An old pirate walks into a saloon and the barkeeper says to to him, "it's been a long time since you have last been in here, and you're not looking to good"
Ayee, we been sailing the high seas for quite some time now said the pirate.
Barkeeper: What has happened to you, you have a wooden leg now.
Pirate: Arrrgg there was a terrible battle at sea and I took a cannon ball to the leg, nearly killed me, but I'm a mean old sog and I pulled through.
Barkeeper: And you lost your hand, you have a hook there now.
Pirate: It was another fierce battle, I was sword fighting and the bloke sliced my hand clean off, but I got him in the end, aaaarggg.
Barkeeper: You got a patch on your eye now too, another sword fight?
Pirate: naaaa, it was a beautiful sunny day and I was out on deck, I looked up and a sea gull crapped right on my face.
Barkeeper: What? You can't lose an eye that way,
Pirate: Give me a break, it was my first day with the hook
