..... the only time my wife seems to need me for something (not including sex) is when I am working on my bike out in the shed.
Are you saying that your wife DOES need you for sex?
I thought that sex was nonexistant after marriage (or after they just invade your house in my case)!
BTW: INVASION = GF + 2 cats + dog. A real military style operation. She sent the cats first, one at a time, the advance party.
Then the dog came to visit, becomes your buddy, you know like a spy. Then her stuff arrived.
YEAH, that's what I thought, well maybe for a few weeks .....
The dog was great! Unfortunately he is no longer with us.