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Author Topic: The Bear remover  (Read 1944 times)

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Offline Terry in Australia

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The Bear remover
« on: December 02, 2007, 04:50:18 PM »

    A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.

    So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for Bear
    Removers.'
    He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30
    minutes.
    The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder,a
    baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
    'What are you going to do,' the homeowner asks?
    'I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go
    up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
    When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles
    and not let go.
    The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in
    the cage in the back of the van.'

    He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

    'What's the shotgun for?' asks the homeowner.
    'If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.  ;D


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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

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Offline Steve F

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2007, 05:34:35 PM »
 :D    :D     :D
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Offline Jonesy

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2007, 06:49:26 AM »
REAPEAT!! REPEAT!!!

(I posted that one before!  ;D)
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Offline dusterdude

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2007, 11:56:52 AM »
its still funny
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2007, 12:00:55 PM »
Sorry Jonesy, I didn't see your thread. My apologies mate, but hell. it's still funny! ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Jonesy

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2007, 07:20:21 PM »
No worries, mate... (just filling during RSnip's "dereliction of duty"!)

I never, ever said it wasn't still funny, did I?  ;) ;D :D
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"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2007, 11:51:00 AM »
Yeah that's a point, where is that old "Arse-Snip" anyway?  ???  ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2007, 11:17:54 PM »
Quote from: Terry in Australia on December 02, 2007, 04:50:18 PM

    A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.

    So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for Bear
    Removers.'
    He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30
    minutes.
    The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder,a
    baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
    'What are you going to do,' the homeowner asks?
    'I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go
    up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
    When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles
    and not let go.
    The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in
    the cage in the back of the van.'

    He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

    'What's the shotgun for?' asks the homeowner.
    'If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.  ;D




Was the bears name Mohammed ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sam. ;)
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2007, 11:30:48 PM »
I don't know if our American cousins will be aware of that situation Sammy?  ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2007, 02:18:41 AM »
Quote from: Terry in Australia on December 04, 2007, 11:30:48 PM
I don't know if our American cousins will be aware of that situation Sammy?  ;D

It's been one of the top stories on CNN for the past several days. Glad ti worked out for the teacher by the way. ;)
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2007, 12:23:03 PM »
Me too Bob, but seriously, how dumb was she? Some people shouldn't be allowed out of their own country................. ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline medic09

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2007, 05:18:01 PM »
Bear's name was Teddy.  After a forced conversion, he changed it to Mohammed.  THEN he was in trouble!
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Offline cleveland

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Re: The Bear remover
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2007, 05:41:17 PM »
LOL!!!  I haven't heard that one before.
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