Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
> fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
>
> Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
> ______________________________________________
>
> Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,
>
> I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
>
> I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
>
> to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
>
> with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
>
> where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and
>
> break wind, as a form of holy communion.
> _______________________________________________
>
> Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
>
> to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and
>
> moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so
>
> for you, this is no problem.
> _______________________________________________
>
> Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
>
> groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be
>
> expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I
>
> know, these are the same thing.
> _______________________________________________
>
> Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
>
> working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
>
> this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person
>
> gets here and has to put it back together.
> _______________________________________________
> Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
>
> control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
>
> misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though
>
> one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
>
> ( applies to engineers mainly).
> _______________________________________________
> Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
>
> thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
>
> sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when
>
> you ask, so don't ask.
> _______________________________________________
> Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
>
> have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
>
> calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever
>
> you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
>
> And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
> _______________________________________________
>
> Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
>
> movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't
>
> ...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will
>
> certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to
>
> others.
> _______________________________________________
>
> Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
>
> thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
>
> too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,
>
> looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go
>
> now?
> _______________________________________________
> Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I
>
> will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
>
> the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
>
> and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden
>
> with a beer wondering what to do.
>
> This has been a public service message for women to
>
> better understand men
