Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE!

[kghost]

Well I hate to say it....

But as soon as the letter hits your brother....the #$%* will hit the fan.

I believe it will probably get nastier between you two and certainly between he and your dad.

Just want you to know..your in our thoughts and we are all pulling for ya.

Go Bill.

[fuzzybutt]

you know, when this is all over and done with, we should have a southeastern meetup. i for one would love to meet up with you Bill and the rest of the guys. with me not working and getting out like i used to i miss not seeing people.

[DarkRider]

you know, when this is all over and done with, we should have a southeastern meetup. i for one would love to meet up with you Bill and the rest of the guys. with me not working and getting out like i used to i miss not seeing people.

X2 on that one! If im able to be part of that im sooo down..

[bill440cars]

Well I hate to say it....

But as soon as the letter hits your brother....the #$%* will hit the fan.

I believe it will probably get nastier between you two and certainly between he and your dad.

Just want you to know..your in our thoughts and we are all pulling for ya.

Go Bill.

         To tell the truth, I expected to hear from my brother several times and have been surprised that I haven't. Those times were when I produced the Power of Attorney and had that run in with her  (of course he was off somewhere fishing and didn't want to be bothered ), when she found out that everything at the bank was "Off Limits" to her, when I changed the door locks that Saturday night (and HE had a UHual Trailer there) and when I sent them the copy of the letter that revoked All previous POAs. Oh yes, and when their attempt to go for Guardianship didn't work and I produced the info on her and gave it to their attorney! I'm not sure whether they are plotting their next move, if she is still around or has left or if it has been realized that there is going to be a reaction to their every action.   At any rate, they have not been seen or heard from for some time now (David/ since about the 2nd of Aug & Jan/ since the 4th, when she put him in there). My wife thinks that David realizes that he's "Ripped His Britches" with my Dad and is trying to figure out a way to get back in his good graces. Anyway, even though I'm feeling like we've got the upper hand, I'm still not letting my guard down.

                         Thanks for the support,  Bill   

[bill440cars]

you know, when this is all over and done with, we should have a southeastern meetup. i for one would love to meet up with you Bill and the rest of the guys. with me not working and getting out like i used to i miss not seeing people.

        Fuzzy, I would have to make sure that Dad is doing okay and, if we were able to manage it, I'd bring my Dad with me so he could maybe meet up with at least some of the folks that have been so supportive in this. We'll just have to see if we can manage it a bit later on, he doesn't have a lot of energy for now an we're hoping to get him to let us set him up with a really good Rehab place and get his condition analyzed. If I wasn't able to bring him, I'd need to know that he was doing pretty well.

[

X2 on that one! If im able to be part of that im sooo down..

          That would be cool and time will tell if we can pull it off Chris.

                          Thanks guys, Bill      

[bill440cars]

       Well, my Daughter Karla and I went down today to visit my Dad and also to briefly check the house and also to take pictures of the condition of the yard and all. While visiting with my Dad, he told me where he kept the "Civil War Letter" that we had that was written by one of our relatives way back there, to his mom. He was merely a drummer (because of his age) but was subject to be injured or killed just the same. Some time back (before my Mom died) my brother tried to say that my Grandmother gave the letter to him and that is pure old BULL! And my Dad told him so back then. Well, of course, when I went to check on the letter, it was gone. Guess he pulled that off. Hope he enjoys it, while he loses everything else. Dad said, "Just another example of why I don't want to see him any more or be connected to him in any way! Dad is very much PO'd (he didn't use this word, I did) and very much Hurt by the fact that David has and is acting this way. As it is, there doesn't appear to have been any activity at the house since I changed the locks.

        BTW, I told him about the support that you all were giving me in my efforts to get things the way that he wanted them and trying to do right by him and that you all said hello from THIS family and he said he appreciated it all and responded with a "Hello to you all and Thank you!"

                       And again, I also Thank You All.

                      Proud To Be A Member Of This Clan!

                                    bill440cars

[jtb]

Hey Bill,

Proud of you, Man.  You've certainly got things moving in the right direction.

When you get your dad lined up for therapy, make sure that they keep the program going.  He's been in the hospital a long time now, and it will be a long road back for him.  This is just my opinion, but... if you can get him to your place, or in a facility at home, you can check on him without so much travel.  And... you can walk with him, and exercise with him.  This will help him to make the effort, and the exercise is VERY important after a good stint in the hospital.

I pray that you get him strong and active again, and have a long time to enjoy each other.

John

[bill440cars]

Hey Bill,

Proud of you, Man.  You've certainly got things moving in the right direction.

When you get your dad lined up for therapy, make sure that they keep the program going.  He's been in the hospital a long time now, and it will be a long road back for him.  This is just my opinion, but... if you can get him to your place, or in a facility at home, you can check on him without so much travel.  And... you can walk with him, and exercise with him.  This will help him to make the effort, and the exercise is VERY important after a good stint in the hospital.

I pray that you get him strong and active again, and have a long time to enjoy each other.

John

           Hey John, thank you for the support. Every bit helps! All in all, he was in the hospital about 8 and 1/2 days and then to the Rehab/ Nursing Home about 19 and 1/2 days so far. Going to really try to get him to give a Rehab a shot, gut he thinks that he's basically done enough and also that when he gets out of there, he'll be back up to speed in no time. At least he's strongly considering coming up here with us. Now, we don't have room in our home, but there are 2 nice "Retirement homes" (independent and assisted living type) nearby and one is real close by and is a really nice looking place. We hope to be able to get him there and he would be able to he at our home quite often. I could also get over there very easy and get him out to do some walking, which wouldn't hurt me either! I want to get him in shape so that he can do some things with me and, unlike my brother, I don't have to be told what my Dad likes and doesn't like to do. All I have to do is to go for the things that I like to do and everything will fall into place. What can I say, I'm my Dad's son! Now, I'm not saying that my Dad doesn't have some interests that I may not be as interested in and vice-versa, that's only natural. To keep things going as smoothly as possible, I will do what I told my brother in the beginning. "Ask Him!" I mean DUH! Sorry, I HAVE to get off of the subject of my "So Called brother" or my irritation will just escalate and that won't do anybody any good.   With that being said, I'm shutting down the pc and get some much needed rest.

                                      Good Night All,  Bill

[GoatBaSS]

Wow. And somehow I wake up in the morning and THINK I have problems. Be prepped for the rest of the roller coaster, as it sounds like you are on a good stretch for now.
I have had conversations recently that have some snippets of truth: Three doctors I know have all mentioned the active life v.s. sedentary and there is benefit to moving everything. Stretch, walk, work, etc. Limber has a great deal to do with longevity.
I to have a brother and well... family tries ties every day. We are on a good stretch, I am not his keeper, nor his mother (although I know her!), and honesty without emotion behind it is the best relationship builder. Short sweet to the point and let HIM figure it out on his own screwed up time table.
You have moved on to bigger and better things.
Keep in mind movement will require adjustment, and there is the rub. If he ends up in a community it could be isolating or liberating. Keep in mind you may be thinking "spend time with dad" and dad could be thinking "enjoy times with people my own age, there is an interesting lady...". I have seen it go both ways. My friends father who is in his 80's is quite the ladies man, a worker at a local home was telling a story of the seven men in the 120 room facility ( Yes I said seven ) The ladies know who has the little blue pill...
People make me laugh more often than cry, and I tell you every day I laugh.
And that is a great reason to get out of bed.

[333]

Both my Mom and Mother-in-law live in independent living places, and are very happy with their choices.  My Mother-in-laws place offers aerobics classes to keep them moving.  It actually got her moving better than she had been for a couple of years.

And there's a "little blue pill guy" at each place.  While each one gets some action, they are a laughing stock to those who aren't interested.  Keep in mind, regardless of age, people will talk.

[DarkRider]

Glad to hear things are going well for you bill!

[bill440cars]

       No doubt that Dad would enjoy other folks company, who are closer to his age. I know that, he hasn't had much of any contact with anyone for some time, til recently. He definitely wants out of that rehab/nursing home. Says he wants to go home, but is willing to come up here for a bit. Now, I've told him that we really don't have room at our house see about setting him up close to us. Just knowing that he doesn't have to stay somewhere and only get out on a rare ocassion, helps. He primarily wants out of that nursing home and away from David and Jan. He is really thankful that I am here to get things the way he wants them too! One of the Retirement homes here, is right by a Church of Christ and that is the type of Church he belongs to in the town by where his home is. At this point, I don't think he will be able to be at home alone at the present time anyway. I'm hoping to get him back up to the level where he could live with someone dropping by several times a day to check on how things are going, make sure he's remembered to take his medicine and help with anything he needs help with, ya know? If not, we're hoping that he would find that living in an independent living place would help him to realize that he hasn't lost all control of his life, can go places and function pretty well as he pleases. As far as "the blue pill", he doesn't have that and if he could just socialize   with folks as he wants to, he would probably feel better too! So far the only thing he hasn't agreed with that I have suggested, was when I said that I'd like to fix his Dodge Dakota and maybe sell it. His immediate response was, "What if I wanted to haul something?" Od course I said that I could have a trailer hitch put on his van and his response was," I don't want a hitch on my van!" So, I told him, "Then we won't see about selling the truck then." And all was well for the rest of the visit. I was just trying to cut things back a bit and save him the extra expense of the Dakota pickup. Oh well, no biggie. Got lots of other things that are more important. I'm learning.

[burmashave]

Hey Bill, I've been lurking here for some time, but didn't want to post until I got caught up. Good on ya for taking on your father's welfare and for sticking it through without fail. You are a good egg, and I'm in your corner. I pray the split can mark the beginning of a turnaround.

you know, when this is all over and done with, we should have a southeastern meetup. i for one would love to meet up with you Bill and the rest of the guys. with me not working and getting out like i used to i miss not seeing people.

That'd be extremely cool.

[bill440cars]

        Guys, If there's any way to do some kind of get together a little later on, that would be cool. I have to try to get him back up to speed as much as possible, as soon as possible.  

[bill440cars]

        Well, made yet another trip today, took care of his mail, checked the house and found that a sword (that Dad had hanging on the hall wall) was missing and also an Indian Chief diecast that David had probably given him anyway. He had 2 of them in the house and one is gone. Only thing I can figure us that he came in through one of the sliding glass doors. I say this because I have not seen any where that has been damaged from forced entry. Also, I had not checked the door locks on the glass doors and they were not locked, even though there  were broom sticks in the tracks (they were just a little short and allowed the doors to be opened a couple of inches or so and he might have been able to use something to flip the broomstick out and slide the door open. I found some stiff plastic pipe and cut 2 pieces just long enough to drop in the tracks and not allow the doors to move at all. I WILL be doing something else with those sliding doors soon, along with notifying the Sheriff's Dept and asking them to keep  an eye on the place for a while also. Dad is talking in favor of coming up here for a while and even looking at the assisted living place real close to where we live. He could live there for about half the cost of the place he's at now. And it would be like a decent apartment too! The folks there say that most of the residents there, came originally for a short stay and liked it so well, they are still there. That would really be cool. It's been a pretty good day, other than I am fast running out of steam. I got that letter down to the local post office, where my Dad, David and Jan are and it should get to David and Jan tomorrow. Wife called Dad's "Family Doctor" yesterday and the nurse said he was pretty busy , but would call back today...... and he did. We'll just have to see.
 

[burmashave]

Man, Bill, that really puts into perspective any of the tiny issues I've had with my family (all decent folks). To have to battle your brother as the repeat criminal is beyond comprehension, although that's just the way it is. My only thought, and this may not be reasonable, might be to look into an alarm system from ADT, Brinks, etc. It seems the basic systems are somewhat reasonable because they don't come with lots of sensors. Rather, it's more the deterrent of putting an "ADT" sign on the lawn.

[bill440cars]

Man, Bill, that really puts into perspective any of the tiny issues I've had with my family (all decent folks). To have to battle your brother as the repeat criminal is beyond comprehension, although that's just the way it is. My only thought, and this may not be reasonable, might be to look into an alarm system from ADT, Brinks, etc. It seems the basic systems are somewhat reasonable because they don't come with lots of sensors. Rather, it's more the deterrent of putting an "ADT" sign on the lawn.

           Yeah, it's a crying shame when a person has to basically "Do Battle" with his own (So called) brother , over keeping his Dad (and Dad's life) to where he can have some peace and live as much more of his life outside a "Nursing Home". A lot of the folks that are in the one my Dad's presently in, are basically just "Waiting To Go Home!" (and I'm not talking EARTHLY home! The place that my wife and I are trying to get Dad to, is more life a nice apartment and NOT a "Holding Cell!"

            Thanks, I am currently thinking about a security system. I hope to get one that would be tied to the Sheriff's office (or some such).

             I'm gonna have to get out of here. I fell asleep 2 or 3 times and tried to repost my LAST post twice. Thanks again for ALL the support.

                               Nite All   

[333]

As for the ADT type sign, I've seen where you can get just the sign.

[bill440cars]

         Starting to get a bit nervous about the fact that we haven't knowingly seen (or heard) from David or Jan in quite some time. With me finding today, that one of the Indian Chief diecasts are missing along with a sword, from the house, I'm wondering if he's manged to work his way in through the sliding glass doors or picked the lock on one of the doors. At any rate, I'm going back down tomorrow morning, to talk directly to the Sheriff's Dept about the situation and ask for patrols in the neighborhood, along with some passes by his location (notice I DIDN'T say by HIS house) and also to get the model and serial numbers off of the lathe (my Granddad bought it to use in the motorcycle shop back in the early 50's, I think), an air compressor and a 5kw Generator (that's all I can think of at the present). Thing is, he's supposed to get the letter about gathering up Dad's things and bring them back in 7 days from the receipt of the letter. I AM currently looking into security systems (Brinks & ADT presently).
   

[kghost]

Dunno that I put alot of faith in the local law.....

Most of them seem to listen politely ...tell ya what you wanna hear...then ignore the situation.

Appease the public and what not.

Call me jaded..but I don't see the sheriff doing a whole hell of alot.

I think your on the right track with a security system.

Couple video cameras would tell you what you want to know.

One in the front one in the back will tell you if David has been in and out.

[mystic_1]

Couple video cameras would tell you what you want to know.

One in the front one in the back will tell you if David has been in and out.

Was gonna mention this option myself.  Nowadays one can get some fairly nice video monitoring systems, complete with DVR and multiple cameras, for just a couple of hundred bucks.  Cameras are tiny these days and DVRs will do motion detection and record many hours of video.

best of luck

mystic_1

[firecracker]

Although a security system "sounds" like a good idea, you may want to think twice.

Around here, they install the equipment for free, but you have to agree to a full year of monitoring.  If your dad is not moving back there, and you'll be selling the house, I don't think you want to be stuck in a contract like that.

Then again, if you sell it, maybe the new owners would take over the monitoring...  Just something to think about.

I vote for a sign in the yard (with no system) just to make D think twice.  Then, have the motion detecting video system inside.  If he never comes in, you've got something you can eventually move to your house/shop.  If he does, you'll have video evidence of his trespassing and possibly stealing.

Keep the faith.

[bill440cars]

          Not planning on selling the place, just the one where David and Skank are presently residing. Kinda thought our phones would be ringing before now. Don't know if that's a GOOD sign OR a BAD one! Dad seems to feel pretty good about coming up here for a bit. At least he will be out of that "Nursing Home" and the atmosphere is SO much better. I DID get enough info about his military medical coverage that, "out of pocket" expense on his Nursing Home stay, will be minimal. When I went back today, I listed things like a 7kw generator (back-up for the house, in the event of electrical power outage), Lathe, and other pieces of equipment in the shop part of his garage. That lathe was bought years ago (late 40's-early 50's) for use in his motorcycle shop. There's also a large drill press there, that was originally part of the motorcycle shop equipment too. Anyone ever hear of a metal turning lathe from a company named "Atlas"? I think it's got about a 4' bed. Gotta find out some info on that lathe.

        Well, they were supposed to get that letter (requesting Dad's things) today and, so far, we've heard nothing. Gonna call Dad later on this evening, as usual, and also to see if they had the nerve to ask if he requested his things from them. BTW, I just thought of a new name for him. David (Shiftless) & Jan (Skank).

        Also, got things arranged today, with a buddy, to go down with me and we are going to take care of those huge weeds and the EXTRA tall grass Friday. I can hardly wait for that. But, I have to tell you that it would NOT hurt my feelings to see the truck and the van (with his things inside them) setting on the driveway, in all their glory! I'm not getting my hopes up too high about that though. I'm expecting to have to get the Sheriff's Department to enforce the return of those things. Hoping we don't have to go that far, but I'm expecting it. They've got 7 Days.

                               Take care guys, Bill

[333]

Shiftless and Skank!

The thought that pops into my head is one of those old Frankie Avalon/Annette Funicello beach movies where the bad guy, Eric Von Zipper's, henchmen and women had goofy names on their shirts.  Like Shiftless and Skank!

[fuzzybutt]

atlas is a GOOD brand. really really good.