Author Topic: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be  (Read 1064 times)

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Offline jgary

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SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« on: October 23, 2007, 08:23:05 AM »
Hi guys.  In addition to playing with my two 750's, I'm writing stories.  I finished my first one, and am looking for feedback on where it can be improved.  I'm working under a pen name, Roger Louis.  I have a web site set up where you can download the current draft.  I'd love it of you'd take a look at the site and read the story.  Feedback on both the site and the story would be invaluable.  The site is www.biglakepublishing.com, and there's a link to the Download page where you can get a copy of the story in PDF format.  Thanks!

John.
1972 CB 750
1976 CB 750

Offline SteveD CB500F

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Re: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2007, 09:09:23 AM »
Blimey John (that's English for **£$%** John)

108 pages!

This may take a while and I'm no literary critic, but I'll give it a go.

What genre (before I start)

I like SF, thrillers and "round-the-world-on-a-motorcyle" books. Oh, and Zen of course!
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Offline mikedialect

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Re: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2007, 09:09:48 AM »
If I were you, which I'm clearly not, I would add a small synopsis of the story you have for download. Something to garner some interest in the story instead of just a title.
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2007, 09:12:33 AM »
If I were you, which I'm clearly not, I would add a small synopsis of the story you have for download. Something to garner some interest in the story instead of just a title.

What he said, ditto.
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Offline jgary

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Re: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2007, 10:45:06 AM »
Good point gentlemen.  Here's the synopsis:

Set in the near future and relying on technology currently under development, The Chosen Few tells the story of a regular, ordinary person, Jason Brady, forced into an experimental medical treatment for relief of severe migraine headaches.

The treatment relies on experimental nanotechnology, compromised by an amazing discovery-an extraterrestrial contact.

Sloppy housekeeping makes Jason the link between the alien signal and the professor behind their detection. The nanotech company wants to stop Jason from destroying their product plans, and the government wants to stop the professor from revealing what he has learned. The only way out is to secure a computer and announce this discovery to the world before they are caught.


Thanks!
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1976 CB 750

Offline Uncle Ernie

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Re: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2007, 08:21:30 PM »
Dammit! You think changing my name will throw anybody off?! 
I told you all that in the strictest confidence!










Couldn't you just mimiograph a few copies and leave them on the table by the door?
Dude- your 8 layers are showing!

Offline SteveD CB500F

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Re: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2007, 02:22:44 AM »
You still around John?

I've finished it - do you want privat feedback or shall I put it up here??
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Offline jgary

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Re: SOHC4 Author Wanna-be
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2007, 07:05:01 AM »
I'm still here!  I think I'd prefer it privately, just in case others have some feedback too.  Thanks!

John.
1972 CB 750
1976 CB 750