Topic: October The 3rd, Would Have Been Brenda's 58th Birthday

[bill440cars]

I wanted to put this in here because of Brenda's Birthday AND about how Karla (my Daughter) has held up so well:

       Wished that she (Brenda) could have been here for her Birthday, but she's not and I'm learning to accept that (have no other choice). Karla and I went to the florist's yesterday and she picked out the arrangement for us to put on her Mother's grave. Karla  is still holding up well (seems like TOO well, I keep expecting to have to console her, but she just keeps going. Now Karla talks about how she just can't believe her Mother is gone and that she should just be gone somewhere and coming back just anytime (she's heard ME say those same things and now, she's saying the same things like I did and means it just as much). Like I've said, I'm so glad that she didn't suffer, but I would give anything if I could have had more time to at least attempt to prepare for this, there's so much I'd like to have said to her. Now, I CAN say it, but won't get a response though. I HAVE realized though that (because of attention that a waitress at one of the places we take my Dad to, she started seeming to pay more attention to me and it felt good) I Do need some time with another woman, if nothing else, for "companionship". Someone to talk to, to maybe take a walk in the park with. Someone to listen while I just talk, and respond back with conversation, you know? Even though I've got Karla and my Dad, it's like "Me Against The World, You Know?" I could call my Mother-in-law or my Sister-in-law, but they'd end up crying (and I'd probably end up joining them), so that's no good. There I go, I had NO INTENTION of this being about ME, but about Brenda and Karla! Gotta go,   Bill 

[Inkscars]

Happy Birthday Brenda.
She hears you Bill. 

[Achmed]

I can't really imagine what it must be like. You DO sound like you're doing pretty well. I can tell that you love her.

[MickeyX]

Happy Birthday, Brenda.  

[bill440cars]

I appreciate the responses and would like to add something that is maybe a bit personal, but here it is anyway.

       It starts like this, Our Daughter Karla was raised mainly on the 50's and 60's Rock and Roll music, with a little of the Country music of the same era.  Well, as time went on and Karla was growing up, she kind of added more Country to her liking. A little while back SHE introduced Brenda and me to Josh Turner and there was ONE SO NG that he did, that really summed up my feelin's and I BOUGHT that CD of his and stayed after it until I knew the whole song and, when I was comfortable with it (doing the best I could, because I can't really sing that well), we were in the van one day and I played that CD. I wish you could have seem her face when I started singing THAT SONG! She was SO MOVED, she couldn't talk for a bit, she just sat there, with tears in her eyes (like I have right now) and listened and after It was finished, she told me that I did that song REALLY WELL and how much she appreciated it. I got to where I would play that song once, each time we were in the van and she always just sat and listened and I knew she was enjoying it. After she passed away, I couldn't bring myself to play it for a while. Then, about a month had passed and I found myself putting it in
, playing it and singing it and each time that I have played it since, I have problems with my eyes, so I don't do it anymore, with anyone else around. THat song I am talking about is, "Your Man"  by Josh Turner. If things work right, here it is (if it DOESN'T WORK RIGHT, could someone FIX IT?

             DAMN,  NOW I FIND THAT I CAN'T JUST PUT IT ON HERE So, if it's not too much trouble, could you all, just type in "Josh Turner/ Your Man" and go to it? I really want you all to hear this song, it says it all.              

                

        In fact, here are the lyrics:

          Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low
Put some music on that's soft and slow
Baby we ain't got no place to go
I hope you understand

I’ve been thinking 'bout this all day long
Never felt a feeling quite this strong
I can't believe how much it turns me on
Just to be your man

There's no hurry
Don't you worry
We can take OUR time
Come a little closer
Lets go over
What I had in mind

Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low
Put some music on that's soft and slow
Baby we ain't got no place to go
I hope you understand

I’ve been thinking 'bout this all day long
Never felt a feeling quite this strong
I can't believe how much it turns me on
Just to be your man

Ain't nobody ever loved nobody
The way that I love you
We're alone now
You don't how
Long I’ve wanted to

Lock the door and turn the lights down low
Put some music on that's soft and slow
Baby we ain't got no place to go
I hope you understand

I’ve been thinking bout this all day long
never felt a feeling that was quite this strong
I can't believe how much it turns me on
Just to be your man
I Can't believe how much it turns me on
Just to be your man

[MickeyX]

Here ya go Bill and Brenda. Have a nice "dance" to it...  Many hugs from Kit and MickeyX.

[bill440cars]

                                                      Thank You!

[bill440cars]

           My apologies folks, Last night I was trying to put that Josh Turner video on, because I I felt the need to an, when things wouldn't go right, I guess it was just the last straw. I put a lot of feelin' in that song and Brenda took it EXACTLY the way I intended and when I would go through that song for her, it was as if "We Were The Only Ones There!" Simply put, I MISS her!


          Thank you to Kit and Mickey