Topic: my mortality (long long rambling, sometimes maudlin)

[fuzzybutt]

today 2 things happened that really reminded me of just how fragile we as human beings really are. went to the neurosurgeon after mri and cat scan (yes i've lost enough weight now that i can get a closed mri) and the doc told me that the day i got thrown from the horse and broke my neck, the way c-5 vertabra fractured 999 out of 1000 times it happens that way the spinal cord is severed, my ass should have died that day. really got me realizing that maybe all the petty bull#$%* happening in my life right now is just dumb stuff i shouldnt even think about, i should thanbk the good lord that i am here and alive and breathing instead of a box of ashes scattered over a field or a damn vegetable. then i got a call this evening that my uncle Tony died today. he was my moms last surviving brother and really, the last living link to my mom. uncle Tony would do anything  at all for you, he was such a great, gentle man that wouldnt hurt a fly and he'd give you the shirt off his back. as a kid i never thought about the fact that the people i love would no longer be there for me one day. i've been so caught up in my now seemingly petty problems lately that i've lost touch with the people i love. i'd not spoken to my uncle in a couple of months and now i'll never get a chance to tell him just what he meant to me. so people, even with the sometimes dumbassed arguments we have here, and animosity from time to time, let me tell you all that even though i've never met most of you face to face, you all are really the only family i have left and i care for each and every one of you. be happy, healthy and appreciate the family and friends you have because one day they will not be there.

[oldbiker]

Hey Fuzzy, go out and get laid! You are plainly depressed. It's always sad to lose someone but life goes on. You are much to young to feel like this.
I agree with you that we are like a family so just remember you are not alone.

[333]

Not so long.  And so very true.  I wish it were that easy for Bill440cars.

[Caaveman82]

I am sorry for your loss friend. You are absolutely right that we should ALL be greatful for our life, even those of us who have not had narrow escapes wit death. The only thing I, as a sufferer of manic depression since I was five, can tell you is don't dwell on it too long. There is a large difference in being thankful for life and the opertunity to wake up and live another day and dwelling on the past i.e. almost dieing in a horse accident. That will only make you live your life in fear. I am glad your still here. You and your fuzzy butt. Take a deep breath and enjoy your life man. It'll do you right eventually.

[medic09]

I dunno, Fuzz, you don't sound depressed to me.  Sounds like you've been confronted with some of the mature realizations that many of us ignore or run from.  I think you're doing well to realize that there are scaled values, and some things are more important than others; and some just really don't matter.  And the things that really do matter are worthy of attention.

Now that all that has sunk in, go out and celebrate your blessings that you're here with an untold future ahead of you!

[Frankenkit]

I had a realization like that, (different circumstances) a couple years ago... it was one of the best things that happened to me.  (The realization, not the incident...) but it means a lot to you.  and Fuzz, even though I don't post often, I look forward to what you have to say.  I enjoy reading your posts on here when I can be here, and y'know what, as soon as it's after noon here decent, I'm going to raise a beer to you.     Cheers, Fuzz!

[Rocking-M]

Here ya go Fuzz, it's where I'm at too!

[azuredesign]

Here ya go Fuzz, it's where I'm at too!

I like it, but what does it mean?!!

[Sam Green Racing]

When I clicked on the video it said it was no longer available

[tramp]

OK, so it's philosophy time so here we go
if you don't live your life to the fullest, silly you
if you haven't seen someone in a while and now thier gone and you feel you should have seen them sooner
sorry it's too late for them, don't let it happen to someone else you know
your time on earth is brief, do the best you can with what ya got and never look back
except for good memories
just my two cents
when i enter the pearly gates it will be in a old beat up rusty chevy with the wheels about to fall off the motor siezed and the door falling off as i get out
i'll walk up to st. peter shake his hand and say "damn, that was one hell of a ride, can i do it again?"

[Rocking-M]

oops right band wrong vid

here!!!

[Sam Green Racing]

It still says it's no longer available

Sam.

[andy750]

I think the first vid was much more meaningful  That said it all to me....like getting cracked over the head with a sledgehammer.

cheers
Andy

[Rocking-M]

I think the first vid was much more meaningful  That said it all to me....like getting cracked over the head with a sledgehammer.

cheers
Andy

 

I think the British sensors have locked Sam out.

[Ecosse]

Hey Fuzz, when my grandmother passed away something I took from the loss was a lesson in priority.  There are those things that matter... and then everything else way down on the list; events like this can and should be life affirming.  I mourned her death but decided that if she was looking down on me she wouldn't want me to wallow for too long so I thought the best way to honor her was to try and not let all her hard work in raising me go to waste. I still think of her nearly every day but I dry not to dwell. She'd have none of that.

It was a liberating experience and the last of the countless gifts my gramma gave to me.

I think medic09 hit it right on the nail.




OK, enough deepness... gotta absorb some Three Stooges or something.



 

[kach_me]

+1 to medic's comments.

You sound like you're having a normal reaction to the loss of family member.  If anything, the rest of us should be reading this and reflecting on who is important to us in our lives... then get off our collective asses and go spend time with that person. 

Back in school (years ago), I got the assignment to speak about just such a person in my own life.  My step-father was that person and I realized that he is more of a father to me than the real one.  At first I needed him for things, tasks... helping me fix this, that, and the other (house, car, motorcyle, etc).  He's an all around handy guy.  Now I ask him to help me out just to have him around.  He enjoys the task and I enjoy the time. 

+1 to oldbiker on the getting laid part too, but don't hurt yourself...

hmmm, maybe a bj is in order from the wife or gf.  Can you play the sympathy card?  It's worth a try. 

[UnCrash]

All I can say as I raise my freshly poured pint is:

"Long Live Fuzzybut!"

[Demon67]

Hey Fuzzer got any Celt in your background? Seems that people that do, have a streak of melancholy in them. At least all the ones that I've known over the years. You will get over it.
Bill the demon.

[Uncle Ernie]

A couple of cannibals are sitting around the camp fire having scored a circus clown.  One finally pulls a chunk off and muches a bit, looks off in the distance for a moment, then back to his comrade and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"








sorry- nothing deep here.  One day at a time, Pal.  He brought you this far, He's not going to leave you now.

[Caaveman82]

While we are on the subject of melancholy, I recently picked up a book called "Lincoln's Melancholy"

It's actually a really good read and it kind of shows a side of him we have never heard before. Everyone used to portray him as this big bold hero. He was but not like a super hero. He was often found crying in public and had at least three very large scale break downs.

[Ecosse]

While we are on the subject of melancholy, I recently picked up a book called "Lincoln's Melancholy"

It's actually a really good read and it kind of shows a side of him we have never heard before. Everyone used to portray him as this big bold hero. He was but not like a super hero. He was often found crying in public and had at least three very large scale break downs.

I've heard that about him. Winston Churchill was another great figure dogged by that dark cloud- accomplished artist and author too. Maybe it speaks to the fragility of great minds? I'll buy that.

[Uncle Ernie]

That's strangly reassuring.   I'm constantly in tears.

[fuzzybutt]

i've actually been under treatment for depression since 1994, i've finally found a med regime that works pretty good and just as important, i can afford it too. 99% of the time i'm on a pretty even keel. it's just when something really unexpected (like the death of a family member) comes along that things get a little wobbly. I'd never do something dumbassed like do myself in, i just get extra bummed out and i tend to get really introspective. i think the one benefit of the depression and treatments for it, i've really gotten a much better sense of humour (i can and sometimes have the need to joke about my condition) and i can really laugh at myself more now. oh and yes, i'm half scot, half sicilian. hows that for a combination. sort of like a chihuahua and poweranian mix lol.

[BobbyR]

That's strangly reassuring.   I'm constantly in tears.

Tears cloud your vision. People who suffer from a managable level of depression think and act differrntly then those that don't. The right type of depressive does things to make them feel good about themselves, so they find new and different ways of doing things. They have a need to accomplish.
The wrong type of depressive lives in despair and locks themselves in the garage and starts the motor. I know someone who tried that, and with the new low emission vehicles it took so long they gave up out of boredom.
They are doing fine now.

[BobbyR]

i'm half scot, half sicilian. hows that for a combination. sort of like a chihuahua and poweranian mix lol.

Now that is a scary combination. I am Italian and German. The Italian part gets pissed quick, the German part waits to get even. Scot and Sicilian must be a trip. 

[fuzzybutt]

lol yeah, both sides have temper issues. i seem to have the bizarre sense of humour that so many scots i know have. I also have a good head for revenge, like so many sicilians. wanna know where to get the best Caciocavallo Silano or how to wield a claymore i'm your man

[Ecosse]

Half Scot, quarter German, quarter French. The German wants to dominate my French side, my Scot side wants to paint my face blue, pretend I'm an Aussie pretending to be a Scot and kick both of their asses for denying me my freedom and the French in me thinks I'm utterly uncultured swine.



Good insight BobbyR.