Author Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE! (Read 92300 times)

my78k · « **Reply #1350 on:** July 12, 2009, 10:43:00 AM »

Thanks Bill! and no worries about the late post at all...it's not like you haven't been "busy".

I just can't get over how things have gone for you the last little while. I did see some of the other threads about your dog and James etc but I don't always post in them since I never know what words to say...it all seems so trite when I type it out.

Just because I may not post to those threads don't think I (and others) are not reading them or anything...we all feel for you!

Oh and don't be afraid to share with Karla how proud you are of her...even at 34 I like to hear it occasionally from my parents so I know she would love to hear it too.

Hang in there Bill, it'll start getting easier eventually.

Dennis

bill440cars · « **Reply #1351 on:** July 12, 2009, 12:07:58 PM »

Quote from: my78k on July 12, 2009, 10:43:00 AM

Thanks Bill! and no worries about the late post at all...it's not like you haven't been "busy".

I just can't get over how things have gone for you the last little while. I did see some of the other threads about your dog and James etc but I don't always post in them since I never know what words to say...it all seems so trite when I type it out.

Just because I may not post to those threads don't think I (and others) are not reading them or anything...we all feel for you!

Oh and don't be afraid to share with Karla how proud you are of her...even at 34 I like to hear it occasionally from my parents so I know she would love to hear it too.

Hang in there Bill, it'll start getting easier eventually.

Dennis

I know what you mean about not knowing what to say and all. I've been there myself. There have even been times that I think I should post something about my Dad, Brenda or something....AND I just don't know what to say, even though I don't want you all to think something else has happened.

I know what you mean, about all that has happened. That's why I posted about needing an uplifting subject. I am ready (beyond actually) for something GOOD.

Yeah, I understand about reading and maybe not posting everytime and all.

Listen, I quite often (lately) refer to Karla as "My Rock". And I assure you that she has been. But that is sorta scary because she will most likely reach a point when she WILL have a problem with it and I certainly want to BE THERE for her.

Now, I found out something today, that rattled my cage.

Karla and I went over to see my Dad this morning and then we all would head out to Church. Well, when I picked up my Dad's pill from the lady at the retirement home, I asked if the home health nurse had been there to give him his insulin yet. She didn't know. So, I asked my Dad, and his memory isn't good and he said that he hadn't had it in days. I thought he just didn't remember and called the home health nurse to see. She wasn't sure, so she called the Nurse on call, who was in the area and came over. Come to find out, she said she had called a few days ago, to see if I needed more time and failed to make sure that I got the message. I didn't get the message. My Dad has been without his insulin since the 7th (got his last shot on the 6th. She was just so beside herself and so worried because of that. I told her that I understand and am just glad that my Dad isn't having any problems, because of it. I am back on duty with my Dad and the insulin. We missed Church, but I now know that things are straight with him and he got that meal out, which he enjoys so much. Now we are at home and waiting to see when and if James will be home (or if we are gonna have to go through THAT ordeal all over again.

Take care and thanks, Bill

malcolmgb · « **Reply #1352 on:** July 13, 2009, 03:04:57 PM »

Quote from: bill440cars on July 12, 2009, 12:07:58 PM

Listen, I quite often (lately) refer to Karla as "My Rock". And I assure you that she has been. But that is sorta scary because she will most likely reach a point when she WILL have a problem with it and I certainly want to BE THERE for her.

You know Karla may just be stronger than you think Bill, I know I felt very protective of my daughter thinking of the problems she has had over the past year, believing I had to be the one to help her through it but in the end all she needed was me in the background to tell her it was all going to be ok. Only you know your daughter Bill but don't underestimate her, after all she has Brenda and you as role models.

Sam Green Racing · « **Reply #1353 on:** July 13, 2009, 03:35:31 PM »

Billy, would it not be an idea to keep a register in your dads room for health visitors to sign each visit and enter treatments that have been administered.

Sam.

bucky katt · « **Reply #1354 on:** July 13, 2009, 03:54:41 PM »

Quote from: Samcr750 on July 13, 2009, 03:35:31 PM

Billy, would it not be an idea to keep a register in your dads room for health visitors to sign each visit and enter treatments that have been administered.

Sam.

THAT sir, is a great idea.

bill440cars · « **Reply #1355 on:** July 13, 2009, 06:46:56 PM »

Quote from: bucky katt on July 13, 2009, 03:54:41 PM

Quote from: Samcr750 on July 13, 2009, 03:35:31 PM
Billy, would it not be an idea to keep a register in your dads room for health visitors to sign each visit and enter treatments that have been administered.

Sam.

THAT sir, is a great idea.

That it is! At present, the only Health care he will get, will be the physical therapist. From the Day that Brenda passed away (that morning actually), I had "Home Health" check his blood sugar and give him his insulin daily. Now, as of YESTERDAY, I am back to doing that. But I DO like that idea though.

Take care, Bill

DarkRider · « **Reply #1356 on:** July 16, 2009, 04:16:51 AM »

Man you just keep getting hammered from all sides...and of course if S&S keep true to form...they may just get stupid and try something during this time....gah...this is one of the times i wish i was down there in the states able to help with things like this in person....Keep your head up bro and dont let the bastards get ya down!

Chris

bill440cars · « **Reply #1357 on:** July 16, 2009, 02:01:07 PM »

Quote from: DarkRider on July 16, 2009, 04:16:51 AM

Man you just keep getting hammered from all sides...and of course if S&S keep true to form...they may just get stupid and try something during this time....gah...this is one of the times i wish i was down there in the states able to help with things like this in person....Keep your head up bro and dont let the bastards get ya down!

Chris

S & S might just better keep their distance. Not sure how they would find out about Brenda because I sure NEVER called them. I wouldn't waste my time and, besides, Brenda would probably come back, if I did call them. There is NO love lost between S & S and ANYBODY I can think of. I have to Keep My Head Up Chris, I've got people depending on me and I don't, intentionally, intend to let them down.

Take care Chris & Take care of Yourself, Bill

bill440cars · « **Reply #1358 on:** July 19, 2009, 08:15:36 PM »

Well, went and took care of my Dad's blood sugar check (was good), gave him his insulin, took him to Church with Karla and myself, went and picked up lunch at Wendy's & hit the road to the Lake (where my Dad's place is). Got there, checked the place over and found nothing out of place since the last time. Dad went from room to room (like he's done for the last 3 trips) and settled in the garage by the SAFE (a Large one, that seems to be an old weapons safe) and he tried numerous times to open it, so we could make sure what was (or wasn't) in there. He finally admitted (for now) that I really needed to get a local locksmith in there to get it open. Now, I just need to hurry and get it done (hopefully before he changes his mind). I told him that I hoped to get back before Supper and he just seemed to take his time and next thing I knew, we were running enough behind that we had to get supper on the run.

I think he knew full well what he was doing, by delaying our leaving there. Oh well, we all had a good trip and, I'm sure he was probably "napping" by the time Karla and I got home.

seaweb11 · « **Reply #1359 on:** July 21, 2009, 05:56:36 PM »

Thought I would spill my beans here today.
Had my Dad and his new (4 week) boyfriend here for the weekend.
Long story, but he ended up in hospital via ambulance in Nanaimo. I was not impressed with this new guy at ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The 2 of them are killing each other with alcohol and drugs!!!!!!!! This new guy seems to have no ID, no $$ and is calling himself my dads husband after 4 weeks

I have a very bad feeling that he is a predator and thinks he just came into easy street. My father is quite wealthy, but also lonely.

Going to Vancouver tomorrow with one of my best friends 30 years+ where we are meeting another buddy of 45 years, my younger sister and my eldest daughter.
We are going over to.......
THROW this looser guy out of Dads house! It will be a calm affair, one of my buds has his PHD in Phyc and Sociology and will take on the role of mediator, but this Fu=k*n guy will be out of the house before we leave!

Sad day when we become our parents parent. I thought it would be a slow process, but I just got hit with the WTF Rock in the head this weekend

myhondas · « **Reply #1360 on:** July 21, 2009, 06:11:58 PM »

Hey it a big circle. you start out kind of helpless and without a clue and totally dependent on your closest family members (parents). then you go through life and when you start nearing the end, you find yourself kind of helpless and without a clue and totally dependent on your closest family members (kids)

bill440cars · « **Reply #1361 on:** July 21, 2009, 06:53:58 PM »

Quote from: seaweb11 on July 21, 2009, 05:56:36 PM

Thought I would spill my beans here today.
Had my Dad and his new (4 week) boyfriend here for the weekend.
Long story, but he ended up in hospital via ambulance in Nanaimo. I was not impressed with this new guy at ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The 2 of them are killing each other with alcohol and drugs!!!!!!!! This new guy seems to have no ID, no $$ and is calling himself my dads husband after 4 weeks I have a very bad feeling that he is a predator and thinks he just came into easy street. My father is quite wealthy, but also lonely.

Going to Vancouver tomorrow with one of my best friends 30 years+ where we are meeting another buddy of 45 years, my younger sister and my eldest daughter.
We are going over to.......
THROW this looser guy out of Dads house! It will be a calm affair, one of my buds has his PHD in Phyc and Sociology and will take on the role of mediator, but this Fu=k*n guy will be out of the house before we leave!

Sad day when we become our parents parent. I thought it would be a slow process, but I just got hit with the WTF Rock in the head this weekend

Yeah Derek, it's a cryin' shame that things like that have to happen. You just never know what's going to happen, or when. Hope you'll let us know how it came out. There seems to come a time when parents need guidance, but there's no warning, it just pops up out of the blue! Take care of yourself as well. I'm glad that you felt free to open up here, cause ANYONE can pop in HERE and lay out whatever they need to.

Just TOO bad that it has to come to things like that.

bill440cars · « **Reply #1362 on:** July 22, 2009, 07:51:42 PM »

Now, I'm wondering about Derek's (seaweb11) trip went? Feel better myself, when I know that things went well for him (his family and friends). $:-\$ Can't help but be concerned.

seaweb11 · « **Reply #1363 on:** July 24, 2009, 01:15:36 AM »

Just got home a few hours ago.
Feels like I was away for 4 days

I had the intervention completely worked out between all involved before hand including seating arrangements. Sitting my father on a couch I knew he couldn't get out of without help. As long as he couldn't get away from us I figured we could just keep bring up points about this situation and getting him to agree with us enough times to finally close the Deal.............It took almost 3 hours but he finally agreed it was in his best interests.

You should have seen the look on this guys face when we brought him back into the house, Dad had already gone out the front door into one of my friends waiting cars and down to the ocean for an hour while the rest of us watched him pack. I did bring black garbage bags and we ended up just stuffing a bunch of his crap into those.

Drove him to the East End of Vancouver, found him a $220.00 per week hotel, I paid the cash and we left him standing there crying, but with an address for a week so he can hit up the Canadian Govt for welfare or what ever else he wants to do for money. 56 years old and useless

Good riddance looser.

I also signed the Power of Attorney documents

Still a long way to go, but I can at least go away on my ride knowing more family members are going to be keeping a closer eye on him until I get back, and that he is safe.

seaweb11 · « **Reply #1364 on:** July 24, 2009, 01:31:38 AM »

P.S. My sister just emailed me. She was able to spend an extra day today and tonight with Dad. Seems he wants to attend an AA meeting

She will be coming back up from the US next week to go with him

I'm out

bill440cars · « **Reply #1365 on:** July 24, 2009, 04:41:57 AM »

Derek, That is AWESOME!!!! You all have been on my mind, since you 'Spilled the beans' and I am SO glad for you AND your Family, that your Father is in good hands NOW!

GREAT JOB!!!!!

Take care, Bill

my78k · « **Reply #1366 on:** July 24, 2009, 06:53:35 AM »

Derek, I am so glad your situation has turned out so weel. I wish we had the same luck with my mother inlaw. Similar circumstances...was an alcoholic all her life and after her husband passed on she hooked up with a total jerk who kept giving her alcohol and no matter how many times we tried to step in and convince her it was a no -go. Even after losing her leg and being diagnosed with severe liver damage, and neurological issues she kept insisting she wanted to be with him and more or less pushed us out of the way. When she did finally drink herself into the grave guess who had to pick up the pieces and pay for the funeral and and and....

Dennis

bill440cars · « **Reply #1367 on:** July 24, 2009, 10:20:03 AM »

Quote from: my78k on July 24, 2009, 06:53:35 AM

Derek, I am so glad your situation has turned out so weel. I wish we had the same luck with my mother inlaw. Similar circumstances...was an alcoholic all her life and after her husband passed on she hooked up with a total jerk who kept giving her alcohol and no matter how many times we tried to step in and convince her it was a no -go. Even after losing her leg and being diagnosed with severe liver damage, and neurological issues she kept insisting she wanted to be with him and more or less pushed us out of the way. When she did finally drink herself into the grave guess who had to pick up the pieces and pay for the funeral and and and....

Dennis

Man, that is a real tough one Dennis. It's a real shame that things sometimes go that way. In 2007, when my Dad wasn't in the best shape mentually and thought I was stealing from him (convinced by S & S that I was), If I had not kept on going back, I wouldn't have gotten him back and away from THEM. Sometimes it works, sometime it doesn't. For several months, he really didn't want to have anything to do with me and was so withdrawn when I'd go to see him. Finally, things started working out, fortunately for Him AND ME! I KNOW, in my own mind, that if he'd have stayed in that nursing home that they put him in, he'd have already given up and died there. Seems there are SO MANY situations like this and some turn out well, while (as we know) some don't turn out so well.

You take care Dennis, Bill

bill440cars · « **Reply #1368 on:** August 19, 2009, 05:21:39 PM »

Well, yesterday, I told my Dad that I was going to see about taking him to Little Rock to Denney's to see that waitress that had waited on him and my Mom for so many years. You see, she said that she was retiring this Sept and the 11th would be her last Work day! Well, things went real well, I had made arrangements to cover everyone so my Dad, Joey and I could make the trip AND not have to hurry back. Also figured that I'd stop by and see my Mother-in-law while we were there. Things were going well. while driving in Little Rock, my Dad made several comments about changes that had been made and such. We went and ate, went to see my Mother-in-law (who broke down shortly after I got there), we (she and I) visited just a little bit and we left to head back. As we started going through the area we had just come through a little while back and my Dad seemed totally confused, saying that he hadn't been there before and where was this and things like that! I could not believe what I was hearing, he seemed like he was totally lost! I didn't know what to think OR what to do!

I even went to where I could turn around and go back to try to make sense of it all. Now, JUST AS SOON AS I TURNED AROUND, He said, now I remember THIS! THen it Dawned on me!!!!!!!!! He recognized everything when we were going down that street, bu not when we went in the OPPOSITE direction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Except for that, the trip went pretty well.

Only thing is, we found out that that waitress had moved her retirement date up some and a week from tomorrow, will be her last work day. So, I have told him (and her) that I'd try to get him back down one more time! I thought I had more time in which to do that. Oh well, at least she will be there and hasn't left yet.

my78k · « **Reply #1369 on:** August 19, 2009, 05:29:30 PM »

Glad you got down there Bill! I didn't realize Brenda was survived by her mom...Hope she is holding up ok. A parent should never out live their child...(actually that didn't come out right, A child should never pass before before their parent)

Did you get a chance to swing by and check on your dad's place? Also any movement on him getting his stuff back from S&S?

Dennis

kghost · « **Reply #1370 on:** August 19, 2009, 06:31:19 PM »

I haven't posted here much.....

Having family issues of my own and alll.

Just wanted you guys to know your still in my thoughts and I'm pulling for ya.

my78k · « **Reply #1371 on:** August 19, 2009, 06:45:34 PM »

Anything you wanna get off your chest Ghost? Or maybe you did and I missed the thread...

bucky katt · « **Reply #1372 on:** August 19, 2009, 08:33:06 PM »

good god, i hit the "new" reply icon and i started to read, got a bit of a jolt till i realized i was reading the very first post again. i got all confused when you had said that your brothers wife called

damn i need to pay attention more. how are you and the family Bill? all is well i hope?

kghost · « **Reply #1373 on:** August 19, 2009, 09:32:56 PM »

Quote from: my78k on August 19, 2009, 06:45:34 PM

Anything you wanna get off your chest Ghost? Or maybe you did and I missed the thread...

Suffice to say I have my sister and her children living with me.

GoatBaSS · « **Reply #1374 on:** August 19, 2009, 10:57:18 PM »

[/quote]

Suffice to say I have my sister and her children living with me.
[/quote]
Blessed are the inn keepers.

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Author Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE! (Read 92300 times)