Lets face it bikes are bad news, they cost more than you expect, they break down all over, they can never be relied upon, they can only carry 2 in discomfort at best, they are seen as a target by all those road rage crazies out there. They will drain your bank account, drive away your friends, get your wife to leave you (takeing the kids and probably the dog too) your neighbours will apply to the courts to have you restrained and after all that they will probably try and kill you.
So save yourselves, send all unwanted bikes/parts/manuals/workshop tools etc to me in a plain brown wrapper marked 'hazardous goods' and I will have them disposed of at no expence to yourselves. All cash donations to help support my charitable works will be taken to the pub and exchanged for a warm brown frothy liquid ( This is what we are forced to drink here in the UK).