horrifying, almost debilitating screaming cold sweaty nightmares. i've been having some truly horrific nightmares the past week or so, either something with Hamish or re-living over and over and over and over again, seeing my then fiancee stomped to death by an elephant. i actually pissed all over the bed and myself a few nights ago. fortunately it was a 30 year old twin mattress. my wife hasnt been able to sleep in the same bed with me for nearly 3 years now because of the nightmares, though in the past week they have gotten aa whole hell of alot worse. i gave my wife my pistol and swords and battleaxe and asked her to bring the stuff to a friend or neighbors house, the idea being i cant get a hold of them in my sleep. i woke up monday night from a nightmare holding a loaded .45 pistol. even in the grips of such a nightmare i still had the safety on and my finger outside the trigger guard, but that was just way too close for comfort. an SCA friend suggested a very strong catnip/spearmint tea that i brew up fresh and it worked better than any chemical i've tried. i actually slept away a good part of the day without even a dream. between the bad news about Hamish and then my following the story of the trainer at sea world being killed by an animal she'd worked with for years (exactly how my first fiancee was killed, she was an elephant keeper at lowry park zoo in tampa and i saw the whole horrifying event happen)
•July 1993: An Asian elephant named Tillie attacks and kills Charlotte Torre, one of its handlers. The zoo gets rid of Tillie and its other elephant.
theres a memorial at the zoo in her memory i'm told, i havent been able to bring myself to go back to the zoo, i havent set foot on the property there since the day she was killed, i was a docent/volunteer at the zoo, thats where charlotte and i met. anyways thats the whole ugly story. i'm going to try and get some more sleep now, until this afternoon, i'd slept 3 hours since monday at 9AM
catnip tea, whod have thought it. i have several patches of the stuff in my flower beds, right along with the mint.