Dude, you're a wet blanket.
Or you're growing up a little? Ever see guys who have a hard time finding Vitalis these days?
I ride alone 99.5% of the time, but I guess you felt those guys were like family? You want to spread your wings some, they live in an arbitrarily constructed paradigm and feel betrayed. Your leaving makes them try to ignore the fact that they know deep down that it's all a personal movie and they make the story line up as they go.
To quote a really schmalzie guy; "The pain you feel is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding".
It's lonely at the top, but you'll feel dirty if you betray your beliefs and values.