Topic: you talk over me I'LL TALK OVER YOU

[heffay]

I was just wondering if, in this new hi-tech, over-saturated, over-populated age, anyone else is feeling the same way I do.

Lately, people try to talk over everyone.  I'm not speaking of this forum at all... only everyday, real life conversations.  People that would never raise their voice are now raising their voices to be heard... I mean that figuratively and literally.  Everyone wants a piece of the pie, but the thing is, they want the whole pie too! 

At least, that's my take on people talking louder just to be the one heard over another... but then, there are the ones that just continue to talk
and talk
and talk
it doesn't matter if the conversation has moved on... they'll talk right thru the conversation... whether another person or multiple others are talking.

At this point... I find myself doing the exact same thing... is it a human trait?  Is it bad?  I know that I don't like it.  But, with billions of people in the world, and that number growing at an exponential rate... how and at what decibel will it level off or abruptly end?

Are we all that important?

[upperlake04]

 It's not like that here Hef 

[heffay]

not here either (in my house)... for the most part.

i'm a hermit.  i answer the door for very few, much less the phone.  but when i do... i feel bombarded and the urge to compete.

[fuzzybutt]

it's certainly like that here. i just dont talk to people anymore. cats are better than people for the most part anyways 

[Slayer]

Wow crazy cat lady? haha j/k. In Southern CA you are lucky to get a word in without being ignored. It seems like instead of listening, people just think about what they want to say next. By the time I have finished putting in my 2 cents the subject has changed to everyone else. All of this leads to petty small talk... Thanks for listening (now go ahead and reply with your best ignore comment haha!)

[Caaveman82]

I was just wondering if, in this new hi-tech, over-saturated, over-populated age, anyone else is feeling the same way I do.

Yes.

Lately, people try to talk over everyone.  I'm not speaking of this forum at all... only everyday, real life conversations.  People that would never raise their voice are now raising their voices to be heard... I mean that figuratively and literally.  Everyone wants a piece of the pie, but the thing is, they want the whole pie too! 

If I had to take a stab in the dark I would say that this is a combination of a few things.

First is the way you are raised. More and more it is becoming not really acceptable but less frowned apon to argue and fight with someone. Yelling almost always gets involved. This happens a lot now between parents infront of children. So they grow up with the impression that it's okay to yell or raise your voice to make your point known. Secondly, people's self serving attitude. This also goes back to the whole being raised thing. (Before anyone decides to get offended or start blasting me for all this I want to add I am not saying this is fact or an absolute, just a theory, and my opinion) I have not met one kid under the age of 16 with any kind of sense of community or even family. They act like a pack of lone wolves roaming the streets like they have to fend for themselves, the sad thing is usually they do.

At this point... I find myself doing the exact same thing... is it a human trait?  Is it bad?  I know that I don't like it.  But, with billions of people in the world, and that number growing at an exponential rate... how and at what decibel will it level off or abruptly end?

If you don't like it, stop doing it. Don't tell me you can't either. Your behavior is 100% within your control. Even if you were raised like crap. I am not going to go into extreme detail but I had a crappy childhood and I am a functioning member of society. I live by the golden rule, I pay my taxes, I've got a job, I don't steal, and I sure as $h!t don't yell at people.

If nothing else man therapy can help you calm down. I know this from experience. It's good if you can find one that let's you swear. I just go in and vent and she nods and listens and then gives some suggestions and I always leave feeling like a new man.

Are we all that important?

No were not, but when has that ever stopped anyone?

[Frankenkit]

it was always like that at my parents' house, except for my dad.  Mom, sis and I were all trying to talk over each other. 

It was a tough habit to break when I left home... but I still lapse into it when I'm mad or stressed.

I tend to think 6.6+ billion people is too many, but when will people stop "multiplying and being fruitful"? It feels like everywhere I look on TV or in ads or what-have-you, people are bombarded with "Babies! Babies everywhere! YOU MUST HAVE ONE!"
...Pass.  Beyond the anatomical ramifications (just look up some of those diagrams... they're terrifying) I'm doing my part and making up for half of the octuplet queen's brood.

[gerhed]

I often get up at 3 in the morning--go downstairs--fix coffee--and sit
for an hour or two in complete darkness and silence.
The highlight of my day !

[Uncle Ernie]

I agree, in part, with the "too many people" thing.  The more crowded things get, the more people feel isolated.  I went to the mall and watched groups of kids;  every one of them is on the phone somewhere else.  People are constantly texting and twittering.  Floating out to sea in a little dinghy and throwing out little threads hoping that someone will grab an end and tug.

I don't talk to these people.  They don't talk to me.  When YOU talk, I listen.  When I talk to you and you don't listen, eventually I'll just give up.  I'm self-agrandized enough to think maybe that's YOUR loss, but...

Maybe not.

It's a very rare occasion when I don't ride by myself.  There're a lot of things to listen to.  Be a part of the solution.

Do you feel like I heard you?

[cb650]

We have one of these at work.  No matter how much sh1t hes is shoveling your suppost to believe it morE CAUSE HE SAYS IT AND NO DEBATE.  I am so tired of it I go clean the toilet insted of listening.
 One of my ex g/f's used to talk over me so I would just shut up and not say a word. Also she come home and start #$%*ING ABOUT WORK. I would get up and sit in the other side of the room and when she asked "why did you move?" I'd tell her i can hear pleanty good here.

[74cb750]

I really do not believe this has anything to do with overpopulation! Come on , there are many places to go fro privacy.

[tramp]

people are getting scared out there
they need to have thier point heard
the only way is to have the last say in a conversation

[eldar]

What are you all talking about, I wasn't paying attention. That is how I deal with it. I have developed a very good ability to ignore people. Comes from having a step-father dick that only knows how to yell.

[heffay]

thanks for the help and input, guys... keep it comin'

If you don't like it, stop doing it. Don't tell me you can't either. Your behavior is 100% within your control.

yes, it is... but that doesn't mean that I don't feel drawn in to act in similar ways... but yes, i do my best to steer away from it.

I really do not believe this has anything to do with overpopulation! Come on , there are many places to go fro privacy.

i think it does have something to do with it... but we live in different parts of the world... although, there are many other factors that have much more impact on what we're talking about, i think.  the thing is... i'm not asking for privacy... i have plenty of that.  what i would like, is to go outside of my house and have everyday conversations where i don't feel like i'm competing.

i know it will probably never happen... but i'd like to think it could.

[alltherightpills]

I think a lot of it has to do with the media.  Look at any of the "debates" on any, and I mean any, of the cable news stations and this is what you will see.  They don't follow formal rules of debate, they just try to yell louder than the other person.  In what world is this acceptable behavior?  Look at shows like Pardon the Interruption.  First off, can anyone think of something  less consequential than a punch of pricks sitting around arguing about sports?  This show is exactly like the cable news debates.  Everyone yelling so that they can be heard, while nothing of substance is being put forth. 

I know I'm a luddite, and I make no bones about that fact.  I don't have a blog, because I don't assume I'm interesting enough to justify putting every single mundane event of my life out for everyone to see.  I don't have a facebook, myspace, etc. page because I like being able to google myself and only seeing three or four links.  I don't have a TV, I don't have a land-line.  I only have a cellphone and I screen calls religiously. 

I think it's a result of a myriad of different things.  Part of it is generational, part of it is cultural or societal, part of it is upbringing, part of it is personality.

[Caaveman82]

Blame El Nino.

If you don't like it, stop doing it. Don't tell me you can't either. Your behavior is 100% within your control.

yes, it is... but that doesn't mean that I don't feel drawn in to act in similar ways... but yes, i do my best to steer away from it.

That's all you gotta do man. Just keep an eye on yourself. Try to catch yourself in the act. Some form of punishment, much like a swear jar might be useful. Put a dollar in the jar every time you catch yourself doing it. Best way I have found to break stupid habbits.

I used to chew my finger nails off. It was gross and I needed to stop so I did that, after about $100 I quit doing it. Now they are all long and filled with dirt, not much better but you get the point I am sure.

[TwoTired]

I really do not believe this has anything to do with overpopulation! Come on, there are many places to go fro privacy.

You are right, we still have open spaces.  But, few use them, which kinda is what makes them open spaces.   
Its about population density, loosely related to the overall population.  I think it is related to the "voice in a crowd" syndrome.  To be heard, you shout.  I'm not sure if people get any training on how to listen anymore.

Don't estimate physiological effects, though.  Being in a loud environment makes your hearing insensitive.  You have to speak louder to hear your self.  Loud ear buds, the deep thumping bass, etc., it all fatigues your hearing sensitivity.  You may not even notice you are talking louder.

This is not to be confused with speech interruption behavior, which I find very rude.  I then assume the speaker/interrupter has an overdeveloped sense of self importance.  Where possible, I let such individuals talk amongst themselves.

Cheers,

[tsflstb]

TT, Yogi Berra said it best.  "Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded"

I think the worst offender I've ever seen is that one lady on the McLaughlin Group.  Can't remember her name, but she screeches her point across whether it applies to the debate or not.  I still watch the show when I can because the old guy is nuts.

[Demon67]

I think it has to do with an over all dumbing down of reasonable discourse, in a time well before mine, people tried to be witty and intelligent when speaking but lately with all the babeling at a high volume there is no time to make a witty response, no one will hear it, probably due to the fact that we're bombarded with commercials on TV that seem to be screaming at us, take a moment and listen to them, not for content but for volume if your regular program is at an reasonable level as soon as an ad comes on the Db goes up, the picture gets brighter and the color heightens in effect shouting at you to look at me, so now everyone thinks that they have to be louder to be heard.
Bill the demon.

[HavocTurbo]

I find that in a crowd of people, even people I do not know, the less I say, the more they want my opinion.

When I do finally speak up, I am very concise and to the point. Albiet blunt at times.

When I am confronted with people trying to talk over me, I stop. Wait for them to finish, then repeat my short answer.

All the while they continue to find words to put it in a different light, I use repetition.

Works everytime.

[Caaveman82]

I'm pretty much with Two Tired, or as BobbyR said in another thread, ignore the ignorant.

Just make the choice to not participate.

If you have enough people walk away from you because your yelling you are bound to figure it out eventually or have no one to talk to, either way YOU are the winner for walking off.

[Jonesy]

it's certainly like that here. i just dont talk to people anymore. cats are better than people for the most part anyways 

My cat just meows louder. So, I don't think it's only a human condition. I have to keep telling my cat not to yell at me and that I "don't speak cat".... 

[Industrial Cafe]

I've tried to talk to the people in this dumb hick town i live in....
all they wanna talk about is what someone else did, and how pissed off they are about it.
or taz... or tweety.
I don't care about that #$%*.

I wanna talk about bikes or ratrods... girls, or expensive audio equipment. anything!

so I just don't talk to anyone unless they're transplanted to this hell hole.

[gerhed]

I wanna talk about bikes or ratrods... girls, or expensive audio equipment. anything!

Industrial,

I'm with you on that--where are the people who want to talk about the good stuff !?

grhd

[shacolaid]

I know that I am guilty of not listening at times and then speaking before the person I am listening to is finished. I make a conscious effort to listen and if I have nothing to say, then I do not.

For me it goes like this, at this time I have nothing to contribute over on the build forums because I am just beginning my build and my knowledge is still pretty limited. So instead, I have begun posting here just to be a member of the community, which I enjoy.

How does the saying go, people may think you are stupid if you do not say anything, but why open your mouth and remove all doubt?