Topic: A lesson for all of us!?

[mick750F]

[quote Hmmmmnnnnn, bit of a problem that, I ate all 32 ounces, and I think it's "bunged me up"? It's been so long since I had a decent dump it's just a faded memory, and my stomach's so distended I can use it for a TV dinner tray! Hell right now I can hardly reach the keyboard! Anybody know if there's an antidote? I think my #$%*'s healing over? help me, anyone? Please..................   

   Sorry to hear about your plumbing problem Terry but you were warned. You couldn't resist the allure of the cheese they call Easy though could you? I told you not to eat that stuff too fast. Was it all in one sitting? I guess not or you wouldn't be typing never mind reaching the keyboard. That's it for you mate! You're on rations now. From now on it's one can at a time. And just so you don't overdose again I suggest we start a thread to alert other members when we've sent a can. That way we can moniter your intake. After all, the last thing any of us want is to lose you to Easy Cheese, that fine product from Kraft.
    And please, stay clear of your family and dog until this problem blows....over. 

Mike

   

[mick750F]

   Oh, as far as your ahhh...blockage. Try this...
http://shop.store.yahoo.com/physlabs/071342.html

Enjoy  

Mike

[mrblasty]

The only antidote for easy cheese over dose and the anal callus you are suffering from is a broom handle with a wad of steel wool stapled to the end inserted a good foot and a half, then you will need to do a few sets of jumping jacks to get thing moving again.
 God luck.

[Bob Wessner]

 

[Terry in Australia]

Well it's all good again guys, I should have realised all along that the only cure for imported cheese treats is a big dose of ol' Doctor Vegemite, Australia's greatest "cure-all"! I administered a boiling Vegemite enema while swilling a pint of warm Vegemite/Bundaberg Rum, and it was like Hurricane Katrina was unleashed in my lower tract! Ka-bloooey!

Man, so much was coming out of me I had to stand on the seat to break contact! I reckon I lost half my body weight! Anyway, I spent all last night in the can, I read the whole of Dan Brown's "The DaVinci Code", then used every preceding page to wipe my ass between spasms! Man, it was so bad that my neighbours complained that the constant flushing kept them awake all night, but were polite enough not to mention the violent explosions of noise that heralded another "mother lode", and vile cloud of orange methane that hung over the neighborhood until a strong westerly wind dissapated it in the early hours of the morning, thank God!

Steve, I'm so sorry that I let you down, I know i promised not to eat it all in one sitting, but the temptation was just too great mate, and then Tom (El Cheapo) "slipped" me a can of yellow gold as well, and well, before i knew it, the cans were all just "dead soldiers" rolling around my rumpus room floor, bumping into several empty "Chicken in a Biscuit" boxes. Anyway, I promise that if you guys continue to send me cans of "Beelzebubs best bowel blocker" or perhaps "Gods Yellow glue" I'll ensure that I carefully follow your directions this time around, and no near catastrophe's requiring an internal remedy of Chernobyl proportions to sort my digestive system! Cheers, Terry.

[heffay]

dammit terry... i am speechless... and i hope to god that you are #$%*less because i really do not want a repeat of this thread!

I WAS EATING!

was,  being the key word.

[Dennis]

......as BryanJ has mentioned in another thread, there are things going on in my life at this time that make every day a struggle. It is difficult to be in good spirits.
However after reading Terry's descriprion of his foolish exploits with the EC, I am ROFLMAO.
Thanks Terry, I really needed something to brighten my day.
Sorry it had to be at your expense and physical discomfort. Of course your writing style does contribute to the amusement value.

[mick750F]

Steve, I'm so sorry that I let you down, I know i promised not to eat it all in one sitting, but the temptation was just too great mate, and then Tom (El Cheapo) "slipped" me a can of yellow gold as well, and well, before i knew it, the cans were all just "dead soldiers" rolling around my rumpus room floor, bumping into several empty "Chicken in a Biscuit" boxes. Anyway, I promise that if you guys continue to send me cans of "Beelzebubs best bowel blocker" or perhaps "Gods Yellow glue" I'll ensure that I carefully follow your directions this time around, and no near catastrophe's requiring an internal remedy of Chernobyl proportions to sort my digestive system! Cheers, Terry.

   Well, well, well Terry...Steve is it? Who the Hell is Steve. I can see that you're not nearly as recovered as you seem to think you are. Memory loss, confusion, disassociation, delusions of good health...all signs of someone in the throws of Easy Cheese withdrawal. Steady man, we're here to see you through it.

   I do hope your plumbing, in the house that is, hasn't suffered too much because of your indulgences. That could be a costly repair. And your neighbors...I wish i had such forgiving souls living next to me.

   Now, as you withdraw you might want to try some individually wrapped slices of American Cheese. There's not much American about it, nor is there much cheese about it, but you could consider it to be the methadone of Easy Cheese addiction.

   Good luck and good health...it may be a little late for good health.

Mike...see that...it's Mike

[Uncle Ernie]

I don't know what easy cheese is, but it sounds like it might substitute for bear spray...

[Dennis]

I don't know what easy cheese is, but it sounds like it might substitute for bear spray...

After thinking about that for just a few seconds ...... the answer is ......no, not even close!   

[Terry in Australia]

   Well, well, well Terry...Steve is it? Who the Hell is Steve? Mike...see that...it's Mike

Sorry Mike, not sure if that was the fatigue or the Vegemite/Bundy "flush" causing my calling you Steve, I don't know who the hell Steve is either! Man I am so tired, and my butthole is still burning! Anyway, I'll be ok again in a couple of days, so Send more cheese mate! Ha ha, Cheers, Terry. (did you get your vegemite?)

[mick750F]

   The vegemite watch is still on. Does it seem like it's taking too long to get here? Anticipation can substitute for only so long. I may have to drink a bottle of Moxie to take my mind off it.

Mike

[Sam Green Racing]

Terry, I am not in the least worried about your health as you seem to bring it on to your self,...what I am worried about, is this orange methane cloud.

Which way was it blowing?

The reason I ask is, we in the UK have sent a rather large black cloud your way last week from Hemel Hempstead.

If the two should meet over India, we might see the end of Royal Enfield

Sam.

[Terry in Australia]

Terry, I am not in the least worried about your health as you seem to bring it on to your self,...what I am worried about, is this orange methane cloud.

Which way was it blowing?

The reason I ask is, we in the UK have sent a rather large black cloud your way last week from Hemel Hempstead.

If the two should meet over India, we might see the end of Royal Enfield

Sam.

G'Day Sam, I actually owned an original 1948 British (not Indian) RE and I can tell you that if there is another disaster in India of "Bhophal" (remember that?) proportions, I certainly hope the RE factory is at "ground zero", ha ha! Cheers, Terry.  

[Jim Shea]

Terry,
Are there any bikes you DO like, other than the one you own?? 
Also, how many bike manufactureres are there in OZ?
Jim.

[Terry in Australia]

Terry,
Are there any bikes you DO like, other than the one you own?? 
Also, how many bike manufactureres are there in OZ?
Jim.

Hey Jimmy, there are only a couple of "on again, off again" bike manufacturers here in Oz, we don't have the bike riding population (well there's only 20 million people in the whole country) to support a bigger industry. Having said that of course, with a country with the population like Britains, I'm still surprised that you guys have only Triumph to call your own? Luckily, the new Triumphs are great bikes! Cheers, Terry.

[Sam Green Racing]

We have CCM as well but with imported motors.

[74cb750]

looked like a car was doing a lane change as he came up the inside, and he was effectively crushed between two cars. Surprisingly the bike didn't look too bad, the cops had put it on it's sidestand and I had plenty of time to look at it as I waited for everyone to pack up the dead biker and move all their vehicles off the freeway so we could all continue our daily commute. the scene stayed with me for awhile, and every time I see fools "lane splitting" between slow moving vehicles at unsafe speeds I think about the Harley guy................ Cheers, Terry. Sad   

I don't use Bear Spray, just my massive bulk scares the stuffing out of any/all miscreats. Plus I carry a 40kilo  sledgehammer latched onto my handlebars , a Mossburg strapped to my shoulder and a Ruger .44 magnum on my hip. Just in case.

We don't need to do lane changes in Vermont, as you can pass on double yellow marked lanes, ie, there are no "non-passing lanes" in Vermont unless a sign says so.....and besides almost never any traffic tye ups to speak of.