Topic: My kitty is dying

[DavePhipps]

Took the cat to the vet and found out she has FLV.
We got her with the house we bought. The previous owners moved out 2 years before we bought the house and left their cat. She lived feral for that  time and a year after we moved in she decided she wanted back in the house. Since then she has been the most loving cat I've ever met.
The vet said she night only have a few weeks to a few months to live. I don't know how I'm going to break this to  my kids. I think this may be one of the toughest things I've ever had to talk t o them about

[tramp]

talk to them and prepare them for what is coming up
that way it won't hit them so hard
good luck

[Inigo Montoya]

Yeah I agree. I think that is the best you can do. I know some might say to tell the kids the cat ran away but I guess I feel that is a cop out cause then they will linger with hope the cat will come back and then you have the questions of why it did not.

[lynchj]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. Animals are so fun to have but you eventually have to deal with losing them and that is always heatbreaking, and very hard on kids. I agree that it would be best to let the kids know, they may already sense something is not right. Kids are more perceptive that most people give them credit for. Good luck and give your cat a nice soft pat from all of us out here.

[The_Crippler]

I may not be the biggest cat person, but I'm definitely an animal person.  Breaks your heart to see an old friend go...be they on two legs or 4 (or in the case of some of my buddies - wings.) 

I'm also not that great with kids...but I've always felt that honesty is the best way.  It sucks, but pets are a very good way to help your children understand that death is a part of life.

[myhondas]

Sorry to hear the sad news. I have had two cats that have gone. The one that ripped my heart out was hit by a car long before his time was due. Other cat that replaced him was 16 when diagnosed with diabetes and a thyroid problem. I had to put him down myself. tough stuff.

[The_Crippler]

I had to put him down myself. tough stuff.

Oh...that's terrible.  I'm sorry to hear that one. 

[bucky katt]

i saw this thread and even though this isnt my kitty, i felt something like a kick in the gut. i love animals but cats especially, i have 6 here and my oldest siamese is starting to get real old. i get a tear in my eye just think about losing Hamish. my sympathies are with you and your family. if you get another cat, be VERY sure that any bedding or toys has been washed in very hot water and a color safe bleach. the vet will be able to give you more tips. i lost 2 really special cats in less than a year and it still hurts. time to go hug the 6 little monsters i think.

[azuredesign]

I'm sorry to hear your news. I lost my two cats 2 years ago this month. The both passed within 2 weeks of each other, and I'm still sad to think about it. I hope you can find a way to break it to your kids so they'll understand. I've had cats all my life, and I've never become accustomed to this part of the custodianship.

[Kframe]

Aw man, that's awful.

We've had to put 2 pets down, and each time it was heartwrenching, even knowing it's the right and gentle thing to do.

Be straight with your kids, and I don't know how old they are but at age 15 or so I asked to be there when we put our family dog down and it was really hard, and I can't explain it but I'm glad I was there.  So, maybe give them an option.

Man, my Dad cried as hard as we did, I'm glad he let us see him like that.

Hang in there man,
-Kris

[The_Crippler]

Aw man, that's awful.

We've had to put 2 pets down, and each time it was heartwrenching, even knowing it's the right and gentle thing to do.

Be straight with your kids, and I don't know how old they are but at age 15 or so I asked to be there when we put our family dog down and it was really hard, and I can't explain it but I'm glad I was there.  So, maybe give them an option.

Man, my Dad cried as hard as we did, I'm glad he let us see him like that.

Hang in there man,
-Kris

I'd say that it says something about you that your first post to these forums is offering comfort and advice to a fellow member in pain. 

[bill440cars]

Aw man, that's awful.

We've had to put 2 pets down, and each time it was heartwrenching, even knowing it's the right and gentle thing to do.

Be straight with your kids, and I don't know how old they are but at age 15 or so I asked to be there when we put our family dog down and it was really hard, and I can't explain it but I'm glad I was there.  So, maybe give them an option.

Man, my Dad cried as hard as we did, I'm glad he let us see him like that.

Hang in there man,
-Kris

I'd say that it says something about you that your first post to these forums is offering comfort and advice to a fellow member in pain. 

        How right you are, To start off with sympathy for a fellow member, in such a sad time, is really moving!

                                            Welcome, Bill  

[bill440cars]

        I'm with the general concensus here here, I think the kids need to be carefully told also. 

        Back when I had left home, to go in the US Air Force, my Dad was gone to Army Reserves Summer Camp and my (so called) brother was away with  a cousin, my Mom had our dog "Missy" taken to the vet to be put down. Now, the thing is, there wasn't anything wrong with her. my Mom just thought that she was a bit much to deal with because she had started climbing the fence and getting out of the yard. Yeah, it was a pain in the butt, to have to run her down, praying that she didn't get run over or something. Wen we all got back home, my Mom said that Missy had apparently climbed the fence and took off. Well,  for months, every time I went out, I would keep my eye out for her. Then, one day, I thought I saw her on the other side of Little Rock and tried to get her to come to me. Only thing is, it wasn't her! When I got home, I told my parents what had happened and my Mom decided to tell us what she'd done. Now, while I was MAD, my Dad went out in the back yard and stayed out nthere for a couple of hours. When he came back in, my Mom knew she'd messed up big time and she promised NEVER to do anything like that again! And, to my knowledge, she didn't.  So, YES, please try to tell the kids about the cat's condition. I know it will be hard, but, it will be better in the long run.      

[bucky katt]

that DOES show what kind of character a new member has. good on ya Kframe. losing pets sucks

[Magpie]

Unfortunately having pets pass on is all part of the love affair we have with them. The kids must be gently told that they have reached the end of their time here will go to a better place where they can play all they want. Last month we lost out little dog after 14 1/2 years of him being a terrierist. I'm still having a very difficult time with and am getting misty now. What has helped a lot is the poem called the Rainbow Bridge. This was posted by Schmthaus and gives me some comfort, perhaps it's something you can share with your kids.


Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

This will be a difficult time for you.
Cliff.

[super pasty white guy]

Man, that hurts.

We adopted a siamese a while back, then found out that he had FLV.  Our vet told us the same, but with care, Oliver had two more years of a good life.

I can't help with your kids, but I'm hoping for the best for you.  It's really tough, but think about the love that cat got at the end.

spwg

[jtb]

Man, that's bad, Dave.  We've got 4 dogs buried in our back yard, and will have 2 more in a few years.  Animals turn in to family members, each with his or her own personality and place in the group.  Tell your kids what's happening, it's a part of life that they need to understand.  In the meantime, you are all in our thoughts.

John

[bucky katt]

sucks pretty bad that they dont live as long as we do doesnt it? i like them BETTER than the human part of my family, the part i grew up with anyways.

[Ecosse]

i wish i could say something to give comfort to you and yours, and ease the suffering of your little friend. magpie's opening comments are particularly striking and others have given sound advice too.

all i can say is that your family blessed the little one with a much better existence than otherwise would have been. doing whatever you can to minimize suffering is the most sincere expression of love in a time like this. maybe focusing on the joy each has brought the other would help. regardless, the truth is best i think.

i lost my first pet, a beagle, when i was very young, and it was hard. but i took it better than i take such things now, curiously. kids are funny that way.

[bill440cars]

Man, that's bad, Dave.  We've got 4 dogs buried in our back yard, and will have 2 more in a few years.  Animals turn in to family members, each with his or her own personality and place in the group.  Tell your kids what's happening, it's a part of life that they need to understand.  In the meantime, you are all in our thoughts.

John

    I can clearly identify with that John, I've got 4 dogs buried in my back yard, along with 4 cats as well and might possibly have another cat there within a few months.

    John is right, they need to know. It IS tough at times, but things will work out. Seems like kids are better able to understand things at an earlier age now days, than they used to.  Our thoughts and Prayers ARE with you all. After all, as we all know, our pets are a BIG part of our lives!

[The_Crippler]

Seems like kids are better able to understand things at an earlier age now days, than they used to.

I've often found that children, in general, are far better at dealing with things than we give them credit for.  More than once in my life, I've had a child put a rough moment into perspective for me.  Just remember:  They look to us for cues in life.

[demon78]

For one reason and another I've had to put down a fair amount of Felines and it still hurts, one, who was a great cat, a mother, a grand mother and one that was so integrated with the family that she would attack any thing that she thought would hurt her family, humans and kittens, I basically held her hand (paw) while the poison stopped her heart and I still think about it. It is not easy, humans cognizant humans at least you can look at and say #$%* happens, it doesn't make it right or good, but #$%* does happen, a dumb animal that gives their all, it's a little harder, as far as kids go tell them straight up because later in life they have to be prepared for the senseless crap that goes on. Some times we are too soft with our children we don't want them to experience the outside world and I agree, if they are really young why twist their heads with the devils of society, but at some point you're not doing them favours by sugar coating the human experience.
Bill the demon.

[medic09]

Really sorry to hear this Dave.

In general, I'd say keep your kids involved.  Ask the vet for advice, too; they've probably done this with families before.

I kitties are young and seemingly healthy; but our dogs are getting noticeably older all of a sudden.  We all dread this.

[bucky katt]

i'm dreading the loss of Hamish, he's really slowed down over the past year. gonna be a bad day in my house when that day comes

[Frankenkit]

My first cat, GC was feral most of his life until my parents adopted him and had his battle wounds treated.  He was with us three years before our vet said he had FLV.

He lasted another half year with it, and my mom was set on him passing at home 'naturally' but seeing him in pain as a child, I do wish as an adult that my folks would have ended his pain more quickly and humanely when the time came.  I understand, though, that that's a hard decision to make, and I wouldn't want to be the one to make it.

Much warmth and peace to you and yours.  I hope the best possible for your little girl kitty.

[bucky katt]

My first cat, GC was feral most of his life until my parents adopted him and had his battle wounds treated.  He was with us three years before our vet said he had FLV.

He lasted another half year with it, and my mom was set on him passing at home 'naturally' but seeing him in pain as a child, I do wish as an adult that my folks would have ended his pain more quickly and humanely when the time came.  I understand, though, that that's a hard decision to make, and I wouldn't want to be the one to make it.

Much warmth and peace to you and yours.  I hope the best possible for your little girl kitty.

seems like, alot of times, that feral ones end up being the best pets dont they? Asparagus was born feral and he's the sweetest, most docile cat ever

[DavePhipps]

Drinking a beer and tears are flowing into it. Bella (sick kitty) is at my feet sleeping. I told the kids today. There was lots of saddness and tears. Everyone is now going out og thier way to  make Bella happier during the time she has with us.
Thanks for the kind words and advice everyone.

[bill440cars]

Drinking a beer and tears are flowing into it. Bella (sick kitty) is at my feet sleeping. I told the kids today. There was lots of saddness and tears. Everyone is now going out og thier way to  make Bella happier during the time she has with us.
Thanks for the kind words and advice everyone.

           Absolutely changes the whole outlook at a time like that and understandably so. Thing is though, Bella will be the center of attention and our pets are SO SPECIAL that they are deserving of that attention. Besides, like you said, the effort is there to make Bella very comfortable and happy.Something like that really brings the family together to focus on the pet and that is something. We had done that for our "Sam". Poor old  (and I do mean old, she was almost 20yrs old, when her time came!) Sam loved the outdoors and towards the last of her days, I took a cat litter box (the enclosed kind), mounted a plain porch light in it, put some rugs and such in it and positioned it by my garage, to where the wind and rain would not get in it and that cat stayed out there in that "home" that I had fixed up and would NOT stay indoors. She seemed to love it out there. Towards the end, she had gotten deaf (her meows were more like "Screams" and she had arthritis in her hips which made it hard for her to get around as well. That Cat Home stayed pretty warm with the light in there and when it was cold and/or rainy, she would be in her "home". I would check on her several times a day and if she was in her Home, she would talk to me, as soon as she realized I was there. Yeah, even though we knew her days were numbered, it was sad when she passed on.

                    The things we do for our pets.   My Prayers are with Bella AND you all, cause she IS family.    

[Kframe]

Loving pets and people, and the way we feel when we lose them is part of what makes us so human. 
It hurts, but if you and your family hurt together it does make it better and will bring you closer.

As a critical care nurse I've seen many families go through this with their relatives, and in every case everyone was glad they were there, in spite of or because of how hard it was. 

Peace to you and your kids, and of course your dear cat.
 
-K

[Ecosse]

dave, my thoughts are with your little friend tonight.

[GoatBaSS]

Never Easy.
Thanks for the perspective.
Via Con Dios.