Author Topic: Convincing the wife!! How did you do it? (Read 2226 times)

robdrobd · « **on:** August 20, 2009, 05:56:34 AM »

I have been bugging my wife to get a bike now for three years. Finally, I told her I would restore an old bike one piece at a time. That way she would have a few years to warm up to the idea. Just wondering if anyone else had to do some convincing. The bike I will be restoring.. a 1975 Cb550f Super Sport. Which reminds me, if you have any side covers lying around, please e-mail me

mlinder · « **Reply #1 on:** August 20, 2009, 06:39:00 AM »

I do it by not having a wife....

Have fun with your new bike

my78k · « **Reply #2 on:** August 20, 2009, 07:01:18 AM »

Are you trying to convince her to ride or to "allow" you to have one?

If you are trying to convince her I wouldn't push too hard. Riding for the wrong reasons is even more dangerous!

If you are talking about getting one for your self....well isn't a marriage supposed to be a partnership? I hear guys chest thumping all the time saying that they do whatever they want or she can "f" off blah blah blah. In my case I explained my position, and also that I would never let riding or wrenching interfere with my other more important roles in life (like my kids and providing for us all). As long as it doesn't detract from other parts of "our: life then I can do whatever I choose. Oh that and I had to have a decent life insurance policy!!

Dennis

MCRider · « **Reply #3 on:** August 20, 2009, 07:16:31 AM »

Quote from: my78k on August 20, 2009, 07:01:18 AM

Are you trying to convince her to ride or to "allow" you to have one?

If you are trying to convince her I wouldn't push too hard. Riding for the wrong reasons is even more dangerous!

If you are talking about getting one for your self....well isn't a marriage supposed to be a partnership? I hear guys chest thumping all the time saying that they do whatever they want or she can "f" off blah blah blah. In my case I explained my position, and also that I would never let riding or wrenching interfere with my other more important roles in life (like my kids and providing for us all). As long as it doesn't detract from other parts of "our: life then I can do whatever I choose. Oh that and I had to have a decent life insurance policy!!

Dennis

Yes that's the deal, its a partnership and should be taken seriously. In a partnership of 2, the "No" always wins. period. And so, to change a No to a Yes...

Find out what her problem is. If its safety, take an MSF course. Even if you're not riding yet, show her you're serious. Recent statistics in Indiana show that 93% of fatal accidents occurred to non-trained riders. That leaves 7% which puts it in the same league as falling in the bathtub. Take it again when you're ready to ride.

If its money, buy a big term life insurance policy. etc, etc. Budget for her fun stuff too. You've got to match toys dollar for dollar, but don't be too obvious about it. If she's not a toy person, take her out and pretend to enjoy it.

Jewelry often helps.

You get the idea?

CaféElite · « **Reply #4 on:** August 20, 2009, 07:42:51 AM »

Quote from: mlinder on August 20, 2009, 06:39:00 AM

I do it by not having a wife....

verboten1 · « **Reply #5 on:** August 20, 2009, 08:01:08 AM »

my ex wife never wanted me to have a bike.

the minute I moved out, I was riding.

my girlfriend doesnt like riding, but I have 3 bikes

GoatBaSS · « **Reply #6 on:** August 20, 2009, 08:01:32 AM »

She hates motorcycles. Her family hates motorcycles(as i do hear of every accident that has killed or maimed in the tri state area thanks to my father in law, who is otherwise a great person). My mom is not to fond I guess but we do not speak of it much, as her father used to ride the carnivals in the 20s and 30s and everybody in town remembers him with a bike( as well as speedboat racing, flying etc) and he gave me my first moto mag on sidecar racing in the 70s. I did not get one till I was out of college (learned in college though) before her and I were on the road to bliss. I do not flaunt it, and go out of my way not to push it in the face of those who dislike it.
That being said my wife has stood up for my passion to the chagrin of her family. If they knew how little I rode v.s. the amount of time I work on them and study manuals they would probably not change their fears. I think, they think, they mean well. But my wife summed it up this way...
" I would hate for there to be something, someday that you told me I could not do."
Nuff said.
And to those that have a relationship that is less than that, I am sorry, I could not live that way.
Secretly I think it turns her on a bit.

Industrial Rat400f Killer · « **Reply #7 on:** August 20, 2009, 08:40:57 AM »

Be careful what you wish for. I just mentioned that my 400f was small enough that she could ride it sometime. She road it and then wanted one. I bought cb350k4 for her and now when I want to get away for some "me" time on the bike she's right there in my mirror. At stop lights she says things like "you'll get a ticket riding like that".
It's like having my mom following me around shaking her finger at me all the time.

Just kidding, sort of

I do get to ride more often now because I'm not stuck in a cage with her when we go out together. The cool thing is she likes motorcycle races now so we go to most of the dirt and road races we can get to.

lynchj · « **Reply #8 on:** August 20, 2009, 10:05:47 AM »

I take it that you are convincing your wife that you should get a bike, not one for her.

My wife hates bikes, and as an EMT she has scraped up several bikers off the pavement thus enforcing her hatered for them. I restarted riding 5 years ago with dirtbikes with my son so I had a good excuse, I'm only doing it for him (ya right). I haven't ridden on the road since I was 17 and that was a loooong time ago (I was in a bad accident with my CB350 back in 76, not my fault but I am lucky to still be walking) . A friend of mine recently gave me a 73 CB500 that was a basket case and I'm optimisticly about 1/2 done restoring it. After her seeing all of the work I'm going through and knowing that I can actually ride she has warmed up to the idea but still isn't thrilled. Taking the BRC (it's called the Basic Rider Course here in CT) has helped calm her nerves.
I don't think she will ever be happy I'm riding on the road (or soon to be) but she knows that I just have to do it. Trust will be a big part of it, I'll never ride without gear and I'm not a crazy teen anymore. When the day comes that the 500 hits the road she will be very nervous and probably won't ever stop being that way. Good luck.

bucky katt · « **Reply #9 on:** August 20, 2009, 10:34:33 AM »

came home from a weekend trip with the k4 on a trailer. it's better to not ask and smooth things over later.

climbingaz · « **Reply #10 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:03:13 AM »

I guess I have the opposite problem. My wife has expressed some interest in learning how to ride. Not much, just a little. But I don't want her to. My stepmother died on her motorcycle a few years ago. She did everything "right", took the MSF safety courses, was wearing full protective gear, riding an appropriate beginner's bike, etc.

RIP Jan

robdrobd · « **Reply #11 on:** August 20, 2009, 12:37:49 PM »

Yes, you are correct. My wife doesn't want me riding. I really think I might be in it more for the "fixing up" part though. I need something to fix other than all the house crap that consumes most of my manly skills (ha.) I picked up a nice 1975 CB550F1 this morning. Flake Orange, very little rust. Runs very well. Does have some rust on the pipes by the head, only on one pipe. Is that weird? Anyway, project "tinker" has begun. I will post pics of the bike in a few weeks when I get the shed built. Oh, one more thing. Are the pipes interchangeable on 4 into 1 CB's, or do I have to find an exact match?

Forgot to tell you the price. $400, with clean title.

coldright · « **Reply #12 on:** August 20, 2009, 12:43:43 PM »

I don't think you should try to convince someone who isn't interested or is afraid. Getting on a bike is a risk that each person has to assume on their own. You can't and shouldn't try to convince her of something she's afraid or hesitant to do cause you have to keep in mind that woman are notorious for doing stuff to please their men, even if they don't really want to. Warming her up, if she's not interested, isn't going to bode well for her riding skills.
Fear can paralyze you and that is the last thing you need on a bike. I'm just laying it out, cause if she's not on a bike after 3 years, it makes me think she shouldn't be. I love riding, but I do it for myself... not to please anyone else.

robdrobd · « **Reply #13 on:** August 20, 2009, 12:48:39 PM »

Quote from: coldright on August 20, 2009, 12:43:43 PM

I don't think you should try to convince someone who isn't interested or is afraid. Getting on a bike is a risk that each person has to assume on their own. You can't and shouldn't try to convince her of something she's afraid or hesitant to do cause you have to keep in mind that woman are notorious for doing stuff to please their men, even if they don't really want to. Warming her up, if she's not interested, isn't going to bode well for her riding skills.
Fear can paralyze you and that is the last thing you need on a bike. I'm just laying it out, cause if she's not on a bike after 3 years, it makes me think she shouldn't be. I love riding, but I do it for myself... not to please anyone else.

It is me she doesn't want riding. She will never get on a bike and has no desire. Sorry if that wasn't clear. Thanks for the reply.

coldright · « **Reply #14 on:** August 20, 2009, 12:50:57 PM »

Oh, tough one. Sorry, can't help you there. Does she want to do anything you don't like her to do? Maybe you can make a trade?

My skimming skills at work need some improvement!

robdrobd · « **Reply #15 on:** August 20, 2009, 01:32:41 PM »

Quote from: coldright on August 20, 2009, 12:50:57 PM

Oh, tough one. Sorry, can't help you there. Does she want to do anything you don't like her to do? Maybe you can make a trade?

I told her I would match my purchases dollar for dollar. That seemed to help a little.

Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er · « **Reply #16 on:** August 20, 2009, 05:06:50 PM »

First wives are a lot tougher sell than 3rd wives UNLESS you have a high paying job. Sometimes it's damn near impossible to tell the good ones from the keepers

Then there are the #$%*es

(My #2) I never did/will accept a dick string

Otherwise give her a hint then ride up on it. If you don't have that high paying job then you don't have as much to lose. Statistics say she'll probably be replaced eventually anyway.

Not trying to piss in your Wheaties. Just being realistic.

Damfino · « **Reply #17 on:** August 20, 2009, 05:15:01 PM »

Quote from: coldright on August 20, 2009, 12:43:43 PM

you have to keep in mind that woman are notorious for doing stuff to please their men, even if they don't really want to.

Hubba, Hubba!

jtb · « **Reply #18 on:** August 20, 2009, 05:45:50 PM »

The first one, I said "Gxxxamn it, Martha, I'm 59 years old. If I don't get a bike to restore now, I'll never get one." She didn't say no, so I got it. She lived through all the trials and tribs with me, didn't b16ch too much about the money flying out, and even let me ride it. The second one, however....

coldright · « **Reply #19 on:** August 20, 2009, 09:59:13 PM »

Quote from: lynchj on August 20, 2009, 10:05:47 AM

My wife hates bikes, and as an EMT she has scraped up several bikers off the pavement thus enforcing her hatered for them.

I'm a level one trauma nurse and I ride... If I was afraid of all the stuff that brings people through those doors, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning

kghost · « **Reply #20 on:** August 20, 2009, 10:37:31 PM »

Quote from: coldright on August 20, 2009, 09:59:13 PM

Quote from: lynchj on August 20, 2009, 10:05:47 AM
My wife hates bikes, and as an EMT she has scraped up several bikers off the pavement thus enforcing her hatered for them.

I'm a level one trauma nurse and I ride... If I was afraid of all the stuff that brings people through those doors, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning

+1 people get killed doing all sorts of things.

However if you have to ask for advice on the wife from a motorcycle forum......

Maybe bikes aint for you.......

74cb750 · « **Reply #21 on:** August 20, 2009, 10:43:39 PM »

I have been through this a few times.
Wife said she wanted to learn to ride, so I bought her a beautiful
4,000 miles, near perfect Kawasaki S3 triple.
She didn't like the sound and the fact it had no starter button!
Then I restored a 1976 CB550 to near mint, "Its too big".
Ok,
now I'm unemployed *again), and she wants a new Honda cb250?
Can't win for trying sometimes.

mrblasty · « **Reply #22 on:** August 20, 2009, 11:01:10 PM »

If all goes as planned I'll be picking up a '76 CB750 "pile 'o bike" basket case next week.
The wife had her say, I said "you are intitled to your opinion" and that was all that was said. So next week I'll post a few pics.

GoatBaSS · « **Reply #23 on:** August 21, 2009, 05:14:40 AM »

Quote from: jtb on August 20, 2009, 05:45:50 PM

The first one, I said "Gxxxamn it, Martha, I'm 59 years old. If I don't get a bike to restore now, I'll never get one." She didn't say no, so I got it. She lived through all the trials and tribs with me, didn't b16ch too much about the money flying out, and even let me ride it. The second one, however....

What about THREE and FOUR!!!

brett_bike · « **Reply #24 on:** August 21, 2009, 06:00:35 AM »

When I was first started talking to the wife about getting a bike, I told her the one I wanted was over $11,000.00 (Ducati Monster). First I mentioned how much cheaper it would be to buy an old bike and fix it up, even with what I would have to put into it. Second, I told her that a 35 year old bike wouldn't be nearly as fast (she hears: dangerous) as a new Ducati.

She mad me promise that the CB500 now sitting in our garage wouldn't be a money pit. "But baby", I said, "all the foam is deteriorating inside my old stock seat, that's why I bought a Classic Cycle City seat for $400".

Now she says, "Considering how much time and money you've put into the Honda, you would sell the Ducati before you sell the Honda". He-he.

News:

Author Topic: Convincing the wife!! How did you do it? (Read 2226 times)