Author Topic: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............  (Read 1255 times)

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Offline Terry in Australia

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Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« on: February 11, 2008, 10:09:16 PM »
Two Aussie Builders

Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.

Phil: - 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.

P hil: - Oh! What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Phil: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden

Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a reg ular basis?

Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Phil: - Me? Never.

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Phil: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.

Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Eric: - What's that then?

Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Eric: - Nope.

Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.  ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline UnCrash

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Re: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2008, 05:03:25 AM »
 ;D Thanks for the chuckle
You can't make too much popcorn, but you can definately eat too much popcorn.

Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2008, 06:36:46 AM »
Wanker. Isn't he the guy that invented the rotary engine? :D
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

Offline tsp37

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Re: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2008, 06:12:37 PM »
The Wanker rotary was used in the Japanese built Mazda LX-7.

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2008, 08:18:57 PM »
Wanker. Isn't he the guy that invented the rotary engine? :D

Nah, "Wankel" invented the rotary engine, and "Wanker" invented the battery operated vibrating vagina.

Both very important inventions mind you, I had an RX2, but I never had a wanking machine...............  ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

troppo

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Re: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2008, 08:20:25 PM »
didnt one of those battery operated vaginas say sorry on TV this morning ;D
(aussie joke lol)

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2008, 08:31:16 PM »
didnt one of those battery operated vaginas say sorry on TV this morning ;D
(aussie joke lol)

Ha ha, Yeah, "Sorry Day" is an interesting proposition, if you think about the situation in the NT where my Army mates are sitting on their bums in the sun stopping the indigenous folk from raping and assaulting each other, and knowing full well that was the reason why a previous government removed indigenous kids from their irresponsible parents 50 years ago, I wonder how long it will be before we are apologising again? The worlds gone mad......................   :P
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Jonesy

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Re: Two Aussie Builders were sitting in a bar.............
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2008, 04:42:02 PM »
Wanker. Isn't he the guy that invented the rotary engine? :D

Nah, "Wankel" invented the rotary engine, and "Wanker" invented the battery operated vibrating vagina.

Both very important inventions mind you, I had an RX2, but I never had a wanking machine...............  ;D

ROFLMAO!!!!!
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen