Author Topic: Beer Poetry  (Read 2030 times)

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Markcb750

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Beer Poetry
« on: January 20, 2009, 02:21:03 PM »
He sits upon the coral strand,
so full of ale he cannot stand.
He's emptied the wreck
of its dark oak kegs,
carried them ashore on nerveless legs,
But he waves not at ships however near,
This old sailor won't share his beer.




Robert Louis Hornblower

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2009, 02:51:08 PM »
 How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways?
I love cold beer
   on hot summer days.
I love small bottles
    Of special brews.
I love a beer
When watching the news.
I love it dark
I love it bright
I love it at mid-day
I love it at night.
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love it best
When somebody else pays.

Ricky S.
Seattle

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2009, 03:10:00 PM »

Fifteen pints of Carling
Has a rather dramatic effect
The night you planned turns out to be
Not what you'd expect

Wishing for your dream girl
To walk into the bar
She didn't come, so what the hell
Let's have another jar

Tomorrow is another day
There's no point in complaining
Can't get any worse
At least it isn't raining

You drink cos you remember
You're drinking to forget
You're thinking of the one you lost
And the one that you ain't met

Who gives a damn
Who gives a toss
Life's a #$%*, so go for it
Total memory loss

John. R

Offline Ecosse

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2009, 10:52:12 AM »
 ;D Never liked poetry 'til just now.
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Offline my78k

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2009, 11:58:46 AM »
"99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer...."

Anonymous

Dennis

eldar

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2009, 01:05:17 PM »
Our lager,
    >Which art in barrels,
    >Hallowed be thy drink,
    >Thy will be drunk,
    >(I will be drunk),
    >At home as I am in the tavern.
    >Give us this day our foamy head,
    >And forgive us our spillages,
    >As we forgive those who spill against us,
    >and lead us not to incarceration,
    >But deliver us from hangovers,
    >For thine is the beer,
    >The bitter and the lager,
    >Forever and ever,
    >Barmen.

Offline cafe750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2009, 01:11:30 PM »
Our lager,
    >Which art in barrels,
    >Hallowed be thy drink,
    >Thy will be drunk,
    >(I will be drunk),
    >At home as I am in the tavern.
    >Give us this day our foamy head,
    >And forgive us our spillages,
    >As we forgive those who spill against us,
    >and lead us not to incarceration,
    >But deliver us from hangovers,
    >For thine is the beer,
    >The bitter and the lager,
    >Forever and ever,
    >Barmen.

I have that T-shirt!
"It's an old motorcycle, the wind is supposed to blow your head around, it's supposed to leak oil, the brakes should suck, and every now and then, it should scare you so bad you piss your pants."



Roy, Washington

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2009, 01:15:18 PM »
How about some one liners

Rodney Dangerfield
"My doctor told me to watch my drinking.
Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I
drink too much, way too much; when my doctor
drew blood he ran a tab!"



Henny Youngman
"When I read about the evils of drinking
beer, I gave up reading."

Offline Ecosse

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2009, 01:27:31 PM »
you guys are killing me!!  ;D ;D

makes me long for the days when i was a drunk barreling my '75 monte carlo down side walks and cutting through people's side yard on my way home from the bar.

not really.
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Offline 333

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2009, 03:28:29 PM »
A challenge for you Simpsons fans;  Didn't Homer wax poetic on this subject?
Go metric, every inch of the way!

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Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #10 on: January 21, 2009, 03:43:23 PM »
Back on topic.

The Beer Muse



HERE,
With my beer
I sit,
While golden moments flit:
Alas!
They pass
Unheeded by:
And, as they fly,
I,
Being dry,
Sit, idly sipping here
My beer.

O, finer far
Than fame, or riches, are
The graceful smoke-wreathes of this cigar!
Why
Should I
Weep, wail, or sigh?
What if luck has passed me by?
What if my hopes are dead,--
My pleasures fled?
Have I not still
My fill
Of right good cheer,--
Cigars and beer

George Arnold

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2009, 04:54:54 AM »
Kevin Fiish

There once was a man who did not have a fear
when he sat down and drank a six pack of beer
his belly did bloat, his weight it did rise
but the beer gave the feeling of being so wise

The thought of it cooling, so frosted and near
in the mug it sits so golden that beer
the taste is so good never bitter or queer
bringing always a laugh and never a tear

Many a time in that room full of cheer
a wrong emotion did come from that beer
it was never right to hold it so dear
replacing importance with just another cold beer

Offline Ecosse

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2009, 10:37:08 AM »
This seriously is better than the tripe read by the poet at Obama's inauguration; my sister who is well read and brainy and all and loves poetry didn't like her either. Guess she is a friend of the Prez. That's cool. But imagine one of these gems being recited?!

Keep 'em coming!
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Offline Jonesy

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2009, 06:31:29 PM »
The chorus from the pub song "A Pub With No Beer"

There's nothing so lonesome,
so dull and so drear,
than to stand at the bar
of a pub with no beer!
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline Grumpol

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2009, 06:40:57 PM »
The chorus from the pub song "A Pub With No Beer"

There's nothing so lonesome,
so dull and so drear,
than to stand at the bar
of a pub with no beer!

Well the original as written by Gordon Parsons and sung by Slim Dusty is  a little different in the chorus (pedantic i know but this song is an aussie tradition)

Chorus:
Well it's lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the camp fire at night,
Where the wild dingos call.
But there's nothin' so lonesome
morbid or drear,
than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer.

Now the publican's anxious for the quota to come
and there's a far away look on the face of the bum
the maids got all cranky and
and the cooks acting queer
what a terrible place, is a pub with no beer.

Then the stockman rides up with his dry dusty throat
He presses up to the bar and pulls a wad from his coat.
But the smile on his face quickly turns to a snear
As the barman says sadly,
"The pubs got no beer."

Then the swaggy comes in smoothered in dust and flies
He throws down his roll and rubs the sweat from his eyes
But when he is told he says "what's this I hear"
I've trudged fifty flamin' miles
To a pub with no beer

Now there's a dog on the veranda for his master he waits
But the boss is inside drinkin' wine with his mates.
He hurries for cover and he cringes with fear
It's no place for a dog,
Round a pub with no beer.

And old Billie the Blacksmith, the first time in his life
Why he's gone home cold sober to his darling wife
He walks in the kitchen she says your early Bill dear
But then he breaks down and he tells her
The pub's got no beer.

Well its hard to believe that there's customers still
But the money's still tinkling in the old ancient til
The wine dots are happy and I know they're sincere
When they say they don't care if the pubs got no beer

So it's a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the camp fire at night,
Where the wild dingos call.
But there's nothin' so lonesome
morbid or drear,
than to stand in the bar of that pub with no beer.


The dropkick murphies did a cover version too i believe, i know theres a few fans of them in here

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2009, 02:13:08 PM »


Our work day's done.
Go grab a shower!
Let's hit the pub.
It's Happy Hour.

If we get bombed.
Who gives a damn?
I'm not as drunk,
As you think I am.

Those chicks right there
don't look to good,
but three more beers...
I think I would!

Rodney Carrington

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #16 on: January 28, 2009, 07:16:38 PM »
One Too Many

Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the hell you are I think,

I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.

I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'm just a little slort of sheep.

Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don't know why

Rally don't know who's me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
 
So just one more to full my cup,
I've all day sober to Sunday up.


Joe Raint

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2009, 04:00:07 PM »
Filled with mingled cream and amber
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chambers of my brain
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away;
Who cares how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.

                    Edgar Allen Poe

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #18 on: January 31, 2009, 11:04:00 AM »
Well, kinda poetry.  ::)

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2009, 05:10:44 PM »
DOUGH... the stuff, that buys me beer

RAY..... the guy that sells me beer

ME...... the one, who drinks the beer

FAR..... a long run to get beer

SO...... I'll have another beer

LA...... La la la la la  beer

TEA...... no thanks, I'm drinking beer

That will leave me with no DOUGH.....


                                  M.Beam

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #20 on: February 05, 2009, 05:03:46 PM »
Not drunk is he who from the floor
Can rise alone and still drink more;

But drunk is he who prostrate lies
Without the power to move or rise.

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #21 on: February 13, 2009, 02:07:42 PM »
To Girls Who Don't Drink Beer

She walked into my bar
As if she owned the place
She moved with a rhythm
and oozed certain grace
I knew she was it
What I needed to live
I was all finished taking
And ready to give
So I called over Jeff
and asked what he knew
But he was all out of info
So I orderd 2 brews
I approached her with caution
and a pint of cold beer
My intentions were honest
my heart was sincere
I asked her please sit
and drink this with me
she said "I don't drink beer"
I'll take a long island Iced Tea
I sat there in shock
I didn't know what to do
So I ordered her one
While I drank the two
And the sweat on the glass
fell just like my tear
cause there is no room in my heart
for girls that don't drink beer

Markcb750

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2009, 01:21:53 PM »
Here's the reason why

The horse and mule live thirty years
And never know of wine and beers.

The goat and sheep at twenty die
Without a taste of scotch or rye.

The cow drinks water by the ton
And at eighteen is mostly done.

The dog at fifteen cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin.

The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for noggs and dies at ten.

But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men
Survive three-score years and ten.

And some of us, though mighty few
Stay pickled 'til we're ninety-two.


 Charles Duffy

Offline Tim in Ohio

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Re: Beer Poetry
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2009, 01:50:29 PM »
One Too Many

Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the hell you are I think,

I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.

I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'm just a little slort of sheep.

Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don't know why

Rally don't know who's me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
 
So just one more to full my cup,
I've all day sober to Sunday up.


Joe Raint

I'll drink to that.  ;)
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