a way to keep him from thinking that I'm trying to take care of HIS business and get him to go to this lawyer and get this stuff set straight once and for all). My Dad is a very proud man and wants to take care of his own affairs and you have to appreciate that in a man. I'll update on this part separately in it's own post but still within this thread.      
       

[333]

Excellent!  Having gone through similar dealings with a lawyer, I know that a good lawyer will want to speak with your Dad alone to make sure he's not being manipulated.  So if your brother had some papers drawn up, and this wasn't done with your Dad, there's a good chance it's not the same lawyer.  Because I'm sure your friend wouldn't refer you to a slime lawyer.

[bill440cars]

Excellent!  Having gone through similar dealings with a lawyer, I know that a good lawyer will want to speak with your Dad alone to make sure he's not being manipulated.  So if your brother had some papers drawn up, and this wasn't done with your Dad, there's a good chance it's not the same lawyer.  Because I'm sure your friend wouldn't refer you to a slime lawyer.

           Yeah, I've all the faith in the world in our lawyer friend (if this type of work was the type that he did himself, I've got no doubt that he'd do this himself and do it with great pleasure! Now, I've got to get down to my Dad's ASAP and work the conversation around to where I can tell him that, in trying to help him get this thing settled for HIS sake, I've called this guy and gotten the recommendation of a local lawyer that comes "Highly Recommended".
I appreciate his wanting to take care of his own business and will give him plenty of room to do his business. I just want to do everything I can, to help him get things set the way he wants them, without it seeming like I'm trying to take over (like my brother)

[333]

You might approach it this way.  You've made an appointment for him to take care of his business.  As I mentioned before, any good lawyer will make sure it's what your Dad wants anyway.

[bill440cars]

You might approach it this way.  You've made an appointment for him to take care of his business.  As I mentioned before, any good lawyer will make sure it's what your Dad wants anyway.

       Well, he has been complaining more about how I was done by my brother, how they treat him and how he's fed up with it. I DO wan to go down there and tell him instead of doing over the phone. I just don't want him to get the idea that I'm reting to tell him how to run his business. Thanks for the thoughts.

                                        Take care, Bill 

[bill440cars]

      GUYS, MY DAD'S IN THE HOSPITAL! I'LL BE OUT OF POCKET FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND i'LL UPDATE ASAP!!!!! PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

[troppo]

Oh GOD bill, you are both in my thoughts, i hope its nothing serious.
You need to take care of him, and make sure you find out EXACTLY what happened.
Take your time mate, your dad is more important than we are

[DarkRider]

You know better then to ask for something thats always there Bill!! You are in everyones prayers at your time of need.

[fuzzybutt]

oh man Bill, my prayers are with you and your dad. anything at all that can be done from this end, dont even hesitate to ask.

[bill440cars]

      Well, they (my brother and his wife took him to the hospital in a nearby town because she went to take him to church and found him having problems getting a breath and "she said his face seemed slightly swollen". I noticed that when I talked to him Saturday night, he was somewhat out of breath and he put it off to having just gone out to the garage and back. Makes me feel that I really need to pay more attention to (what might be) signs of things. My brother's wife called me at about 5:30pm Sunday (this episode started about 7:30 AM Sunday morning) and was telling me this, also telling me that an xray of his lungs didn't look good for a "nonsmoker". "I said, a what?" To which she replied that he had quit 40yrs ago and should have cleared up somewhat. Well, the only thing is, he lived with my Mom who was a pretty heavy smoker herself and at least 2 others were around him that smoked also. I've ALWAYS heard that 2nd hand smoke is worse and he was in that environment until just a few months before she died of Cancer (which started in her lungs). They are gonna keep him there for a few days, don't know how many yet.  Thing is, while I was listening to my brother's wife, she was getting a call from the hospital (so she said) and said she would let me know what they said. She didn't call back! After a quick short discussion with my wife, I took off for Little Rock. I had to leave pretty abruptly because, by then, it was 6PM and visiting hours were from 6PM til 8:30PM It's about a 3 hour drive, normally (I was at the city limits of Little Rock by 8PM That's 2 hours for those who can't do the math.   Just kidding about the math thing. I got to the ICU at St. Vincents in LR, by 8:20 and they let me go on in and I stayed til about 9:30PM. By then, I had my Dad convinced to tell me where his CDs were and the Passbook for the savings account and agreed to my strong recommendation to put them in a Safe Deposit Box in HIS bank under both of out names. So I did that, on my way back home today, It is listed in "His OR My Name" and I have BOTH keys (gonna try to get him to let ME keep them for safe keeping) to keep THEM from getting hold of them. I kinda got run ragged last night and until about 4AM this morning. Here's what happened:

         After I left the hospital, I stopped by Wal Mart for a pair of jeans, a shirt and such (for a change of clothes , since I didn't bring any). Thought I'd pick up something at the McDonalds, that was in Wal Mart too (since I hadn't had any supper) While at the checkout, I realized that I didn't have the key to my Dad's place. I could not believe it. I HAD to get in my Dad's home and that key was the ONLY way! So, I drove all the way back to my home (got there at about 1:30AM). Got stopped on the way, doing 65 in a 45, I didn't even realize and the cop felt for me and let me off with a warning. I grabbed some things (including the key) and left to go back to my Dad's home (got there about 4AM) Sat and relaxed for a bit, got me a shower about 6AM, left Dad's home about 6:30 cause I didn't want THEM to come down and find me there (they don't know that Dad got a key to me). So, I went to the hospital and waited until I could see him and find out how his night went. Had a little time, so I got some breakfast and went in to see him soon as I could and stayed til about 10Am, when THEY showed up suddenly. I came back home, after stopping by his bank and securing those CDs in a safe deposit box. About an hour away from home, I started trying to fall asleep and it was a struggle to make it on home. BTW, Dad's talking about coming up here for a few days, when he gets out. He realizes that he has to listen t me when I tell him that we have to get this taken care of and move on with our lives, if we are to have any peace at all and be able to relax.

                Thanks for your support guys, I didn't know what all was happening with him.

                                     Take care, Bill  

[78 k550]

Prayer's are with you and your family.

Paul

[bill440cars]

       I called the hospital to check on my Dad and to let him know that his CDs and Savings Account Pass Book were safely in a Safe Deposit Box in his bank under "his name" OR "my name".

      And, when I asked about his any more info on his condition, I was told by his nurse, that he had congestive heart failure and they were going to do more test to get a better idea of the extent and all. I'm not sure how bad it is just yet, he seems to be mainly having problems trying to get a breath, if he exerts himself much. I just don't know where we'll go from here.


     Thank you Troppo, Chris, fuzzy, Paul and everyone else who've been so supportive though this time.

[333]

It seems to me that it would be considered normal for you to stay at your Dad's place if he's in the hospital.  Your brother and his wife shouldn't be able to say anything if you need a place to stay while you are visiting your Dad.  The last thing anyone needs, especially your Dad, is to have you fall asleep behind the wheel and t-bone a tree while driving back and forth.

Go.  Stay near your Dad.  I'm sure he'll appreciate you being there.

[Sam Green Racing]

I'm with 333 on that one Billy, you're no good to your dad if you bang yourself up.
Good luck Billy, you're in my thoughts also.

Sam.

[bill440cars]

It seems to me that it would be considered normal for you to stay at your Dad's place if he's in the hospital.  Your brother and his wife shouldn't be able to say anything if you need a place to stay while you are visiting your Dad.  The last thing anyone needs, especially your Dad, is to have you fall asleep behind the wheel and t-bone a tree while driving back and forth.

Go.  Stay near your Dad.  I'm sure he'll appreciate you being there.

         Yeah, you would think that the Primary concern would be my Dad's health and condition. And, in alot of cases, that's the way it goes. BU, that's not my brother's main concern.

         To tell you the truth, my brother doesn't look all that good himself. Thing is, He could actually go before my Dad does.

          Guys, I am going to have to leave it with you. I went to bed about 10:30 or 11:00 Saturday night, got up about 8:30 Sunday morning, this hospital stuff kicked up, I went to Little Rock about 6:00 Sunday evening, ended up driving back to Greenwood (got there about 1:30AM), Drove back to my Dad's (got there about 4:00AM Monday), Rested a short bit, took a shower, drove back to Little Rock (got there about 7:00Am) left the hospital (about 10:00AM, got about 30-45 minutes away from home and started falling asleep, got home okay, then, about 3:30 I crashed in my recliner and slept for a while. Now, I feel another "Sleep Attack" coming on. Can't seem to do without the rest, like I used to It doesn't have anything to do with age, does it?
 

I'm with 333 on that one Billy, you're no good to your dad if you bang yourself up.
Good luck Billy, you're in my thoughts also.

Sam.

           I hear ya guys, loud and clear! I wouldn't have done all that except that I really needed to get the key (that I accidentally left at home) so I could get the CDs and savings Pass Book and get them into a Safe Deposit Box, to ensure that my brother and his wife didn't get their grubby paws on them. Got some things to take care of here tomorrow and then I hope to make another run down there Wednesday to spend some more time with him and see what's going on.
                   And believe me , when I say that ALL your Support, Thoughts and Prayers help so much!

                        Thank You One And All!      Bill                 

[troppo]

Jesus, this isnt a good time for you mate, is it?
Dont you worry about anything but your dad. You go spend a couple of days down there with him and then bring him home for a few more days, he needs you right now and i think you need him too.
You say hi to him for us here and be careful on the roads, like sam said your no good to him if you smash yourself up.
Take care mate
Cheers
Troppo

[333]

         Yeah, you would think that the Primary concern would be my Dad's health and condition. And, in alot of cases, that's the way it goes. BU, that's not my brother's main concern.

         To tell you the truth, my brother doesn't look all that good himself. Thing is, He could actually go before my Dad does.

                   

And if he says anything, you need to remind him of that.  It may not stop the gears in his head from turning, but it should shut him up for at least a little while.

Venom in one comment, sugar in the next.

I am sorry to hear of your brother's apparent health issues.  No one deserves ill health just because of being difficult(how's that for PC!).

[my78k]

And if all else fails a few of the SOHC4 boys could always posse up and go for a ride to have a chat with your brother  it's a bit of a ride from here north of the border though...

On a serious note though, I echo the other sentiments in terms of taking care of yourself in this equation too. Your dad needs you to be well in order to help him but so does your wife and daughter! As does the boy you guys help with...you got a lot on your plate Bill...don't let it get too overloaded!

As always if there is anything that we can do (in addition to the thoughts and prayers) don't hesitate to ask!

Dennis

[bill440cars]

         Yeah, you would think that the Primary concern would be my Dad's health and condition. And, in alot of cases, that's the way it goes. BU, that's not my brother's main concern.

         To tell you the truth, my brother doesn't look all that good himself. Thing is, He could actually go before my Dad does.

                   

And if he says anything, you need to remind him of that.  It may not stop the gears in his head from turning, but it should shut him up for at least a little while.

Venom in one comment, sugar in the next.

I am sorry to hear of your brother's apparent health issues.  No one deserves ill health just because of being difficult(how's that for PC!).

           It'd probably be like water off a duck's back! My brother likes to think of himself as the one in control, in situations like this. He has absolutely NO idea what anyone is is involved in, on a day to day basis and thinks everyone can just jump up and go somewhere, at the drop of a hat. I mean, I've got to pay my bills and, right off, he has NO house payment (insurance or taxes either), no truck payment (insurance, tags or taxes) and no minivan payment (just got it last June) (insurance, tags or taxes) and no yelling what else he's faniggled out of my parents over the years.