Topic: When Will I Be Able To Somewhat Move On?

[bill440cars]

Bill,

      Hang in there brother. One day at a time man, one day at a time. That's all we can do. I feel for you Bill I really really do. I have never lost anyone as close to me as a spouse but I have lost a lot of people and even now, 2, 5, 7, 12, 20, years later I still get sad about their passing. It takes time.

      Yeah, that's what I'm tryin to do, just hang in there. Like YOU, I have lost others over the years and there are still times that i remember them and feel it as well. I never really thought about how it would be to be in this position...........and why would I, you know?
There isn't a day that goes by, that I'm not at a loss at why she couldn't still be here? On the other hand, I KNOW that it was her time to go and all. I also know and find some comfort in knowing that Brenda is up there with the Lord and her Dad and others that have gone on before me. I know that she is feeling great, it's just really hard for me to just let go so easily. It's hard for me to deal with her body having been buried in that cemetery.
It still seems like a nightmare to me, like I'm gonna wake up and she'll be there. Then, everytime I DO wake up, I know that she is gone and I'm not going to see her again, until my
time comes and I've got so much to deal with, along with those
who depend on me. It's just not fair. So many changes have taken place (in my life and at work) and so hard to keep up with them all.


          BTW, TODAY is one month! This time one month ago, I was frantically trying to wake her up because she had started having problems at 5:30 that morning. By NOW, I had already called 911 and they were here trying to bring Brenda back, trying to get her to respond.     

[Caaveman82]

Bill,

    My cousin was wrongfully shot by a cop in Virgina when he was 27 years old. He taught me how to drive a stick shift. I crashed his truck into a tree when I was like 9 years old. I have fond memmories of him and this was a long time ago now, 15 years. Every time I drive a manual, which is every day, I think of him. Some times good, some times bad. It may never go away. You are right though Bill, you've been delt a #$%* hand recently and it is not fair. You are however a tough cookie. I believe in you and I don't even know you. I have read a lot of the things you post about what's going on in your life and I admire your strength. All I can say is just keep your chin up and put one foot in front of the other.

[bill440cars]

Bill,

    My cousin was wrongfully shot by a cop in Virgina when he was 27 years old. He taught me how to drive a stick shift. I crashed his truck into a tree when I was like 9 years old. I have fond memmories of him and this was a long time ago now, 15 years. Every time I drive a manual, which is every day, I think of him. Some times good, some times bad. It may never go away. You are right though Bill, you've been delt a #$%* hand recently and it is not fair. You are however a tough cookie. I believe in you and I don't even know you. I have read a lot of the things you post about what's going on in your life and I admire your strength. All I can say is just keep your chin up and put one foot in front of the other.

          Ya know, I'm finding out more and more about things that have happened in Other's lives and that there are a number of the SOHC4 bunch that are carrying quite a burden as well. I knew that I wasn't the only one, but just didn't realize how many have been affected by this sort of thing. I hope that no one gets the idea that I feel that MY situation is worse, not that anyone has given me that impression. I've had some relatives and friends pass, that have really done a number on me, but THIS one has really thrown me for a loop. Everybit of encouragement that I have gotten (and will get), gives me me support like you wouldn't believe. I am always impressed by the fact that some many folks (most of whom have never met face to face) can come together to offer their support to someone in need. And it starts up as soon as a member expresses the need FOR that support. THis place is AWESOME!

[bill440cars]

      Well Folks, looks like I have found something to help me toget on somewhat. Brenda always knew that her only competition was motorcycles and muscle cars. Well, I can't swing the cost of a 69' road runner, but I DID manage to pick up on a bike last night on ebay.

      This will help me to work on to the stage in my life that I can better handle what happened on July 1st (not ERASE it, but better handle it)    (See the rest about it on "Other Bikes")


       

        But, I still want to see the exhaust on Caminokid's 750 DOHC and talk to him about it!

[coldright]

It's nice to see that you are putting your mind into things that bring you joy.  Congratulations on the bike, Bill.  I'm sure that Brenda would approve, especially knowing, as I'm sure she did, that motorcycles and muscle cars weren't really any competition at all!

[bill440cars]

It's nice to see that you are putting your mind into things that bring you joy.  Congratulations on the bike, Bill.  I'm sure that Brenda would approve, especially knowing, as I'm sure she did, that motorcycles and muscle cars weren't really any competition at all!

                  I'll tell you, it feels real good to be able to find something like this GPZ and be able to get it and bring it home. Now, that's not to say that I am going to just let my Honda "Projects" set idle forever. No way! I'm working to get my 80' CB750K straight and then hope to go on into the 77' CB750A and so on.......! I get the feeling that Brenda had something to do with this, before now, I had never checked on ebay for any kind of bike  or one that was located within a 500mile radius (and this is what I did just a couple of days ago. This netted me a score that was only about 2hrs away, in Oklahoma. Seems kinda coincidental. On top of that, I've seen several folks since I committed to buy the GPZ, who said that I really looked like I was doing better. Too bad I can't locate a 69' road runner in the same condition and for a decent price! Now THAT would be TOO much!

                  Yeah, you are right about the competition thing, but they were the closest competition though ( She knew how I felt about her) I DID have to reassure her now and then though, she WAS insecure at times and I never figured out why. I was always doing things for her and she knew that I was.  She was MY Woman, My Lady and there will NEVER be ANOTHER and SHE is waiting up there, for ME!

[78 k550]

Bill, you would of died I was turning at a light and turning right pulled up and off i'm pretty sure it was a 69 Ragtop cream color black top. It sounded sweet also. Oh Like new it looked.

Paul

[bill440cars]

Bill, you would of died I was turning at a light and turning right pulled up and off i'm pretty sure it was a 69 Ragtop cream color black top. It sounded sweet also. Oh Like new it looked.

Paul

         Oh MAN! I'd loved to have seen that! When I bought my Red 66' Charger in Dec 69, also at that car lot (among others) was a 69' rag top and a 69 and a half road runner coupe with the 440 6pack! Oh, if ONLY I could have bought thos 2 as well. THe old runners had a nice sound alright. Thanks for posting,... I think? Now, I'm going back and wishing that there would have been some way that we could have hung on to those 2 69's we had (the hdtp and the coupe). Oh, the memories!   Thank you Paul

[GoatBaSS]

I skipped to the end on this one man. Take all the time you need, but every minute that passes and you rerun the fond memories, is moving on. Not away, just on.

[bill440cars]

I skipped to the end on this one man. Take all the time you need, but every minute that passes and you rerun the fond memories, is moving on. Not away, just on.

     That is exactly what I am trying to get myself ro accomplish, Moving on and NOT AWAY! Thank you for putting it into words, I had the 1st part, just don't want ANYONE to even THINK that I am moving AWAY from what we had. I am beginning to get the idea that she might had had an idea that her time was coming, but she never told me her feeling and I think that was because she knew I couldn't handle it (Knowing that she would be going). And she would have been right, about that because as I type this, I am having SOME problem. I suppose that I will, til my time comes, never get over the fact that she's gone. I hope to get to where I can handle it better, but I will NEVER get over it.   Better go, I am juist sitting here and doing nothing (not even typing anything),  Bill

[GoatBaSS]

Shall I send you an engine to rebuild? I will send it bolt by bolt washer by washer. Should be all there by 2043.
Watch the sunset. It does a soul good...

[bill440cars]

Shall I send you an engine to rebuild? I will send it bolt by bolt washer by washer. Should be all there by 2043.
Watch the sunset. It does a soul good...

     
        2043, huh?    yeah, Brenda and I saw a lot of those Sunsets.   If we'd  seen ANY SUNRISES (while we were dating), I wouldn't be here today! Cause He'd have been after me!

       

         Yesterday, I talked with several of our friends ans we talked about various things concerning Brenda, which left me feeling pretty good and all. Then, when I woke up this AM, I had some thoughts about her ans some of our times together, and that left me with some feelings, but then I realized that I had to get around and get ready for the day. I mean, with all that I am trying to do, all that's on my mind, along with taking care of My Dad, James, Joey and Karla, my days are so full that you wouldn't think that I would have time to even think about Brenda. But, I DO! But, I'm not doing something that I need to do, when I stop and thnk of Brenda.

         You know, Hush recommended that I name the GPZ, Brenda and I agreed. Thing is, when she had HER road runner, she had her initials on her car (BKK for Brenda K Krippendorf) and I am considering putting that on the GPZ somewhere. Noone will know what it means except me.


                                                       Gotta go, my day is beginnning now,  Bill    

[bill440cars]

          You know, PART of my being able to move on, involves me having the OTHER things being back to normal again also. For now, the OTHER THINGS involve the 2 young men I still work with and one of them's mother is trying to pull some stuff on me and her son. Thing is, I'm supposed to have her son (who IS his own guardian) 5 days and 4nights. Well, this wek , for example, I've had him all of the days, because she works a day job. But, I've only had him 1 night! 2 of those evenings, while he was with her, she called and said that he wanted to spend the night, so she would bring him back the next morning. I'll be talking to Bost today and ask for a meeting of Me, him and his mother with Bost to clarify the details because she tells me that she was told it was alright to do that.