Topic: Infidelity

[DavePhipps]

I'd like to thank everyone for their support here.
The wife and I  had a long talk, about a three day long talk.
It turns out that after our last big argument she decided to look elsewhere for comfort. It didn't go as far as I thought it had gone but it went far enough to hurt on hell of a lot.
There is no one side that is fully fault in this. She and I both have our issues. I know what alot of mine are and I'm trying to deal with them for mine and my families sake. I'm doing this regardless of keeping the marriage together.
My wife on the other hand is not sure what her issues are and so  we are going to try counseling. I do love her and want to try and make this work. I just want to make sure that  she will actually be trying also.
I've now removed our biggest roadblock to communicating. It was my reaction to her getting angry with my kids and I. She would be so unreasonable that I would get angry too. I'm not even close to nice or polite when I'm angry. I explode like an atomic bomb. Then we get  stuck arguing, yelling, and nothing gets resolved.
I've now made myself keep control when she gets angry. I  tell her that this is the type of situation that made me explode, and I'm trying not to. She then calms down and can talk.
There are many more issues and hopefully we can get those resolved.
However if she ever tries another affair, I will never talk to her again. There will be lawyers involved, one nasty custody battle, and a house lost.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.

Dave

[Inigo Montoya]

I think I can speak for most if not all of us when I say good luck.
I would still do a simple consult with a lawyer, just in case. Just to cover your butt in the even that things still go south.
I am not saying to stop counseling, nothing like that at all. Just find out options. AS G.I. Joe would say, "knowing is half the battle."

[CaféElite]

Glad to hear you guys are trying to work it out. Because of that I will keep any other opinions I might have to myself since I dont think they will help your situation except one. I dont know your money situation but I suggest trying to save up around 2500 dollars (more if possible) in a hidden account that way if things dont work out you then money will be the least of your worries.

Good luck..

[Operator]

I am not saying to hang on when you should be letting go, I am saying that if you both want it to work out and you really believe she is worth the fight, don't give up

[my78k]

Not much to add other than support here...I am glad you are aa least trying to save it. All too often people give up too easily. I am not saying that EVERY marriage can be saved but I am sure that through open and honest communication SOME can be.

As to still seeking a lawyer's advice...if you do don't get found out! Nothing would sink things faster than having her find out you are getting legal advice behind her back when she thinks you guys are trying to save it.

Dennis

[Johnny5]

Dude, that sucks.

My wife and I separated for almost a year and it was the worst time of my life. We decided to hit counseling together and are now together strong. That was about three years ago. Marriage takes some serious commitment from both sides, that's for sure.

Take care of yourself and your kids.

[medic09]

I pray, Dave, that this will work well and that you and she will find comfort and security together.

[GoatBaSS]

AMEN.

[Hope]

My parents died young, but they were married for a long time.  I know now why the workshop had cable, air, heat, and a refrigerator.  Sometimes each of you need your own time and space.  When you start working full time, you will probably feel better about the situation.  Hopefully everything works out for you.

[demon78]

Luck from the demon, all good.
Bill the demon.

[coldright]

I'm glad to hear that you are talking and trying to figure things out.  It's much easier to walk away than to stay and work things out.  I'm hopeful for you and your wife.  Regardless of which path this takes, make sure to take care of yourself.  Be well. 

[Operator]

Just checking in to see how things are progressing