Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner."
Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You fookin' bastard!!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, "Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?"
Paddy, at the back of the court, stood up and responded, "For fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard. And every time I asked to borrow a fookin' spanner, he said he didn't have one!"
