Topic: New Terror Alert Levels

[Terry in Australia]

As many of you may be aware, in light of the current nightly disturbances
occurring all over France, the French government has just announced a raise
in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide".
The normal level is "General Arrogance",  and the only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate".
The rise was precipitated by a recent arsonist fire that destroyed France's
white  flag factory in an ethnic suburb of Paris, effectively paralyzing
the country's  military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has
increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate
military  posturing".
Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in
uniform  and sing marching songs".
They have two higher levels: "Invade Denmark" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from
"Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change".
Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally
those without any credible military)" and "Ask the British and Aussies for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and
have  raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though,
security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross". Londoners  have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance".
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the Great  Fire of 1666.

[seaweb11]

Ya know Terry, people with worse ideas and bad writing skills make a living writting stuff like this....I'd buy the book!

Ever thought of a change in carreers? 
Anyone else here see the wisdom in this?

[Buffo]

agreed.

[SteveD CB500F]

 

I was about to dash off a "I've seen this so many times" reply when I got down to "A Bit Cross".  HA HA haven't seen that bit. And it's sooooo true.

[clarkjh]

The only prob is Terry left out his cousins, us cunuks.  But then again, we just have to clean up the mess.

james

[SteveD CB500F]

I can't actually think of a good sterotype for the Canadians.  Maybe something along the lines of "so french that even the French hate them"

Well that does for Quebec.

[eldar]

We use them in operation "human shield"!

[clarkjh]

Hey, mabe we'll give them back to France in the "next referendum"  after the election.

James

[Badboy]

Now ,what are the French to do without their white flags to wave?!

[Terry in Australia]

I always love that joke about: Why does Paris have so many tree lined boulevards?" "So the Germans can march in the shade!" Cheers, Terry.  

[Einyodeler]

FOR SALE

Vintage French rifle for sale............dropped twice........never been fired 

[chippyfive50]

When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache.

[smithrelo]

RE:  the riots in France:

The French are in the quandry of having to surrender to ....the French!!!

LMAO
Linda

[mutters]

Why is it that people keep invading France,.... and keeping giving it back??

[Terry in Australia]

Why is it that people keep invading France,.... and keeping giving it back??

I spent a bit of time there back in 1974 mate, thought about invading it just for fun, but back then Amsterdam was a much more interesting place for a young conquerer, (full of American draft dodgers smoking dope at impromptu concerts in every square around the city) so I invaded that place instead, ha ha!

I Had my first sexual encounter there too, (well, the first with another person, anyway ) the hotel I stayed in had a poker machine (I came from a small country town, and had never seen one before) and a "live in hooker", and she was kind enough to "break me in" for free, ha ha! I wonder which retirement home that ol' broad's living in now, I should send her some flowers, ha ha! Cheers, Terry.

[Einyodeler]

I spent a bit of time there back in 1974 mate, thought about invading it just for fun, but back then Amsterdam was a much more interesting place for a young conquerer, (full of American draft dodgers smoking dope at impromptu concerts in every square around the city) so I invaded that place instead, ha ha!

I Had my first sexual encounter there too, (well, the first with another person, anyway ) the hotel I stayed in had a poker machine (I came from a small country town, and had never seen one before) and a "live in hooker", and she was kind enough to "break me in" for free, ha ha! I wonder which retirement home that ol' broad's living in now, I should send her some flowers, ha ha! Cheers, Terry.

Ah Amsterdam....brings back a lot of memories.......too bad I can`t remember most of them 

Hey Terry
They turned the hotel into a retirement home for old hookers and she`s still there but now she has a nasty disposition because you never came back for her like you promised. Now she just sits around in her wheelchair all day and mumbles something about the Aussie with the big wooly balls

[Terry in Australia]

Geez Einy, she's held her age well, she looked pretty much like that back in 1974! Ha ha, Cheers, Terry.

[Sam Green Racing]

You sad MF,...or somebodys

[Terry in Australia]

You sad MF,...or somebodys

 

[MetalHead550]

LMAO  you guys are killin me!