Now listen Sam, I don't want to get all racial here, but if you look at the team list, you won't see too many "Smith's" or "Jones's". You see, after we all won the war, we opened our arms to migrants from all over the world who we'd previously butchered in huge numbers because at the time, it seemed like a cracker of an idea, and of course, most came from Europe as there wasn't all that much left of it at the time, except for a few smoking ruins of really nice historical buildings that we'd missed with our excellent bombs.
Being the laid back, flexible folk that we all are here in Oz, we allowed all those migrants to bring their cultures with them, even their less desirable habits, like cooking strange meals that didn't include lamb chops and mashed potatoes, drinking wine and not proper drinks like beer, and playing a game with a round ball, that excluded girls, but still included hugging, kissing, and fondling each other at any opportunity. We were all a bit embarrassed by this behavior, so we all looked the other way, or just shagged their sisters, who were keen to hang out with real sun-bronzed Aussie blokes.
Over the years we've embraced multi-culturalism, and are happy to host migrants from all over the world, who bring with them all the color and flair of their previous homelands. So respected are we for this friendly, flexible approach, that we were recently asked if we could spare one of our top Aussie gals to teach the prince of Denmark how to have sex with girls that aren't his first cousins, for the purpose of producing another generation of Danish royals, who of course will now be half Australian, and will no doubt ban public displays of "man love", and of course, Soccer.
Of course the Kiwi's, (New Zealanders) apart from their predilection with sheep and their chronic speech impediments, are pretty much like us Aussies, except that they're all communists, and their Prime Minister, Helen Clark, was born a man. We have many, many, many Kiwi's here, and once again, are happy to provide some of our ace Aussie sheila's to breed the less desirable traits out of them, but luckily enough for us all, they enjoy the same sports as us, (cricket and rugby) and as you'd expect, are crap at them.
Anyway Sam, now I've given you a quick tour of recent Aussie history, I'm sure you'll understand that while Australia embraces multi-culturalism, and defends the rights of it's citizens to demonstrate the freedoms that are inherent in belonging to this wonderful piece of real estate that we had to ruthlessly murder many thousands of harmless natives to procure, there are some things that us Aussies still find distastefull, and the most vile of all would have to be................(drum roll).............. Soccer, ha ha! Cheers, Terry.
