Reminds me of an old lady comic...
"I was talking to my ol' ladyfriend the other day, asked her how she'd been, hadn't seen her in awhile. She said she had been terrible, tried to kill herself, but here she is...
I asked how she tried to do it, what happened.
'well' my friend said, 'I took my gun, and put it to my left breast and pulled the trigger.'
'But... you're still here!' I said.
'Well, no thanks to the man who told me to aim the gun there. Now I'm depressed AND I blew off my left kneecap!'