Here's the others .....full list....
Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think.
Murphy's Third Law: In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Murphy's Tenth Law: Mother Nature is a #$%*.
Murphy's Eleventh Law: It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
Humiston's Law: When you are up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that your original intention
was to drain the swamp.
Schmidt's Observation: All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
Nick the Greek's Law of Life: All things considered, life is 9 to 5 against.
Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Nowlan's Theory: He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next freeway exit.
Van Roy's Law: Honesty is the best policy-there's less competition.
Van Roy's Truism: Life is a whole series of circumstances beyond your control.
Johnny Carson's Observation on Geriatrics: Sex in the sixties is great, but it improves if you pull over to the side of the road.
The Law of Comparative Pleasure: Sex: even when it's bad, it's good.
Agnes'Law: Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
Westlake's Sage Remark: Love is never having to say how much.
Billings' Notes: (l) Sex has no calories. (2) Infants don't have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery.
(3) A dirty old man is just a sexually active senior citizen.
Larkin's Law: Sex is only dirty-if it's done right.
Clarke's Conclusion: Never let your sense of morals interfere with doing the right thing.
Kesell's Law: If a man writes a better book, preaches a better sermon, or beds a better whore than his neighbor,
though he builds his domicile deep in the woods, the world will beat a path to his door to find out who the better whore was.
Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Governments: No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
Dr. Nordstrom's First Rule of Debate: It is difficult to win an argument when your opponent is unencumbered
with a knowledge of the facts.
Katz's Law: Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Glomm's Law: The strong take from the weak, the rich take from the poor, and the government takes from everyone.
Nowlan's Truism: An "acceptable level of unemployment" means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
Long's Axiom: An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
Lani's Principles of Economics: (1) Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed. (2) One hundred dollars placed at 7 per cent interest compounded quarterly for two hundred years will increase to more than $100 million, by which time it will be worth nothing. (3) In God we trust; all others pay cash.
Peter's Principle: In every hierarchy, whether it be government or business, each employee tends to rise to his
level of incompetence; every post tends to be filled by an employee incompetent to execute its duties.
Peter's Corollaries: (1) Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place. (2) Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. (3) If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
Fletcher's Flagrant Rumination: Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
Stovall's Law of Negative Inaction: The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
Sousa's Principle of Lecture: If you can't baffle them with brilliance, befuddle them with BS.
Saul Lavisky's Observation: Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
Long's Note: Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Hodghead's Cynicism: A husband (or wife) is a person who sticks with you through troubles you wouldn't have had if you hadn't married him (or her) in the first place.
Hufstader's Insight: Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
The Weather-Report Rule: Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.
Firestone's Law of Forecasting: Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Saunder's Slant: There is always free cheese in a mousetrap.
John Newhern's Law: People can be divided into three groups: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
Goda's Truism: By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Zall's Laws: (l) Any time you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you do will be wrong.
(2) How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.'
Ettore's Observation: The line you are not in, moves faster.
Cann's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
Macaluso's Doctrine: You've never been as sick as just before you stop breathing.
Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
The Carpenter's Quandary: Oops, I cut it off again and it's still too short.
Harvard's Law: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
The Law of Selective Gravity, or the Buttered-Side-Down Law: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Stale's Law: No matter how careful one is in resealing the inner liner in a cereal box, it will tear where it is glued to the box.
William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
Lowery's Law: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
The Corollary to Anthony's Law of the Workshop: On its way to the corner, any dropped tool will always first strike your toes.
Flucard's Corollary: Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.
