No way man, I wouldn't do that to you. Do you still have a riding mower fetish?
Ha ha, yeah mate, I upgraded from my unreliable old belt drive Cox to a newer Bolens "golf cart" type, with 12 HP motor and a 5 speed gear box, it's even got chain drive, what a beast!
Sadly, it's been a pretty dry summer and for some reason we don't actually have any grass left, so the wife has banned me from using it every day as the neighbors have all complained about me creating a dust storm that blows across their properties and settles on their clothes lines etc? Like, it's dusty anyway, so how can that be my fault?
One neighbor got really p1ssed with me, I tried to do her a favor and mowed her lawn while she was at work, and accidentally ran over her garden hose, and the end came off and smashed her lounge room window? I offered to work off the debt by mowing her lawn every other day for a year, but she called me a psycho and slammed her front door in my face? How rude! I've offered to mow all my neighbors lawns, but whenever I do they gather their kids and take them inside, and ask me to go away?
I guess that angry woman next door turned them all against me? Another neighbor yelled at me for looking over her fence, I explained that I was just checking her back lawn to see if it needed cutting, but she told me to fcuk off, and threatened to call the cops? Sheesh, some people, I was only trying to help?
I'm pretty excited tonight though, it's raining! Woohoo! I'll have to ask the wife for the Bolens keys and my mowing hat back, in anticipation!