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Author Topic: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!  (Read 3283 times)

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Offline JP

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Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« on: May 12, 2010, 02:25:11 AM »
That's right- after several, several women have stepped up to take a shot at the title- all have fallen VERY short of victory and thus leaving the hateful (but great in bed) ex-wife lingering in my head as the best lover I will ever have. Until....an unexpected challenger steps forth from the mist to lay claim to the championship belt! It was a magnificent battle that wreaked havoc throughout the house and left both participants breathless. But that was not enough, she needed to be certain of a thorough victory, so she continued to battle again. Ahh yes, it is good to finally refer to someone else as "the best I've ever had".  And she's got a good job too ;)
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Offline Joe Mig

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2010, 02:28:10 AM »
May you come out of it looking like a glazed donut ! :o
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Offline JP

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2010, 02:44:07 AM »
Sorry, she gets all the glaze!
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Offline Hush

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2010, 02:56:45 AM »
Funny thing about ex's eh, maybe it's cos we made a real commitment to something and it worked out...for a while. ;D
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I think the thing I most like about motorcycling is the speed at which my brain must process information at to avoid the numb skulls who are eating pies, playing the ukulele, applying make-up etc in the comfort of their airconditioned armchairs as they make random attempts to kill me!!!!!!!

Offline jaknight

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2010, 07:40:33 AM »
Gotta Admit....

.... it's great to have a really good mechanic when you get your
piston properly rotated and valves cleaned....

    ~ ~ ~ jaknight ~ ~ ~
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Offline sangyo soichiro

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2010, 07:45:14 AM »
Quote from: JP on May 12, 2010, 02:25:11 AM
That's right- after several, several women have stepped up to take a shot at the title- all have fallen VERY short of victory and thus leaving the hateful (but great in bed) ex-wife lingering in my head as the best lover I will ever have. Until....an unexpected challenger steps forth from the mist to lay claim to the championship belt! It was a magnificent battle that wreaked havoc throughout the house and left both participants breathless. But that was not enough, "she" needed to be certain of a thorough victory, so she continued to battle again. Ahh yes, it is good to finally refer to someone else as "the best I've ever had".  And she's got a good job too ;)

I hope you're not referring to a newly discovered masturbation technique....
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Offline Duke McDukiedook

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2010, 07:50:17 AM »
I didn't know sex was a contest.

Maybe that's where you went wrong in the first place.
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Offline andy750

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2010, 08:10:18 AM »
Quote from: soichiro on May 12, 2010, 07:45:14 AM
Quote from: JP on May 12, 2010, 02:25:11 AM
Until....an unexpected challenger steps forth from the mist to lay claim to the championship belt! It was a magnificent battle that wreaked havoc throughout the house and left both participants breathless. But that was not enough, "she" needed to be certain of a thorough victory, so she continued to battle again.

I hope you're not referring to a newly discovered masturbation technique....

Read again...he mentions "she" so he must have had to blow her up first  ;) ;D ;D
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Offline Don R

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2010, 08:26:11 AM »
LMFAO, Congrats. Glazed, that ship ain't right.
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Offline JP

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2010, 11:00:48 AM »
Yep, I definitely see it as somewhat of a contest.  You are right that it may be where I have been going wrong, but I just can't see staying with someone if I feel like she's second best.  Also, I am well aware that what has flipped my lid may very well have the opposite effect on others.  So, it's the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" type thing.  She does it for me and I'm enjoying the hell out of it.

Also, Hush-

Not sure if this is what you were hinting at, but..... The commitment thing- I definitely feel like sex is ALWAYS better in a relationship.  After my divorce I had to start all over and I learned quickly that one night stands SUCK!  So, this girl did not get to own her new title immediately.  It was definitely earned. 

Jaknight- What can I say?  Classic. :D
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Offline weekend_junkie

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2010, 01:19:32 PM »
It didn't happen if you can't prove it.  Does this website have one of those "this thread is worthless without pics" emoticons?
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Offline Duke McDukiedook

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #11 on: May 12, 2010, 01:45:20 PM »
Yep, totally worthless without Pam Anderson-type home video and stank finger to prove it.
.
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Offline Hush

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #12 on: May 12, 2010, 02:52:05 PM »
Ah the old "One night stands" had quite a few of those when i found myself single again at 43. ;D
Fun but tiring, 3 of them became weekenders until 2 nearly bumped into each other.
My kids (mid 20's) gave me a new nick name after that...by the way, what exactly is a "Man whore"? :D
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I think the thing I most like about motorcycling is the speed at which my brain must process information at to avoid the numb skulls who are eating pies, playing the ukulele, applying make-up etc in the comfort of their airconditioned armchairs as they make random attempts to kill me!!!!!!!

Offline tramp

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2010, 04:09:24 PM »
never thought of getting the competition thing going
but as you get older that could lead to a heart attack
but then again?
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Offline Hush

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2010, 06:00:35 PM »
Prozac keeps you sane....Viagra keeps you hard, don't mix them up! ;D
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I think the thing I most like about motorcycling is the speed at which my brain must process information at to avoid the numb skulls who are eating pies, playing the ukulele, applying make-up etc in the comfort of their airconditioned armchairs as they make random attempts to kill me!!!!!!!

Offline Retro Rocket

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2010, 06:21:53 PM »
Quote from: Hush on May 12, 2010, 06:00:35 PM
Prozac keeps you sane....Viagra keeps you hard, don't mix them up! ;D

And i thought Viagra was for stopping old people from rolling out of bed..... ;D

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Offline Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2010, 08:53:52 PM »
Quote from: Hush on May 12, 2010, 06:00:35 PM
Prozac keeps you sane....Viagra keeps you hard, don't mix them up! ;D

Prozac keep THEM sane. Pot keeps us sane.
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Offline Frankenkit

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2010, 09:56:16 PM »
Hey, Jerry, are you writing prescriptions?  I'll take mine P.O, Q.D. :D :D :D
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Offline Spanner 1

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2010, 09:59:58 PM »
Viagra = side stand!, Prozac = mainstand.
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Offline Hush

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #19 on: May 13, 2010, 02:36:04 AM »
One prescrption of the new wonder drug Trycoxagain coming your way Kit. ;D
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I think the thing I most like about motorcycling is the speed at which my brain must process information at to avoid the numb skulls who are eating pies, playing the ukulele, applying make-up etc in the comfort of their airconditioned armchairs as they make random attempts to kill me!!!!!!!

Offline Frankenkit

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #20 on: May 13, 2010, 08:58:45 AM »
Eh.  I'm surrounded with the #$%*.  ::)
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"Moderation in all things - especially moderation. Too much moderation is excessive. The occasional excess is all part of living the moderate life."
2012 CBR250R "Black Betty"
1980 CB650c- (sold) Delilah
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Quote from: The_Crippler on July 19, 2010, 07:58:02 PM
Sweet, bubbly, Buddha - Say it ain't so!!!
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Offline Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #21 on: May 13, 2010, 10:40:35 AM »
Quote from: Kit on May 12, 2010, 09:56:16 PM
Hey, Jerry, are you writing prescriptions?  I'll take mine P.O, Q.D. :D :D :D

You got it Kit, as long as I can be the middleman on a PRN basis.
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Offline Frankenkit

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #22 on: May 13, 2010, 03:09:30 PM »
... I thought these were prescriptions for Prozac and Pot?   but sure, you can come by nightly if you bring some of either by. :D
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"Moderation in all things - especially moderation. Too much moderation is excessive. The occasional excess is all part of living the moderate life."
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Quote from: The_Crippler on July 19, 2010, 07:58:02 PM
Sweet, bubbly, Buddha - Say it ain't so!!!
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Offline DaytonGuy

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #23 on: May 13, 2010, 04:28:37 PM »
dare I say it.....

Quote
I learned quickly that one night stands SUCK!

Something that, after a while, wives rarely do!!!      ;) ;) ;D ;D
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Offline donny

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #24 on: May 13, 2010, 07:03:47 PM »
skanks,   rock  ?
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Offline HavocTurbo

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Re: Happy to say, the ex-wife has finally been de-throned!
« Reply #25 on: May 15, 2010, 08:46:26 AM »
I'm glad you traveled all over the house.... but leave me out of your love life.  ;D

Last thing I need is someone wreaking me all over the room.
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