David McClure of McKinney : A senior moment ... at 48?
David McClure teaches science and coaches at Faubion Middle School
in McKinney . He is also a Teacher Voices volunteer columnist.
$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said
to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes
and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.
Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to
the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the
harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount.."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound
of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet a mere
child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was
wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began
to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back
inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a
smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it
in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now?
A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared
with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.
"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into
the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and
tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads
hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my
rearview mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the
back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A
partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien
vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot,
relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.. That is when
I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach
growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere
to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back
into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth
and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world
coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in
here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back
to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security
benefits.
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a
young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was
holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you
left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the
little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does
stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40..
Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told
the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the
hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I
promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a
blanky.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
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