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Author Topic: Pierre, the French Paratrooper  (Read 5764 times)

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Offline Terry in Australia

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Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« on: November 27, 2005, 06:54:49 PM »
The French Paratrooper 


Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.


After the first day they met up in the bar.

 

"Ah, Pierre," asks one, " 'ow 'av you been doing?"


"Merde!" answers Pierre.  "I 'av 'ad a mos' terrible day.  Terrible!


At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant.  'E dragged me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."


"And zen what 'appened?" inquires his mate.


"I weel tell you what 'appened!  'E made me climb urp zis silly leetle platform five feet off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"."


"'And did you jump?" asks his mate.


"I did not.  I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper.  I do not jump five feet.  It is beneass my dignity."


"And zen what 'appened?" asks his mate.


"Zen 'e made me climb up zis silly leetle platform ten feet off ze ground, and 'e said "Jump!"."


"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.


"I did not.  I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper.  It is beneass my dignity to jump ten feet."


"What 'appened zen?" asks his mate.


"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform a 'undred feet above ze parade ground.  'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous willy, and 'e said:  "If you do not jurmp, I am going to stick zis right urp your burm."."


"Ooooh!" says his mate.  "And did you jurmp?"


"A leetle, at ze beginning."
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2005, 07:16:36 PM »
Thats the worst French accent I have ever had the pleasure of reading. ;D
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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2005, 07:17:16 PM »
heh heh heh
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Offline skamania19

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2005, 09:06:12 PM »
That's what a French accent written with an Australian accent looks like.   :D
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Offline Sam Green Racing

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2005, 10:20:07 PM »
Now that's what I call a good explanation :-X
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Offline dpen

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2005, 03:20:07 AM »
And now Terry, you know why us Blue Orchids called you Green Blokes "grunts"
« Last Edit: November 28, 2005, 03:41:15 AM by dpen »
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2006, 11:54:49 PM »
Good one

I think the french accent was pretty good,

(of course I dislike the french, so i only know "stereotypical french accents")

RKS
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Offline burmashave

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2006, 09:31:38 AM »
Quote from: skamania19 on November 27, 2005, 09:06:12 PM
That's what a French accent written with an Australian accent looks like.   :D

Ha, ha, ha, ha!
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2006, 05:25:17 PM »
Quote from: dpen on November 28, 2005, 03:20:07 AM
And now Terry, you know why us Blue Orchids called you Green Blokes "grunts"

Hey Dave, we soldiers only call our air farce "blue orchids" because we're not allowed to call 'em poofters! Ha ha, Cheers, Terry. ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline ic455

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2006, 09:09:31 PM »
Quote from: Rsnip988 on October 27, 2006, 11:54:49 PM
Good one

I think the french accent was pretty good,

(of course I dislike the french, so i only know "stereotypical french accents")

RKS

Now the French-Canadians are gonna ream ya ;)

I love the French!  (French Toast, French Fries, French Kiss)  ;D :-[
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Offline mrbreeze

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2006, 09:28:29 PM »
Don't think he'd  know the difference if he got reamed with a telephone pole!
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2006, 10:23:10 PM »
perhaps not since I wont ge4t reamed in any real way


RKS
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2006, 12:16:33 AM »
Quote from: ic455 on October 31, 2006, 09:09:31 PM
Quote from: Rsnip988 on October 27, 2006, 11:54:49 PM
Good one

I think the french accent was pretty good,

(of course I dislike the french, so i only know "stereotypical french accents")

RKS

Now the French-Canadians are gonna ream ya ;)

I love the French!  (French Toast, French Fries, French Kiss)  ;D :-[

Don't you mean "Freedom Fries" mate? Ha ha, Cheers, Terry. ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2006, 12:49:22 AM »
Nah I dont have a problem with French fries or French toast or French Kissing for that matter, if they dont want to fight "our war" thats their perrogative, shouldnt be mad at them for not wanting to make a mess we'll have to clean up...

Viva La France?


Cheers

RKS
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2006, 02:16:18 AM »
Quote from: Rsnip988 on November 01, 2006, 12:49:22 AM
Nah I dont have a problem with French fries or French toast or French Kissing for that matter, if they dont want to fight "our war" thats their perrogative, shouldnt be mad at them for not wanting to make a mess we'll have to clean up...

Viva La France?


Cheers

RKS

Well it's a mess alright Richard, but I don't know that the French had much to do with it? ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2006, 03:45:44 AM »
THat was my point exactly, I was saying that if they didnt want to join "our war"  (meaning the US) since we started it, i dont have a problem with their decision, I'd rather just bring our troops home and let the Iraqi's kill each other if they want to, odds are most of the violence will stop if we leave, (or maybe the whole country will fall, but its not my concern)

RKS
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Offline sparty

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #16 on: November 01, 2006, 11:35:50 AM »
Perfect - is that French Canadian?
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Offline ic455

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #17 on: November 01, 2006, 08:51:49 PM »
Quote from: sparty on November 01, 2006, 11:35:50 AM
Perfect - is that French Canadian?

Depends on how big the guy is....... ;D
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Offline mrbreeze

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2006, 09:08:22 PM »
 ??? ??? ??? ??? ???WTF does that have to do with it  ??? ???
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2006, 10:28:59 PM »
I was wondering what the point was bringing up french canadians also...


RKS
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Offline ic455

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2006, 10:35:21 PM »
Canadian members here, could be French-Canadian.
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2006, 10:36:50 PM »
I know that I was asking why, oh never mind it wasnt important anyway...


useless post
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Offline ic455

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2006, 10:41:59 PM »
Oh, my bad.....I guess I mistook this for the "Shameless" thread :-[

Still depends on how big the guy is 8)
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #23 on: November 01, 2006, 10:43:50 PM »
Meaning his stature, or his ummmmm other size?

I wouldnt like being "reamed"  no matter the size


RKS
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Offline ic455

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Re: Pierre, the French Paratrooper
« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2006, 10:45:43 PM »
I think we're all on different pages here.......
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