Topic: Hey All, After 40yrs, I've Just Gotten My 1st Date! IT WAS A BUST!

[MickeyX]

Hey Bill, glad to hear you have a date. I see the "married" word thrown in here and there, and I have to tell you, from a woman's point of view, you need to let that go for now. That's a lot of pressure to put on a 1st date and it's not fair to her or you. I know you don't mean it like that, but don't go there. I realize you are lonely. Tell yourself you are going to try to be a good friend to her because, she could have emotional stuff on her side to work out too after all these years. Be her friend, she'll be yours and help each other. You have to get beyond the past, sometimes with the help of the other, before you should even think of going into another life relationship in that way. Slow down. I know your excited, and you should be, but... it's a 1st date. Let it be easy with no preconceptions. The best love relationships come from being friends first. Be there for her, ask her about her life up until now... let her speak. Then allow her to ask you. It's an exchange that you need to get out of the way so you both know where the other one stands. This is how you help each other and also find out if you are both at the right spot in life at the right time for each other. Mostly, be her friend and allow her to just be one back.

She sounds like a lovely woman. Treat her as such and you will be fine.   

[bill440cars]

        Hey Mickey, I appreciate your input here on this. Yeah, I know I have to take it slow and easy. She IS a Very Special Lady And we (my family, including Brenda) have known her for a bit, in the relationship with Bost (we all worked there). By knowing us before Brenda passed away, she has told me, everytime she say me at Bost (sometimes 2 or 3 times a week) that sh'ed been wondering how I was handling things and that I was in her Prayers. I now have her phone number and I called her last Monday afternoon and got her voicemail, so I left a message. I didn't hear anything and Wednesday I heard from a friend (Wednesday) that She was home and very sick. So Wednesday night I went to WalMart and, after a while, found a card that seemed to "jump out at me". My Daughter Karla works at Bost as well (but as a client) and she took the card to put it in Audry's Inbox. As it turns out, Audry
went to work Thursday (even though she didn't feel like it) and saw the card. She called me that evening and just went on and on about that card. She was telling me that it made her feel better, it just made her day and that it made her smile. Now, something I need to let you in on is, she lost a son about 10yrs ago and he was a fanatic about "Smiley Faces". The card I picked out, said something like "I heard you were down and I just though you needed a little Sunshine in your life". there was a drawing of a Sun on there and it was made like a "SMILEY FACE"! My tedious search for just the right card, paid off more than I couild have ever known. She went on to tell me some of the things that were going on in her life and why she didn't get right back to me, as she didn't want me to think she was avoiding me. Then , she Said that she woud like to have me over for Supper one night and decided on Saturday Night March 6 at about 6pm. So, as you can see, I've  got a start on this already. I am SO elated, I can not describe it. I'm hoping it will go further than friends, but am ready to accept ANY level that I can get. I promise that I will not push it, but, if she is moving on with it, I won't slow her down either. I've got so many questions for her, that I want to know. I want to know her likes, dislikes and such as that. I want to assure her that I will BE THERE for her in any way she needs me to be. I know that she has had (and still does have some) stress in her life and I want to relieve as much of that as I possibly can.

            Oh and I've been updating and touching base with Karla (my Daughter) on most everything, as I want to make sure that I don't do anything where Audry is concerned, that will upset Karla. Karla has no problem with me having a friend who is a girl, having a "Girl Friend OR even IF I was to get married again" Karla understands that I would never knowingly do anything to offend her, where her Mother is concerned.

          I want to thank you again on the input that you have posted here and KNOW that it is Really appreciated. Take care, Bill
     
   

[bill440cars]

      I'm not going into details, but it was a real eye opener! I still think Audry is a fine Lady, but there IS an area where WE are Definitely Different In Our ways of thinking!

      I've about had it with thinking that I'll have anything in the way of a Serious relationship with anyone! If there IS to be one, IT'LL have to come looking for ME! This is twice and I'm NOT looking for the 3rd one!

     I'll just stick to the my Family, Friends, Cars and Bikes! There IS another Lady who has asked me when I'm going to take HER for a ride in the GTX, but all I'm going to do is to keep it friendly. IF anything comes out of it, it'll be because SHE starts making the moves.

     It's just so Frustrating, I'm just beside myself. I can't seem to find the words, so I'll just go for now.   

[Spikeybike]

thats a bummer man .... but hey, ....thats life , right

[tramp]

keep swinging the bat
your bound to hit the ball eventually
take the babe out on the bike
more fun

[westondc]

hey bill, bummer to hear the date didn't go as anticipated. I've been on my share of dates and many of them didn't go as planned. Luckily i found a girl that's just perfect in so many ways. we were good acquaintances for about a year then she came to town for a few job interviews. as a friend, i offered her a place to stay while she was in town. One day we went to a movie for something to do and i realized how much we had in common and asked her how she felt about us calling the night a first date. that was over two months ago and now I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in. i guess what I'm trying to get at is; sometimes its not about looking for someone to love, if you are a friendly person and are good to others they seem to come to you. best of luck and remember theres alot of fish in the sea, oh and girls dig dudes on motorbikes

[bill440cars]

thats a bummer man .... but hey, ....thats life , right

        Yeah, I guess it is. It's just that I had NO idea what was in store for me that night. I want to talk about it, but I just can't! I am not sure how to treat this situation. All I can say is, I felt like I was in e "Reality Show!" I guess that's the best way to put it. It's HER lfe and HER decision, but DAMN! To say I've been thrown for a loop, would be putting it mildly! I'm not purposely trying to mess with you all minds by being so vague on this. I just need to talk, but I don't think I should include details and that makes it hard for you all to understand AND for me to get some kind of release. This is just so SCREWED UP!


         Let me just say that when you see someone you care about, making VERY QUESTIONABLE decisions, you'd like to (and feel like you should) try to help them. But, things can get really messy if you do and then you feel like you've done them an injustice by NOT trying to help out. At least that's the way I see it.

         I guess you'd say that she has ALOT of baggage, but most of it is by her own chosing (so it seems).

         It's just SO frustrating!   I just have to back off, that's all.  

[bill440cars]

keep swinging the bat
your bound to hit the ball eventually
take the babe out on the bike
more fun

       I appreciate that tramp, but she'd have to make some changes for this one to work out.

       Come to find out, she used to have a bike, but then other things happened that really took the wind out of my sails!

[bill440cars]

hey bill, bummer to hear the date didn't go as anticipated. I've been on my share of dates and many of them didn't go as planned. Luckily i found a girl that's just perfect in so many ways. we were good acquaintances for about a year then she came to town for a few job interviews. as a friend, i offered her a place to stay while she was in town. One day we went to a movie for something to do and i realized how much we had in common and asked her how she felt about us calling the night a first date. that was over two months ago and now I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in. i guess what I'm trying to get at is; sometimes its not about looking for someone to love, if you are a friendly person and are good to others they seem to come to you. best of luck and remember theres alot of fish in the sea, oh and girls dig dudes on motorbikes

   Yeah, I hear ya. Apparently, THIS one will stay on a friendly note, but there is another one who wants me to take her for a ride in the GTX. I've just got to keep myself from trying to have anything more than a friendship with her and TRY to just take it as it comes (IF it does).

       Good to know that YOU have a good thing going there though, that IS great. I'm proud for ANYONE who has a good relationship going.

[69modelj]

Bill, I aint quite your age, but this scenario is very familiar. When you mentioned you got your "eyes opened", I could totally relate.
I got rejected/divorced after 17 years of marriage. I thought it was gonna be the end of me. I'm sure you are seeing the roller coaster
effect of dating by now. I saw it too. Believe me, it's very common.
I have friends that have lost their sig. others as well for various reasons, and it happened to them too, just like your situation. Just friendly advice, DON'T GIVE UP. just step back a little and don't let things intimidate. Easy, right? Yeahhhhh right. ... seriously tho,
there are a lot of babes out there, just takes some time to find one.
You'll see a lot of stuff you never imagined went on, EVER. The word "baggage" is an understatement. Just do like you've done recently and be on gaurd/avoid it. And don't "settle" for someone just because they're available and no other reason. Don't ask me how I know this Be yourself, and never anything else

[8 Track]

Too bad Bill, I feel your pain and I'm glad you didn't get into something that eventually made you miserable.  I've found dating is like the movie Groundhog Day.  It's the same thing time after time, but you get better at asking and presenting.  I have no words to cheer you up.  Life sucks; get a helmet.

[bill440cars]

Bill, I aint quite your age, but this scenario is very familiar. When you mentioned you got your "eyes opened", I could totally relate.
I got rejected/divorced after 17 years of marriage. I thought it was gonna be the end of me. I'm sure you are seeing the roller coaster
effect of dating by now. I saw it too. Believe me, it's very common.
I have friends that have lost their sig. others as well for various reasons, and it happened to them too, just like your situation. Just friendly advice, DON'T GIVE UP. just step back a little and don't let things intimidate. Easy, right? Yeahhhhh right. ... seriously tho,
there are a lot of babes out there, just takes some time to find one.
You'll see a lot of stuff you never imagined went on, EVER. The word "baggage" is an understatement. Just do like you've done recently and be on gaurd/avoid it. And don't "settle" for someone just because they're available and no other reason. Don't ask me how I know this Be yourself, and never anything else

          Yeah, I'm learning all over again. They say you can't teach an old dog NEW tricks and I am Definitely an OLD dog. But, I AM learning, al be it slowly! Just hope I find someone to enjoy Life with, before Mine runs out!  

          Thing is, I feel like I could have helped to reduce the stress AND baggage in Her life (while WE would also be able to have some good times together).

         For now, I'm just going to keep my eyes open for Bert (Roberta), who wants me to take her for a ride in my GTX and cautiously, see where THAT goes (if anywhere).

         I understand how YOU know, it seems that there is a lot of that going around and I am getting to know the feeling.

         In the meantime, I just got back from doing some cruising in the GTX and I DO get some pleasure in getting it out and the reception the car gets, IS cool! 
                            Thanks for the input, Bill  
 

[bill440cars]

Too bad Bill, I feel your pain and I'm glad you didn't get into something that eventually made you miserable.  I've found dating is like the movie Groundhog Day.  It's the same thing time after time, but you get better at asking and presenting.  I have no words to cheer you up.  Life sucks; get a helmet.

   Yeah, I AM glad that I know now, at this stage. Yeah, Last night, I almost just put the title as "Life Sucks" and add, "Very MUCH"! and let it go at that. Been out a good part of the day, in the GTX with windows
down and cruising. That helped to clear my head somewhat. The reception the GTX gets, helps me get my mind off of the subject and thing about the Beautiful day and how great it feels just to get out and enjoy the Sunshine and 73 degrees! It's supposed to rain tomorrow though.

                   Take care and thanks for the input here, Bill

[kghost]

Hey Bill,

Sorry your having the ups and downs.

Just wanted to add a couple things.

Maybe pertinant maybe not....but hey...free advise is worth what you pay for it.

Dating can be a roller coaster...but only if you let it.

Know when to get off the ride and you'll avoid the loop the loops and the downhill slopes.

Remember:

You may go on a date and get an eye openning experience.

But hell....thats what dates are for after all.

Its hard to know if you like someone or even get to know them if you don't go out.

Remember what dating is for....getting to know someone and seeing if you wanna go further.

Sounds like it served its purpose in this case.

You got to know more then you were happy with.....and you don't wanna go further.

Keep on Dating.

[MickeyX]

No 1st date is wasted. There is always something to learn. So, from what you learned about her and yourself, how will you proceed into the next one?  Growth happens. Sometimes it doesn't feel good but it needs to happen or you will keep getting into the same thing over and over and not understand why.

goodluck.

[bill440cars]

Hey Bill,

Sorry your having the ups and downs.

Just wanted to add a couple things.

Maybe pertinant maybe not....but hey...free advise is worth what you pay for it.

Dating can be a roller coaster...but only if you let it.

Know when to get off the ride and you'll avoid the loop the loops and the downhill slopes.

Remember:

You may go on a date and get an eye openning experience.

But hell....thats what dates are for after all.

Its hard to know if you like someone or even get to know them if you don't go out.

Remember what dating is for....getting to know someone and seeing if you wanna go further.

Sounds like it served its purpose in this case.

You got to know more then you were happy with.....and you don't wanna go further.

Keep on Dating.

          Hey Tim, you are (or at least knowing you are here) a sight for sore eyes.

          Thing is, we knew Audry before now (or at least through our contact with Bost, we knew here). She sure has 2 sides and from the side that everyone else sees, you'd never know what she deals with. At least I DO have another possibility out there, before I just sit back and see what happens. The other one is wanting me to take her for a ride in the GTX and is also into motorcycles (and has one as well). It just seemed like Audry and I were meant to be, but I must have misread things. I AM a little rusty at "reading"! At any rate, I need to get Bert's (Roberta) phone number and see when she wants to go for that ride. She's pretty cool as well. She drives a Red Chevy Avalance with a chrome Brushguard and a plate on the bumper that says
                             "FourWheelin' Granny"

       BUT, she don't LOOK like no Granny that I'VE ever seen!

         My problem is, I don't do good, trying to check out more than ONE gal at a time! I have NEVER been able to comfortably do that. So, now that Audry seems to be out of the picture, I'll see how things go with Bert (cautiously!)

                Sent Ya a PM Tim,  Bill    

[Sam Green Racing]

Hey Cloggie, I think you got a bit to exited a bit to soon, perhaps you should have kept it to yourself untill after the event, your turn will come William.

Thread hyjack   Happy Christmas Timmy.

Sam.

[bill440cars]

No 1st date is wasted. There is always something to learn. So, from what you learned about her and yourself, how will you proceed into the next one?  Growth happens. Sometimes it doesn't feel good but it needs to happen or you will keep getting into the same thing over and over and not understand why.

goodluck.

           Thanks Mickey, sometimes it may not seem like it, BUT I DO appreciate all the input. I feel like I am getting "On The Job Training"!
I'd been advised to take it slow and easy and not expect too much too soon AND I did just the opposite! It's just been so long and like right now, the sun is shining, it's 71 degrees, we have the front door open and I just looked over towards the front door and I have an 8 x 10 picture of Brenda on the wall over there and it just doesn't seem right that I am here and she's NOT! She would have been SO excited if WE  would have had this car! I'd probably have to catch her napping, just to get to drive it myself!

Thank you Mickey, I'm still up and trying (staggered a bit, but still up)

[8 Track]

Bill, I saw a girl on myspace two and a half years ago that the pic alone blew me away.  I could see right into her eyes.  I really liked who I saw and got to know, but she decided to choose some other guy.  I told her goodbye.  She contacted me last October, out of the blue, after a year and a half.  This time around, I was a little tougher and simply put how I felt out on the table.  The first time I met her, it was so close to my divorce and I was a wimp.  Well, I've come to the conclusion that she's going to be "just friends for now" forever and she's spread so thin across her friends, that it simply won't work for me.  I don't mean to compare stories, I'm sharing my need to pull the plug on something I really wanted to work.  She could be the one.  But I've got to fish or cut bait.

Funny thing is I'm 40 and still wanting a family.  There is no shortage of 46 year olds that are done with kids and really want me.  It sucks.

[bill440cars]

Hey Cloggie, I think you got a bit to exited a bit to soon, perhaps you should have kept it to yourself untill after the event, your turn will come William.

Thread hyjack   Happy Christmas Timmy.

Sam.

           Yeah, you're right Sam. I just got carried away, cause it seems like it's been so long.

          

[bill440cars]

Bill, I saw a girl on myspace two and a half years ago that the pic alone blew me away.  I could see right into her eyes.  I really liked who I saw and got to know, but she decided to choose some other guy.  I told her goodbye.  She contacted me last October, out of the blue, after a year and a half.  This time around, I was a little tougher and simply put how I felt out on the table.  The first time I met her, it was so close to my divorce and I was a wimp.  Well, I've come to the conclusion that she's going to be "just friends for now" forever and she's spread so thin across her friends, that it simply won't work for me.  I don't mean to compare stories, I'm sharing my need to pull the plug on something I really wanted to work.  She could be the one.  But I've got to fish or cut bait.

Funny thing is I'm 40 and still wanting a family.  There is no shortage of 46 year olds that are done with kids and really want me.  It sucks.

         Hey twostroke, don't apologize, I appreciate ALL input her and understand what you mean. I wish the best for YOU as well

[8 Track]

If you're like me, you've got some cool stuff, you're stable, talented, your head is screwed on straight, most everything is paid for and that makes you a catch.


You're a mopar man, but most people can overlook that.   

[bucky katt]

thats too bad that the date didnt go as planned but. like lots of other folks have said theres always more women out there. just like i used to say, when the horse throws you get back on and try again. by the way Bill, hows your dad doing these days?

[bill440cars]

If you're like me, you've got some cool stuff, you're stable, talented, your head is screwed on straight, most everything is paid for and that makes you a catch.


You're a mopar man, but most people can overlook that.   

  Well, I still have some bills, but got a few things like the '69 GTX, '85 Shelby Charger, an '80 CBX, an '83 GPZ1100 for starters.

   Talented? Head on straight?   Mopar Man! they WILL have to overlook that! Cause I'd rather Fight than Switch!          

[bill440cars]

thats too bad that the date didnt go as planned but. like lots of other folks have said theres always more women out there. just like i used to say, when the horse throws you get back on and try again. by the way Bill, hows your dad doing these days?

  Thanks Jeff, How are YOU doing? Well, I hope. Got another possibility out there, that I already know somewhat. Then, there's no telling what.

   Dad's doing pretty well. He still thinks that he can just go back home and fend for himself and he just can't handle things like he used to. Thanks for asking.