Author Topic: to the guy who tried to mug me............................ (Read 3367 times)

fuzzybutt · « **on:** May 30, 2009, 06:23:18 PM »

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
Downtown Eugene night before last.

Date: 2009-04-23, 6:43 AM EST

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my wife Jane.
You also asked for my wife's purse and earrings.

I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to #$%* and piss in your pants when I drew my pistol after

you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.

You see, my WIFE had
just bought me that Springfield Model 1911 -A1 .45 ACP pistol for MY BIRTHDAY,
and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening..
Beautiful pistol, eh?

It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown BLOB
flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you
also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I
couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try
to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"
as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your
situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas
station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy
with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Eugene Mission, along with all of the cash in your wallet.

I threw the wallet
in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the
windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a
bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll be on your
bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down
the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so
I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't
permanently cut off your service.

I could only get in two threatening
phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy
was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky..

scunny · « **Reply #1 on:** May 30, 2009, 06:33:29 PM »

hahaha. well done

rhos1355 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 31, 2009, 03:46:13 AM »

What a load of bollocks.
You seem to be the only person on this forum that encounters dodgy characters every other day or post.
First it was a stalker
Then someone's tried to mug you
You're just looking for an excuse to use your little pistol.

HavocTurbo · « **Reply #3 on:** May 31, 2009, 10:18:42 AM »

Quote from: rhos1355 on May 31, 2009, 03:46:13 AM

What a load of bollocks.
You seem to be the only person on this forum that encounters dodgy characters every other day or post.
First it was a stalker
Then someone's tried to mug you
You're just looking for an excuse to use your little pistol.

ROFL.....

cleveland · « **Reply #4 on:** May 31, 2009, 02:06:35 PM »

Quote from: rhos1355 on May 31, 2009, 03:46:13 AM

You're just looking for an excuse to use your little pistol.

Meh.......I'd say a .45 is a medium size pistol.

fuzzybutt · « **Reply #5 on:** May 31, 2009, 04:16:03 PM »

DUMBASS! what part of #$%*ing HUMOUR dont you get? #$%*ing #$%*. think BEFORE you type you stupid GIT

Frankencake · « **Reply #6 on:** May 31, 2009, 04:45:29 PM »

Quote from: rhos1355 on May 31, 2009, 03:46:13 AM

What a load of bollocks.
You seem to be the only person on this forum that encounters dodgy characters every other day or post.
First it was a stalker
Then someone's tried to mug you
You're just looking for an excuse to use your little pistol.

Don't be angry because our government had the foresight to write a clause in to our constitution to keep an ace up the sleeve of the people. How's all of that video surveillance of the public working for you over there? Remember, remember the 5th of November.

cb650 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 31, 2009, 04:52:11 PM »

This joke was cool when my dad sent it to me a couple years ago. Even better know as it's sparked the "EVIL GUN" debate.

cleveland · « **Reply #8 on:** May 31, 2009, 07:05:21 PM »

What is a GIT?

Hush · « **Reply #9 on:** May 31, 2009, 07:23:11 PM »

Git=dumbass, usually used in the sentence "silly old git".

HavocTurbo · « **Reply #10 on:** May 31, 2009, 09:32:20 PM »

Quote from: rhos1355 on May 31, 2009, 03:46:13 AM

What a load of bollocks.
You seem to be the only person on this forum that encounters dodgy characters every other day or post.
First it was a stalker
Then someone's tried to mug you
You're just looking for an excuse to use your little pistol.

Were you being serious?

rhos1355 · « **Reply #11 on:** June 01, 2009, 12:24:51 AM »

Quote from: fuzzybutt on May 31, 2009, 04:16:03 PM

DUMBASS! what part of #$%*ing HUMOUR dont you get? #$%*ing #$%*. think BEFORE you type you stupid GIT

Temper, Temper.

Just proves that the written word is waaayyyy more powerful than a gun.

Inigo Montoya · « **Reply #12 on:** June 01, 2009, 06:37:46 AM »

Or that brits have lousy humor ability. Notice the lack of the un-necessary U!

Frankencake · « **Reply #13 on:** June 01, 2009, 07:24:06 AM »

Are we re-kindling the American revolution? I already have reservations in a cabin at Valley Forge.

cleveland · « **Reply #14 on:** June 01, 2009, 07:25:13 AM »

LOL!!! Vermont has the best gun laws in the union.........I could see why it's worth fighting for.

Inigo Montoya · « **Reply #15 on:** June 01, 2009, 07:36:16 AM »

I hear new hampshire is right on par in that respect.

Soos · « **Reply #16 on:** June 01, 2009, 07:51:16 AM »

Ok, what happened to fuzzybutt??

Did you guys harass him until he left???

Either way, Head up, wheels down, balls out. Peace and grease Fuzzybutt!!!

l8r

Bob Wessner · « **Reply #17 on:** June 01, 2009, 08:33:47 AM »

He (fuzzybutt) deleted his account.

Frankencake · « **Reply #18 on:** June 01, 2009, 11:02:29 AM »

I'll miss his input here.

sangyo soichiro · « **Reply #19 on:** June 01, 2009, 11:25:08 AM »

Quote from: Bob Wessner on June 01, 2009, 08:33:47 AM

He (fuzzybutt) deleted his account.

I hope it wasn't because he was traumatized from being mugged....

Come back Fuzz.

333 · « **Reply #20 on:** June 01, 2009, 11:40:53 AM »

Do you believe everything you read on the internet? I seriously doubt that the story is true. IF someone was fast enough, forward thinking enough to be able to pull off a switch like that against a mugger, the wrong thing to then do is then become the mugger. If it were me who thwarted a mugging, the would be mugger would be held for the police. That's what any, law abiding person would do.

Please don't get me started on a rant.

malcolmgb · « **Reply #21 on:** June 01, 2009, 08:19:48 PM »

Quote from: vinmans brew on June 01, 2009, 06:37:46 AM

Or that brits have lousy humor ability. Notice the lack of the un-necessary U!

It was a joke

just when I thought I was begining to understand American 'humor'

billybobobrain · « **Reply #22 on:** June 02, 2009, 12:25:48 PM »

I (being half witted) realized half way through that this has to be one of those forwarded emails that just hasn't made it around to everyone yet.

very funny though.

get over the gun crap and stop getting offended people, this is a community not a high school.

obviosly or there wouldnt be so many gramer errors?

merc2dogs · « **Reply #23 on:** June 02, 2009, 05:01:07 PM »

Agreed, too many thin skinned people running around as it is.
It is in the humor section after all.

Ken.

News:

Author Topic: to the guy who tried to mug me............................ (Read 3367 times)

fuzzybutt

rhos1355

fuzzybutt

rhos1355

billybobobrain