Topic: Wife wants to ride

[Trevor from Warragul]

After watching me ride/collect motorcycles for 20 years, and not showing a lot of interest, my 47 year old wife has decided she wants to ride..

How serious is she?  We've already gone out and bought a 2001 Honda VTR250 (see picture) & she's ridden it around a big parking lot a few times.  She loves it.

I'm in two minds & really don't know how to feel.  Motorcycling is dangerous, but it's also lots of fun.

On her first few road rides there's gonna be a big Honda CBX running interference..

[lynchj]

Sounds cool to me but then I know that my wife would never ride so my perspective is different. There definitely is a level of danger and that must be a bit or a lot scary, there are so many bozo's out on the road that don't pay attention, too busy talking on the cell phone or whatever but you know that already.

 Has she taken the BRC? You will be the best judge on how focused she is and her skill level. Good luck and I'm sure you two will have some great rides together. The VTR250 is a really nice bike and handles awesome.

[rhos1355]

Just say no.............politely.
Tell her it's your 'alone' time you award yourself for being such a caring, loving and considerate husband the rest of the day.
Last year I told my missus I fancied riding all the way from Tierra del Fuego to Alaska one day. She said she wanted to come too, how, you don't ride I asked? I'll ride along in a camper van behind you she replied. Talk about a downer.

[Inkscars]

It's strange that she should wait so long, but teach her right and she'll be safe and sound.
Most girls that ride don't want to ride because their husbands/boyfriends do, They're just tired of riding behind you. 

[Tretnine]

sounds like your only real option is to embrace the situation as you're doing. If you were to tell her it's your thing or you think it's dangerous she could resent all the time you spend with your bikes. It seems like most ladies try motorcycling then decide it's not for them. Think about all the 'used 3 times' motorcycles that are sold on CL. I have to say, I'd be terrified, too, if my wife wanted to ride, but I worry about her every time she walks out the door to go to work... after all she IS just a girl... you know what I mean, being my girl and all. Help her along, maybe you'll take a tour cross country for your 50th.

[babyfood1217]

I would be stoked to honest.  Some girlfriends I've had in the past have been interested in the notion of riding, but never so much that they did anything about it.  Now one of them is hanging out with her friend (another ex... weird ) at all of his track days.  Another one is hoping to get a cruiser in the future so she can go out on rides with her parents. 

Make sure you can still have your "alone" time with your bikes and on the road, but help her as patiently as you can.  It will likely help her understand a little better all those times you end up on the road or in the shop instead of coming to bed or going to the inlaws

-Chris

[Hope]

Don't say no.

Let her take a motorcycle safety class.

I've seen some folks who like to ride on the back of other people's bikes walk away from the motorcycle safety class crying.

Some of them already owned their own bikes.

I'm not talking about the 2 minute safety class that your local dealership offers.  I'm talking about the one that the state offers ALL weekend.

People get fatigued.  They doubt their ability to ride.  They get plain scared.

Some people don't even pass the class and have to take it again.

Encourage her to take the class.  If she takes it and loves it and passes the class, then encourage her to join one of those women's rider's groups.

[edbikerii]

I don't see morini "saying no".  Seems to me that he has done nothing but encourage her, just as he probably would for any male friend interested in riding.

Who knows, maybe he'll have a lot of fun riding with her.  Maybe he'll enjoy it just as much as riding with riding buddies, except the fun doesn't stop when the lights go out!

If it turns out that it isn't so much fun, there's no law that says they have to ride together.

I've taught at least two females how to ride, and encouraged both to go to MSF after.  One got her license, but had a minor spill and chickened out.  She never rode again.  That was a shame, but probably for the best.  She was a little too nervous to ride.  You've got to have nerves of steel.

[Inkscars]

My foster ma got kicked out of the MSF cause she was nervous.
The teacher told me some very good advice.
"Once you become nervous, you're a danger to other people more than yourself."
I completely believe that.

[Beans]

To me if my wife wanted a bike I would be stoked. I love it when she askes to take her dirtbike out with me to ride when I go just to cruiz the trails.  She alsways ask me to if she can ride the bike when I'm done building it.  It scares me to see her ride a bike on the open road but I know she would do good.  I would sign her up for some classes.  I know that california highway patrol puts on some god classes and I know if she ever wanted a bike I would sign her up. Just be encouraging to the situation and just stand back and see what she does.  See if she will show interest in it more.  I know my wife sits their and watches me wrench on my bikes and is always asking to help that's how I know she will love it.  Hope this she love it man.

[mystic_1]

Wow, to all those advising "tell her no"... does SHE tell YOU no?

To those saying "it's scary to think of her riding her own bike" I say, is it any less scary for HER to watch YOU riding?


To Morini, +1 on the safety course recommendations.  Teach her to ride safely, that's the main thing.

mystic_1

[DammitDan]

Wow, to all those advising "tell her no"... does SHE tell YOU no?

To those saying "it's scary to think of her riding her own bike" I say, is it any less scary for HER to watch YOU riding?


To Morini, +1 on the safety course recommendations.  Teach her to ride safely, that's the main thing.

mystic_1

Thanks for saying that mystic...  Surprised it took as long as it did 

[MacM2010]

+1 Dan and Mystic.  Adult humans get to make their own decisions.  With the right training, gear, and good habits, she'll be as safe as anyone can be on a bike.

I can imagine the conversation that would follow if I said "no" to something like this with my wife.  I can't decide if we'd be talking over the flaming corpse of my bike, or whether she'd have sold it already and bought something she wanted.

[kghost]

Dumbasses who said no because they would be scared to watch....

Give me a break.....if they ride on the back thier watching all the time....how do you think that makes them feel?

For the record...I taught both my older sisters to ride.

I sent the Ex-wife and my niece to the MSF school.

Run interference for them the first few street rides.....and let them ride thier own ride.

[Marie]

Hello Morini,
Let you wife ride !!!!
The VTR is a great bike for woman, and for new riders, easy to ride, light and agile. I have one of those too since a few years, and I had really great time with her. Nice for travelling too.  Now I have a CB400 SF too, more heavy, but with good acceleration and nice for woman too.
I am a little bit older than your wife and It is not a problem to ride bike   When we will reach 80 years old, we always can put two more wheels on the bike, like small children bicycle…..  


One more thing: if she rides and likes it, she maybe doesn't want to ride with you always, but maybe on her own too.... I used to travel alone with my bike, and just a few times with my husband.....

[Inkscars]

oh I wanted to say something.
I just refrained. I vented in SBPT.

[rhos1355]

To mystic, kghost and Heffay. Sorry, I persist.
Firstly, I've ridden every day to work this week and in the 60 mile round trip I inevitably come across a right tosser that seems to be doing his best to spill my guts on the tarmac every single time. Ten years ago when I first started riding it used to freak me out. Now I'm abit more experienced and can usually get out of those situations or try to avoid them. But back to the topic, my wife is a very nice lady, still in one piece and I want to keep her that way. I won't even let her ride pillion with me 'cos if should anything happen to her I wouldn't be able to live with my conscience.
Then I also use the bike "to get away from it all" and to clear my mind from all the #$%*e it collects during the course of the day.
Ultimately for me it's a bloke thing as well. Meet up with a few of the lads, have a lark and shoot the breeze and catch up on all that macho bravado stuff. Ride home, kiss the wife, clean the bike, crack open a bottle of wine, and think; boy that was a fine day.

[mystic_1]

I won't even let her ride pillion

Ultimately for me it's a bloke thing

macho bravado

To which I say, "Ugh."


mystic_1

[kghost]

To mystic, kghost and Heffay. Sorry, I persist.
Firstly, I've ridden every day to work this week and in the 60 mile round trip I inevitably come across a right tosser that seems to be doing his best to spill my guts on the tarmac every single time. Ten years ago when I first started riding it used to freak me out. Now I'm abit more experienced and can usually get out of those situations or try to avoid them. But back to the topic, my wife is a very nice lady, still in one piece and I want to keep her that way. I won't even let her ride pillion with me 'cos if should anything happen to her I wouldn't be able to live with my conscience.
Then I also use the bike "to get away from it all" and to clear my mind from all the #$%*e it collects during the course of the day.
Ultimately for me it's a bloke thing as well. Meet up with a few of the lads, have a lark and shoot the breeze and catch up on all that macho bravado stuff. Ride home, kiss the wife, clean the bike, crack open a bottle of wine, and think; boy that was a fine day.

Ah huh.....and thats your personal choice.

I am sure your wife has her own interests......I doubt you discourage them.

I think the point is - Personal choice.

You gonna tell the wife no if she wanted to?

Think thats your Right?

Think she'd listen?

[rhos1355]

To which I say, "Ugh."

Sorry, I don't speak Welsh.

[Inkscars]

I've encouraged the other half to remove his passenger pegs.

You boys are doing a fine job or sorting it out though. 

[rhos1355]

Nah, kghost, it's not my right at all, but I'd give her a good explaination as to why I'm against her riding.
And sure enough, as you said, if she wasn't convinced she'd do it anyway. But I reckon the statistics speak for themselves.

[rhos1355]

What statistics?
THE STATISTICS, man, you know "so many people doing this will eventually do that" etc, etc.
Actually, I don't know what statistics!
But every time I tell someone I don't know very well that I love motorcycles and riding them, they ALWAYS say " oooohhh, but have you seen the statistics, more people............. (fill in your injury here) than pushing a pram blah, blah, blah"
So after the enth time I've heard this, I begin to wonder.
A bit like that Millennium bug thing a few years ago. Everybody believed it.

[kghost]

You wanna stay safe .....stay in the house.

Trust me its all about Risk Management.

I get paid to practice it.


There are more dangerous things in life....

[rhos1355]

As far as my personal safety is concerned, I fly as close to the sun as the rest of them. But my missus? Nah, she's too precious.