Author Topic: Ashes Thread (England vs Oz) (Read 39774 times)

Bob Wessner · « **Reply #50 on:** July 12, 2005, 06:28:23 PM »

Quote

Dry Reschs

Is that one of those fabulous Australian wines I've heard so much about?

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #51 on:** July 12, 2005, 08:39:51 PM »

Being the wonderful country that Oz really is Bob, our wine making district in South Australia, the Barossa Valley, has almost put our gallic friends with the hairy armpits (and that's just their women!) out of business, to the point where we were successfully sued for calling Aussie Champagne, er, Champagne?

Seems that all the connoisseurs around the world thought our plonk was as good or better than the snail munching inventors product, but because we don't walk around with our heads up our asses we were selling the stuff at much more reasonable prices, so in desperation they sued us for using the name, ha ha!

As opposed to our war avoiding, garlic sucking competitors, or even our British cousins, New South Wales brewers products are not well known outside of that wonderful state, but if you tasted them, you'd quickly understand why. While many other Australians think that the only good thing to come out of this state are the roads leaving it, I don't share that opinion.

I have some very good friends who live there, and appear to enjoy it. Most of them are criminals though, but if you understand that their ancestors were mostly convicts transported here from Britain, you'll realise as I eventually did, that an apple never falls far from the tree. They do have a very colorful parade there once a year to celebrate their darker desires, but my advice is that if you drop your newspaper, just go and buy another one, it's not a good place to bend over, ha ha! Cheers, Terry.

kghost · « **Reply #52 on:** July 12, 2005, 08:49:12 PM »

Got to love the Cheese eaters, Pretty snobbish for a country that didn't win a war in the whole last century.

P.S. Thought that was an endearing quality... the darker side.

SteveD CB500F · « **Reply #53 on:** July 13, 2005, 02:04:07 AM »

Little known fact 1: There are more varieties of cheese made in UK than in France (it's just that we eat it all and don't bother exporting it!)

So how cheap is this Aussie vino? The French stuff is really cheap if you drive there and buy it in the local supermarket - and you can get a ferry now for about £20 return.

Who mentioned cricket?

Quail "Owner of the comfortable k8" · « **Reply #54 on:** July 15, 2005, 10:50:06 PM »

Quote from: kghost on July 12, 2005, 08:49:12 PM

Got to love the Cheese eaters, Pretty snobbish for a country that didn't win a war in the whole last century.

P.S. Thought that was an endearing quality... the darker side.

I like military guns, cheap/fun to shoot and cheap. I picked up a small carbine that the french made (for parades I guess) and when I opened the box and cleaned off the old wax I found I had a brand new rifle that did not appear to have been fired for less than 50.00. That make the gun advertisment " cheap French rifles never been shot only dropped once" seem true. I understand why they do not like the Britts, Ausies, and us Yanks. I have been to Paris, after they gave it to Hitler and then we all returned it back to them on a silver platter they were stuck with it. Sorry about your luck. I love to raze the French. If you are French and live in France and what I said bothers you.....OK.

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #55 on:** July 16, 2005, 02:05:32 AM »

Good one mate, I actually don't mind the French, I've been to Paris and really liked the food and wine, not to mention the french babes, but yeah, the French men are pretty arrogant, and for no good reason.

I like the riddle: "Why are the streets of Paris tree lined?" "So the German soldiers can march in the shade!"

Cheers, Terry.

kghost · « **Reply #56 on:** July 17, 2005, 09:58:00 PM »

Being from South America with "no dog in the fight"

Vis-a-vis french arrogance............

The French owe some folks a debt of Honor.

Go to the beaches of Normandy if you don't believe.

Gold, Sword, Juno and Omaha ring a bell?

I would prefer the French just said "Thanks for being our friends" then shut the hell up.

SteveD CB500F · « **Reply #57 on:** July 19, 2005, 04:05:41 AM »

I've been to most of the D-Day beaches and toured the cemetries with my kids. It is very moving.

I like France - it's a great place to holiday, the roads are well made and it's nowhere near as crowded as Southern England!

I also like to beat them at football, rugby and winning Olympics!

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #58 on:** July 23, 2005, 06:34:18 PM »

G'Day Steve, how's it going? After your original post you sparked my interest, and as I'm currently working interstate (Adelaide) and staying in a city hotel I've had plenty of spare time to watch TV, (if you've been to Adelaide you'd know what I mean) and I've noticed that after so much initial hype by the British media, England's cricket team hasn't quite lived up to expectations?

While I must concede that England seems to have improved somewhat since last season, I think it's fair to say that they are still crap. You'd think that with all the Australian cricketers that England pay enormous money to play for them in their county teams, your skills would have improved greatly, or is it like when your car and motorcycle industry was being threatened by asia, where England couldn't believe that "foreigners" could teach them anything? How are those Chinese MG's looking? Ha ha, Cheers, Terry.

chrometank · « **Reply #59 on:** July 24, 2005, 11:38:58 PM »

Thats it terry keep it up ! we gotta make up for the humiliation of loseing to the poms in the rugby world cup.Il send some snaps tonight.
cheers

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #60 on:** July 25, 2005, 12:08:33 AM »

Thanks Chromey! Where are you located, in Sydney? Cheers, Terry.

chrometank · « **Reply #61 on:** July 25, 2005, 12:59:52 AM »

Hey terry,down town north sydney.I work as a carpenter at Luna park on the harbour.I usually have the bike down here so if your ever in syd. swing by n check it out ! I have a great workshop down here with 5 fitters n turners to help out when i run into trouble with the bikes not to mention heaps of stainless nuts n bolts n things like that.
cheers

SteveD CB500F · « **Reply #62 on:** July 25, 2005, 12:58:00 PM »

Well I guess we had to get back to this eventually...

Sorry guys - I've been away due to family bereavement.

I thought that we were great until tea on Thursday - shame a test match has to last 5 days (or 3.5 in this case)

Anyway, England are always crap at Lords (birthplace of cricket and all that), but you wait until Edgebaston (that's in Birmingham).

We shall see.

It's not over until the fat lady sings (and your Shane was looking a bit porky this week)

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #63 on:** July 25, 2005, 05:00:17 PM »

I guess it depends on your perspective Steve, I thought England were crap from day one, ha ha!

Warney a bit porky? As long as he keeps bowling out Poms, he can look like John Candy and we'd still love him! Cheers, Terry.

oldbiker · « **Reply #64 on:** July 26, 2005, 03:31:43 AM »

Terry, we did that on purpose to lull you lot into a sense of false security. ( I think)

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #65 on:** July 26, 2005, 06:17:24 PM »

Keep those piss-weak excuses coming Mr Baker, ha ha! It must be particularly sad for you mate, you're old enough to remember when England WEREN'T crap! Cheers, Terry.

oldbiker · « **Reply #66 on:** July 27, 2005, 02:33:41 AM »

Terry, I'm old enough to remember when my great grandfather was deported to Australia. Mind you I admit the Australian team's insults are far better than the English team's.

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #67 on:** July 27, 2005, 03:00:40 AM »

Ok, now I don't want to accuse someone of your advancing years of 'fibbing" John, but the most obvious hole in your story is how your great grand-daddy was transported to Oz, and for some reason he returned to England?

I haven't heard any insults from the Aussie team yet though, you need to understand that if they say that England's team is crap, that's not meant to be an insult mate, it's just a qualified observation, ha ha! Cheers, Terry.

oldbiker · « **Reply #68 on:** July 27, 2005, 05:37:41 AM »

Oh Terry, now you've hurt my delicate feelings. Boo Hoo.

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #69 on:** July 27, 2005, 04:56:15 PM »

Sorry mate, cheer up, I don't want to make an old English gentleman cry, I'll leave that to the Aussie cricketers! Cheers, Terry.

mutters · « **Reply #70 on:** July 27, 2005, 05:05:36 PM »

Terry,
Leave these poor pommys alone ,if they get too depressed they could catch a plane and transport themslves HERE.
Now,back to the fridge full of ..... boags strongarm ale ahhh

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #71 on:** August 01, 2005, 11:08:42 PM »

Ok, the second test is about to start off and England has gone to a lot of trouble to field the same bunch of wannabes that Australia whooped so thoroughly a couple of weeks ago, so I guess it's timely to post the following observations that are circulating on this side of the pond, to prepare us all for another exciting (yawn.........) game. Enjoy! Cheers, Terry.

> Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
> A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason
>
> Q. What is the height of optimism?
> A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
>
> Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
> almost always takes a wicket?
> A. A bat.
>
> Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
> A. An allrounder.
>
> Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
> have over the rest of their team-mates?
> A. At least they can say they're not really English.
>
> Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
> A. Three runs in three balls.
>
> Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
> A. A bowler.
>
> Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
> batsmen?
> A. The walk back to the pavilion.
>
> Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
> A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
>
> Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
> A. Because he was born in England.
>
> Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
> A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
>
> Q. What's the English version of LBW?
> A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
>
> Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English
> team?
> A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

SteveD CB500F · « **Reply #72 on:** August 02, 2005, 01:51:06 AM »

We shall see.

I might just merge the three Ashes threads and see if we can head off the old HD thread in the "most replies" section
#1: 57 replies
#2: 12 replies
#3: 1 reply

total 70

HD Identity: 86...

So bashing HD owners is still more popular than bashing Poms.

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #73 on:** August 02, 2005, 04:17:14 AM »

OK Steve, that sounds like a great idea, I believe that the reason that people bash Harley riders is that secretly they want to be Harley riders too.(don't forget that all Harley riders were jap bike riders first, or at least in countries where you have to ride small bikes as a learner etc)

My theory (like most of my theories) falls apart if you use this logic to attempt to determine why Aussies bash Poms, because there's not many of us that want to be Poms! No offence mate, Britain is a beautiful place, and I've got a lot of English friends, but I wouldn't swap places with you, for a shed full of sandcasts! Cheers, Terry.

SteveD CB500F · « **Reply #74 on:** August 02, 2005, 07:38:33 AM »

Right.

So here's the complete set of Anti Pom drivel as served up (mostly) by Terry.

In order to keep in front of the "Gurl Bike", I'll have to post a reply for each run the Aussies score...

News:

Author Topic: Ashes Thread (England vs Oz) (Read 39774 times)