Topic: The tomato garden

[nickjtc]

An old man about 80 years old lived alone in Winnipeg. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Walter, who used to help him, was in prison in Prince Albert,Saskatchewan. 
 
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
 
Dear Walter,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
 
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
 
Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Walter
 
At 4 a.m. the next morning, RCMP and local Winnipeg police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
 
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
 
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
 
Love you, Walter

[Ecosse]

 

Another good one nickjtc!

[troppo]

hehehehehehehe

[azuredesign]

Beautiful!!

[Jonesy]

Another tomato garden joke:

Two neighbors have lots that adjoin along the back ends. Each had a garden at the back of the lot, so the man that owned one house frequently chatted with the woman that owned the other house. Since they were both into gardening, they would often swap gardening tips and comment on how each other's gardens were doing.

One day while they were out watering the plants, the woman commented on how large and red the tomatoes were in her neighbor's garden. When she asked how he always managed to grow such beautiful tomatoes, he said, "Well.. I feel a bit silly telling you this, but I flash them!" "Are you serious?" She asked. "Yes.. Every morning right at dawn I sneak out to the garden in my bathrobe, check to make sure no one is looking, and I give them a quick flash. After a week, they turn a nice shade of red. You should try it. I guarantee it will work."

The woman was skeptical, but early the next morning she tiptoed outside in her robe and after making sure no one was watching, she gave her garden a quick flash. She did this every morning for the next two weeks, but her tomatoes never turned red.

When she saw the neighbor out watering his garden the following week she confronted him. "You sick pervert!" she said. "You told me to flash my tomatoes in order to get them to ripen and after two weeks it hasn't worked. You were probably telling me this just so you could spy on me from your window!"

The man was genuinely baffled. "I don't get it.. that's always worked for me. Have you noticed ANY changes at all in your garden?"














After thinking about it for a couple minutes, she replied, "Well, come to think of it, my cucumbers have grown another foot or so..."