Author Topic: Vintage Hollywood Squares  (Read 1392 times)

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Offline nickjtc

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Vintage Hollywood Squares
« on: November 09, 2007, 08:05:03 AM »
You younger ones won't remember the 'original' Hollywood Squares, but we old farts will. These questions and answers are from the days when answers were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.

Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde : If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, At least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver (aka Clifford Arquette ): Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts : That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie : No; wait until morning.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price : No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are .......'Do It'...... 'I Can Help,'...... and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie : You ask me one more growing 'old' question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde : Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charlie, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver : Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie : Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde : Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie : Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen : Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde : Make him bark?

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver : It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde : Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde : Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver : I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: Vintage Hollywood Squares
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2007, 08:07:18 AM »
Laughing at the lines AND because I remember the show. ;) ;D
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Offline my78k

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Re: Vintage Hollywood Squares
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2007, 10:42:26 AM »
I only recall the Whoopi in the centre square years...these were far funnier though!

Good post...take 2 karma points out of petty cash! (Wait those are almost as old as these lines are!)  ;)
 
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Offline 333

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Re: Vintage Hollywood Squares
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2007, 12:31:50 PM »
I feel old.  Not only do I remember, I can hear these answers in these guys voices!
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Offline medic09

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Re: Vintage Hollywood Squares
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2007, 09:28:20 AM »
I feel old.  Not only do I remember, I can hear these answers in these guys voices!

+1 !

And they were brilliant!  :D
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Offline S-Dog

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Re: Vintage Hollywood Squares
« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2007, 11:10:41 AM »
Thank God for Game Show Network... I can here a flamboyant Paul Lynch answering theose questions in my head.
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