Topic: Members Leaving Really Sucks.....Sad Sad Sad.

[coldright]

because we see the utility of a civil intercourse and because we actually value and aspire to it.

I am 100% in favor of civil intercourse.

(I know, I know...discourse)

I'm with you, civil intercourse is way more fun, but civil discourse is prolly more appropriate for this forum... just sayin'   

[Caaveman82]

Here are my observations. We haven't lost just one or two long timers lately, we've lost a bunch. Unless we look at these as isolated incidents, we can expect more. The forum is changing, and according to some of those who have left, these changes have drained the fun they had here at one time. With each long timer goes a certain amount of technical knowledge. Lastly, to simplify, there are at least two camps regarding a proper response. Some folks openly lament each loss, while others feel we should move on and prevent more from leaving by treating exit as a non-event.

My personal feeling is that I would not want anyone to feel uncomfortable by my presence in person or online. Given my druthers, I'd like even the most thin skinned to feel comfortable here, provided such folks do not dole out more than they'd like to receive.

I'm not proud to admit that a couple of years back, I laid into Uncle Ernie in a political thread. At the time, I realized that I was becoming a miserable person to be around online. I gave up most Open Forum threads, and I tried to learn to keep my attitude online to be the same as in person. And I got to know Unk better.

I agree with you Burma, a lot of it comes down to personal responsibility of each member, but that also includes taking it upon yourself to be civil to others and being an adult. If you DO have a problem with some one or some people on the forum then you need to step up and say something, if they respond like an arse then you block them, if you leave the forum because of one or more people well that's a choice you make and we are all big boys and girls here.

[fishhead]

How many times in one month do we really need to rehash the exact same pointless topic?  People are going to do what they want to do.  End of story.  Do we need to start a freaking support group every time somebody decides to leave? 

Really.... I agree...

   Why is there such a focus on the little girlies who find the kitchen too hot for them and leave?

 Why not have more of a focus on the members who stay and really want to be here? There are so many members who WANT to be here and I would rather deal/converse/argue/joke/etc. with them than cry over the members who dont want to be here and leave.

 The forums arent everybodys cup of tea and if you dont want to be here, leave.

 If you want to be here, pull up a chair...

 It doesnt get any simpler than that.

[burmashave]

Here are my observations. We haven't lost just one or two long timers lately, we've lost a bunch. Unless we look at these as isolated incidents, we can expect more. The forum is changing, and according to some of those who have left, these changes have drained the fun they had here at one time. With each long timer goes a certain amount of technical knowledge. Lastly, to simplify, there are at least two camps regarding a proper response. Some folks openly lament each loss, while others feel we should move on and prevent more from leaving by treating exit as a non-event.

My personal feeling is that I would not want anyone to feel uncomfortable by my presence in person or online. Given my druthers, I'd like even the most thin skinned to feel comfortable here, provided such folks do not dole out more than they'd like to receive.

I'm not proud to admit that a couple of years back, I laid into Uncle Ernie in a political thread. At the time, I realized that I was becoming a miserable person to be around online. I gave up most Open Forum threads, and I tried to learn to keep my attitude online to be the same as in person. And I got to know Unk better.

I agree with you Burma, a lot of it comes down to personal responsibility of each member, but that also includes taking it upon yourself to be civil to others and being an adult. If you DO have a problem with some one or some people on the forum then you need to step up and say something, if they respond like an arse then you block them, if you leave the forum because of one or more people well that's a choice you make and we are all big boys and girls here.

 Yup. Over the years, I've resolved several issues with a polite PM. In all cases, members respected a direct request and the issue was instantly resolved. In fact, in each case the member was surprised that someone would contact them directly instead of contacting a mod. Folks respond when you contact them directly.

[mlinder]

A recently new member disliked my posting style. He let me know. I respected his wishes, and we made nice through PM's. All fixed. Not that difficult, really.

[Laminar]

Why bother with that when the ignore button is so easy to hit?

[mlinder]

Why bother with that when the ignore button is so easy to hit?

Because effort towards amicable resolutions is a nice thing to do, and helps with overall feelings of well being in the community.

[Gordon]

Why bother with that when the ignore button is so easy to hit?

Because some people actually prefer to at least try to resolve a problem through human interaction instead of just pretending it doesn't exist.  

[BobbyR]

I think the word Community is the operant word here. This is a large enough community to qualify as a small Town and have a Post office.

Whenever you get a large number of people congregating, you will have diverse interests and personalities, and there is bound to be conflict from time to time. The question is how that conflict is  handled both individually and as a group.

I have been delighted at the outpouring of concern when there is sickness and distress. I am appalled at over the top comments over something as trivial as Oil. This mirrors real life, I have seen both behaviors in my day to day living.

If we take the image of a Town or Community there should be other things to do. And like your own Town you participate in the things you are interested in and not the things you have no interest in.

This is first and foremost a Technical Forum for the SOHC Honda Motorcycles. It is the best of breed and I have found none better for any vehicle. When I was a member during the Greenspun days, the technology was very limiting. Today we have so much functionality, it allows for some diversions.

I personally stay away from the Open Forum more and more. I do obviously monitor the Babe Thread, and I look into the Inspiration Gallery, Bike of the Month, Trip reports etc, since they are very interesting.

I personally spend more time reading the tech postings than anything else. The Tech
section help me keep my bike running properly, and make improvements. To me it is the most important section. The rest is diversion and entertainment.

I am however not my Brothers keeper. As in my own Community and neighborhood, people move in and out for various reasons. I may miss some of them, but I continue to live there as I did before. The same holds true for this community.  

[Inigo Montoya]

And like any other community, people move. So to speak. Some people might not like their neighbors, so they move. Happens in real life and that happens here too. Someone gets a different bike, so they move. A forum, especially as big as this one, is constantly evolving. People joining and leaving is part of that. regardless if we like it or not, this mirrors real life. We do not have to like it but it is something we have to live with. It is not like you can go over to Hef's house or Dave's and force them to come back after all!
And for some people, if they are addicted to something, sometimes the only way to get over it is to completely leave it. Everyone is different, not everyone handles things the same. Just remember, what you might be thinking about them, they could be thinking about you. So if you want to call them names for leaving, just think about what they could be saying about you.

The golden rule people " do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I know none of us are perfect but the more we remind ourselves of this, I would almost guarantee there will be less issues.

[johnny_from_bel]

I miss the days of the old mail list. Stricktly SOHC4

I do check in from time to time but I wish I could filter out the non sohc topics.
Every time I look at the new topics I have 5-6 pages. I ususaly look at the first two and the rest, can't be bothered.

My member number is 158 I think I can qualify as 'old timer'.
Regardless of the above I have no intention to resign

Johnny-from-belgium

[Porscheguy912]

Here's my first post in about 8 Days........

I logged on to find out Heffey decided to delete his account....

Seems to reinforce the reason I took 8 days off from here.

I have taken many breaks from here...some for as long as 2 months.

We sure aint the forum I remember joining.

I've gone through the same thing Heffey did and I quit posting in the non bike discusson topics about a year ago.

I'm gonna concentrate on getting my Cafe done and the shop spotless.

I'm off and will see ya all whenever.

Caio,

Tim

I go on vacation for two weeks and i get back and there is no more heffay?
What the hell happened? I guess i have some reading to do.

[mlinder]

The only problem I have with kghosts view on this, is that he seems to think that people that are leaving are not party to the events that made them want to leave. Somehow it's "the forum", and the "new people".
It's not only those. the people leaving are as much a part of the reason as the other variables.

[Bob Wessner]

This is aimed at no one in particular, but the only comment I would offer is that things would go a lot more smoothly here if everyone treated everyone else with a modicum of respect. Name calling, real or implied accomplishes nothing but to draw defensive responses, and that just starts the ball rolling. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone's statement, position, or even opinion, provided it is done in a respectful manner.

[Laminar]

Because effort towards amicable resolutions is a nice thing to do, and helps with overall feelings of well being in the community.

Because some people actually prefer to at least try to resolve a problem through human interaction instead of just pretending it doesn't exist. 

I agree completely. But I know 13 people that don't.

[Inigo Montoya]

I agree bob. Sometimes though, a person just cant take another person, I guess in those cases there is the ignore button. there is one person for me but he already has me blocked so I do not have to worry about it. Probably for something very simple too.

On A side note, I think some people block just because they think they are better than the other person, some people get stuck up like that.

[coldright]

If a bar is known for rowdy behaviour, one does not need frequent it unless they desire rowdy behaviour. You can think of "Off Topic" as the "South Side" of the city of SOHC4, and the thread SBPT as the dive bar of the south side.
Don't want to go to a dive bar on the south side? Easy, then, don't go there.

Nice work there Linder... your influence is remarkable. 

[mlinder]

If a bar is known for rowdy behaviour, one does not need frequent it unless they desire rowdy behaviour. You can think of "Off Topic" as the "South Side" of the city of SOHC4, and the thread SBPT as the dive bar of the south side.
Don't want to go to a dive bar on the south side? Easy, then, don't go there.

Nice work there Linder... your influence is remarkable. 

It's because I'm so pretty.

[coldright]

If a bar is known for rowdy behaviour, one does not need frequent it unless they desire rowdy behaviour. You can think of "Off Topic" as the "South Side" of the city of SOHC4, and the thread SBPT as the dive bar of the south side.
Don't want to go to a dive bar on the south side? Easy, then, don't go there.

Nice work there Linder... your influence is remarkable. 

It's because I'm so pretty.

Well, you're not hideous, but you're pretty whacked. 

[Glenn Stauffer]

I miss the days of the old mail list. Stricktly SOHC4

I do check in from time to time but I wish I could filter out the non sohc topics.

Just a tip for those who just want to see the new topics in the Tech Forum.  Click the 'triangle with the slash' icon next to the forum name.  If it is bold, you'll see a page or two or three of new posts for just that forum.

I wish there were a setting so you could select just the forums you were interested in and see only those in the quick link to unread posts at the top of the page - maybe in another version.

I know there are a lot of old timers who share your longing for the old mailing list.  Of course, back then, the group was much more intimate - I think we had 400 or 500 tops on that mailing list and we're at almost 6500 members here.

[ofreen]

The only problem I have with kghosts view on this, is that he seems to think that people that are leaving are not party to the events that made them want to leave. Somehow it's "the forum", and the "new people".
It's not only those. the people leaving are as much a part of the reason as the other variables.

That is how I see it.  It is difficult for some people to handle disagreement with their ideas.  And some people can't disagree with someones ideas without also demonizing that person.  I see it here on the forum and I see it in the real world every day.  Makes it very difficult to move forward.

[my78k]

Guys, my view right now is more than a little skewed..admittedly. Also, I did not read every single post on this particular thread...

I just got back from vacation to find out Billy lost his wife! Truly this had a major impact on me. A guy I have never met or even spoken to live loses his wife and I am moved to tears knowing the hurt he must be feeling and someone suggests this forum should ONLY be bike related?

I don't think so!

I agree that we have lost some VERY good members on here. I would also add that we have had some very close calls (elections thread for example?!?!?) but we need to remember that this community is just that...a community!

What community doesn't have issues?

I hate to say it but if this board was strictly a bunch of posters who only sputed technical jargon when I was stuck on how to replace my fork seals or whatever I wouldn't check in here daily!

Dennis

[seaweb11]

+1

[Uncle Ernie]

6500 members?!

When are SOHC4 owners going to start getting spayed or neutered?

[78 k550]

too many of them leaving. I'm hear for awhile i don't let much get to me.

Paul