Topic: Everything I know, I learned from TV

[TwoTired]

71. You can shoot a 3 inch barrel pistol actuately at any distance with the gun held on it's side.

72.  95% of the time if someone is hit with a bullet he is instantly dead, unless he is necessary to the plot, in which case he will be completely healed and have full use and strength of all his appendages in 5 minutes.

73. Spraying a crowd of 50 people with a machine gun and 20 round capacity magazine, kills the entire crowd and they are all instantly motionless.

74. Snaping the revolver wheel shut with a quick twist of the wrist is routinely performed with your duty gun and it remains reliable.

75. Fingers are always on triggers regardless of where the gun is pointing.

Cycling the pump action shotgun multiple times as a scare tactic never ejects loaded cartidges.

[skamania19]

76. No one on TV watches TV, or even owns a TV.
77. Annoying neighbors can walk in anytime without knocking and it's perfectly OK.

[74cb750]

78. Your neighbors plow out your driveway before you wake up. (oh wait my neighbors already do that!   )

[grumburg]

79. You can tail someone 5 feet off their bumper 10 miles from the nearest hghway, and they don't notice.

[ElCheapo]

80. In a chase if you have the bad guys following you, you can always get the attention of a cop and they will stop the bad guys and let you go.

[74cb750]

66a. Actually, you CAN squel tires on dirt roads, not sure about the grass tho.

81. Riding in a convertable never musses your beehive hairdo.
82 Pot smokers get high on the first hit.
83. Beer drinkers can drink a six-pac in 5 minutes and still talk without slurring their words.

[Uncle Ernie]

84. Too many bad guys talk about the past and go into detail about why they're about to shoot you until help comes and shoots HIM.  Mr, if I ever pull a gun on you, I'm gonna shoot your butt and run like hell!

[ElCheapo]

84. Too many bad guys talk about the past and go into detail about why they're about to shoot you until help comes and shoots HIM.  Mr, if I ever pull a gun on you, I'm gonna shoot your butt and run like hell!

Also see..#48. Arch villians either die or are foiled right after they begin to mono-log 

[Jughead]

85 Alcohol doesn't Affect Cowboy's.

[ElCheapo]

86. In winter movie scenes the snow on the curb is never tainted with dirt or discolored.

[74cb750]

87. The older the 'biker chics' are, is directly proportional to the quality of the movie.
88. The headlights always cut right through fog, even at 90mph.
89. The guys are always sensitive, ie, know when their girls need a hug, and when the bike needs gas.
90. The bike driver can be shot at by 4 guys with machine guns and not get hit in a chase, BUT he pulls out his pistol and shoots the car driver in between the eyes on his first shot, and maintains controlat hgih rates of speed.
91, The biker never has to use raingear.

[ElCheapo]

87. The older the 'biker chics' are, is directly proportional to the quality of the movie.
88. The headlights always cut right through fog, even at 90mph.
89. The guys are always sensitive, ie, know when their girls need a hug, and when the bike needs gas.
90. The bike driver can be shot at by 4 guys with machine guns and not get hit in a chase, BUT he pulls out his pistol and shoots the car driver in between the eyes on his first shot, and maintains controlat hgih rates of speed.
91, The biker never has to use raingear.

Just like real life... Bikers are Gods

[DiscoEd]

92.) Even though the good guy is doing 200 MPH, he can always grab another gear.
93.) In space we can always hear explosions.
94.) In space we can see the exhaust plume of a starfighter.
95.) Humans can mix and mingle with other beings without the threat of biological contamination. (War of the Worlds excepted)

[ElCheapo]

96.) Good guys are usually comprised of bad guys that switch from good to bad when they need to break all of the above rules.

[ElCheapo]

97.) Anyone who walks the street in Canada is involved in drugs, murder, and postitution

[Gordon]

97.) Anyone who walks the street in Canada is involved in drugs, murder, and postitution

The funny thing about that is it also happens to be true.

[ElCheapo]

97.) Anyone who walks the street in Canada is involved in drugs, murder, and postitution

The funny thing about that is it also happens to be true.

Now I am dying  , ROTFLMAO