Topic: Well, Tomorrow (Jan. 8, 2010), WOULD Have Been My 39th Wedding Anniversary!

[bill440cars]

         Yes, it WOULD have been AND Jan. 1,2010 was 6 Months that my Wife Brenda Has Been Gone. It has Really Been a Devastating experience. I can Truthfully say that without my Lord and Savior, My Daughter, My Friends Locally AND My Vast Family Here at the SOHC4, I would NOT have made it. Ever so often, I sit down and read through the Thread About Brenda (6 times now, I think). And, it just REALLY Sets me Back, at how much the support came rolling in! Oh, I knew (or I THOUGHT I knew) how you all would react and I VERY QUICKLY found out that I truly underestimated the response I would receive from you all. I Owe each and everyone of YOU a great debt of Gratitude! Simple words can not express how I feel each and every time I sit down and read through the response that you all have posted. I don't care if each one simply said they were sorry and that was all. Each and every response means SO MUCH to me! I feel so very fortunate to have found this place when I did AND I have NEVER regretted getting to the point that I call this place HOME and YOU ALL, Family! To put it mildly, THIS has been a REAL TEST!   

              Tomorrow (Jan, 8th) I I have to get my Daughter and Joey (I work with him) to work and take care of my Dad's blood sugar check and give him his insulin. Then , I am going for Breakfast and then to the Florist to pick out an arrangement, then I'll go to the Cemetery to place it there and meditate some, then I'm spending some quite time at home for a bit, then I'm going to the restaurant where Brenda really liked to go for Special Occasions, have a quiet meal by myself in a small room that the restaurant has several of, then back to our Home for some more of time to myself, (It's too bad that it's going to be so unusually cold or I would get out the GTX for the entire day, instead the minivan will have to do and BTW, Brenda really like the van AND especially the red that it is painted!), then around 5:30, I will go get Karla and Joey and my Personal time will be over for now. She was ONE in a MILLION and I was SO VERY VERY Fortunate to have MET and been able to Marry HER and Have Her for as long as I did! I was just GREEDY and wanted her to be with ME for the Rest Of Our Lives! She was always so sure that the Lord was going to come back and take us ALL home with him! But, It Just Wasn't In His Plan!


                          A Big Thank You To ALL Of The SOHC4 Family, Bill

[bill440cars]

        This is IT! MY day of Special Remembrance of BRENDA AND the last 38 and one half years together ( I don't want to think of the last 6 months, at least NOT TODAY!

        The Dream It started off with was my Gift from HER!

[Rocking-M]

Bill, have a great day out there in frigid Arkansas. Best wishes to you on this day of remembrance.

[Johnie]

What do you mean "would have been 39 years." It still is Bill. May I offer my congrats on 39 wonderful years!!! She is still YOUR girl!!! This July Paula and I will hit 31 years. I can still remember giving Paula her first ride on my Honda when she was a sophomore in high school. Time sure flies when you are having fun.

[bill440cars]

Bill, have a great day out there in frigid Arkansas. Best wishes to you on this day of remembrance.

           Started out a about 9, with a 4 degree windchill and has come up to 11, but still a 4 degree windchill!  I guess nobody told the "Wind Chill" that it should try to come on up with the temp.

           Thank you Robert, I was going to go to "OUR" place to eat, but just realized that I can't bring myself to do it. I thought it would be the thing to do AND I really thought I could pull it off. But, I just can't do it, not yet! The day DID start off with a REALLY NICE dream, with us being together just enjoying each others company and when I tried to talk to her about what happened, she wouldn't let me go there and indicated that she just wanted to enjoy the time we had. Then, as I was waking up, I thanked her, because I believe the Dream was a present from Brenda. It was AWESOME, to say the least. Instead of going to that restaurant, I'm just going to spend the day (or MOST of it), reminiscing and wiping my eyes. Damn, I feel like an OLD softie!    

[bill440cars]

What do you mean "would have been 39 years." It still is Bill. May I offer my congrats on 39 wonderful years!!! She is still YOUR girl!!! This July Paula and I will hit 31 years. I can still remember giving Paula her first ride on my Honda when she was a sophomore in high school. Time sure flies when you are having fun.

         Johnie, I guess I was just trying to be realistic, but it wasn't working anyway.
 Yeah, it was 39yrs ago today, that Brenda and I got married. Funny thing, on Jan. the 98th of 1970, it was on a Friday as well. I hadn't thought of that. Yeah, we got married that evening, got up Saturday morning and watched road runner cartoons. Always been hooked on the road runner Cartoons AND Car! Just MORE evidence that Brenda and ME meeting and getting married, was PURE DESTINY! I mean, I Loved the road runners (cars and cartoons), I traded the Charger for a road runner, SHE had a road runner AND we BOTH were hooked on the road runner cartoons. Also, Brenda hated eggs, but that morning after getting married, she was going to fix eggs, bacon and toast for my first breakfast and asked how I wanted my eggs. Well, I told her "Over easy" (I can and would eat them however they turned out though). I got dressed and went into the kitchen, as she was throwing something out and I asked her what she was doing? Seems she had broken the yellow on the eggs and threw them out! I quickly told her that, I would LIKE to have them over easy, but would take them however they turned out and I appreciated her wanting to do them like I asked. So many years ago and yet so quickly, she was gone. We REALLY WERE a team! A team that I never imagined would EVER be separated. To lose Physical
contact with her so suddenly, just really tore me up. That dream this morning, was SO SPECIAL and I was SO AT PEACE. Now, it is another memory. I could sleep for ever, if my dream was to be like that one.
                      Here I am, rambling on, I need to go, Thank You again, Bill

[bill440cars]

   Brenda, the way she looked, when I met her:

  

  On our Wedding Day Jan 8, 1970:

  

  Us leaving the Church in MY road runner (nicely decorated by my NEW Sister & Brothers-in-law    ) BTW, I had had a flat on the left rear and we didn't want HER road runner to be all "decorated".

  


    Now, presently, This 69' GTX (which has features of BOTH of our 69' road runners, is MY Tribute to Brenda, to show my Love, Admiration And Affection that I have had for her since the FIRST time I laid eyes on HER!


                                     Here's To YOU, BRENDA!
  

        





  She will ALWAYS be available online, here:  
 http://www.mem.com/ContentDisplay.aspx?ID=14194607

[bill440cars]

   Well, MOST of my plans for the day went well. Things were going according to what I had planned, but, as the time grew near for me to go to that restaurant, I just couldn't GO and be there by myself. Call me whatever, but I just could not go there and have a meal, pretending that I was together with this. I just lost it, that's all. So, I just kinda hung around the house. One of the ladies from Bost called and talked to me for a bit (she knew the situation and us, so her talk helped some). Then there was a delivery from the florist and Karla (my Daughter) had ordered a really nice flower arangement to have delivered to me. Those 2 things were really nice, but the best part of the whole day was the dream I had just before waking up. That dream of me being with Brenda, was so fantastic and could have only been a Wedding Anniversary Gift from Brenda, to help me start this day off right.

 

[TE 450 Pilot]

Although i do not know you personally , it seem obvious to me that she may have been just as lucky to have been married to you .

Continue to live your live the way that would make her proud.

Randy

[bill440cars]

Although i do not know you personally , it seem obvious to me that she may have been just as lucky to have been married to you .

Continue to live your live the way that would make her proud.

Randy

           Thank you for that Randy, We Knew that it was meant to be AND both of us were just Too stubborn (Her German Heritage & MY Dutch Heritage) for the marriage to NOT work!

                                              Take care, Bill

[clarkjh]

Bill
I haven't really been keeping track of the other thread, but even though Brenda isn't here in body she is in your heart and soul.  So it still is 39 years, congrats.
James

[bill440cars]

Bill
I haven't really been keeping track of the other thread, but even though Brenda isn't here in body she is in your heart and soul.  So it still is 39 years, congrats.
James

           Thanks for that James, Johnie has also brought that to mind. I think both of you for enlightening me on that. It IS a fact that we were married 39years ago AND She DID give me an AWESOME gift this morning (an awesome dream of us being together, enjoying each others company and it was SO REAL that I THOUGHT IT WAS! Til I woke up! But I was SO happy while having that dream, I wasn't upset when I woke up, I simply said,"Thank You Brenda!" Yeah, I know she is in my Heart AND Soul, but I LONG SO MUCH, to hold her again!

          I was talking to my Dad about the dream this morning and about how I keep having these "Ups and Downs". We lost my Mom back on Feb 2002 and after nearly 8 years, my Dad still has some problems with that. I did for a while, but I seemed to have accepted HER death AND my Sister's. But I don't think I'll EVER completely get over Brenda's. She was my EVERYTHING!

          You ARE right though, Brenda will be with me FOREVER, in THAT way!

[78 k550]

Paul

[bill440cars]

Paul

              

       Bill