(I modified this slightly for us SOHC/4 riders... Enjoy!)
HOW MEN AND WOMEN CHANGE THE OIL
WOMEN:
1. Pull in to the local Honda dealer when the mileage reaches 1000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained bike.
Money Spent:
$20.00 Oil Change
$1.00 Coffee
----------------
$21.00 Total
MEN:
1. Go to auto parts store and write a check for $20 dollars for kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree. Proceed to Honda dealer and write a check for $40 for oil and a filter.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack bike up. Spend 30 minutes looking for bike stands.
5. Find bike stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 17mm box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Remove oil filter housing and have it dribble on the floor 1/4 inch from the lip of the drain pan.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Remove drain plug from oil tank, have half of it run all over frame of bike.
15. Go through entire roll of paper towels cleaning up the mess.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath bike.
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during steps 11, 12, 14 and 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter, making sure to install new O-rings on housing and filter bolt first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into oil tank.
24. Remember drain plug from step 14.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on sidecover in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left breast.
32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 2 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower motorcycle from stands.
38. Accidentally crush one of the bike stands.
39. Move bike back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
40. Test ride bike.
41. Get pulled over; arrested for riding under the influence.
42. Bike gets impounded.
43. Make bail. Get bike from impound yard.
Money Spent:
$60 parts
$12 beer
$1000 Bail
$200 Impound and towing fee
---------------------------
$1272 Total
