Without a doubt for me at least, was this gem by Gordon - the SOHC Dickshunary. This is the funniest thing I've ever read, it needs to be on poster or t-shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cafe
As in: I just picked up an old, neglected sohc4 for a steal, and I think I'm gonna "cafe" it.
Definition: I'm very susceptible to popular trends and I don't have the time/money/patience to do a proper rebuild, so I'm gonna throw on a solo seat, some clubmans, and I'm gonna junk that ugly air box and put on some cheap pods because that air box is a pain in the ass when I have to keep pulling the carbs to figure out why my bike isn't running well instead of just doing a thorough clean and rebuild of them the first time, and then I'll get pissed at it because it runs even worse and I can never get those stupid carbs tuned right, and then I'll bolt on a ratty old 4-1 exhaust and ditch that useless, heavy center stand, and then I'll half-ass an attempt at converting to dual front discs but end up with two discs and only one working caliper instead, and then I'm gonna get rid of those ugly clocks because the needles just bounce around uselessy and put on a digital bicycle speedometer, and I'm gonna put on a super bright headlight and a Dyna-S because fukin' points are crappy, old technology and I don't want to learn how to adjust and set points anyway, and then I'm gonna curse this bike's old, anemic charging system because it can't keep the tiny battery I've installed in the seat hump charged, so then I'll change all the other bulbs to LED, and then I'll put on the fattest, cheapest tires I can find 'cuz I can't stand the look of those stock pizza-cutters and then #$%* about my bike not handling well but I don't care because it looks tits, and then I'll try to fix that with some cartridge emulators I heard about that will make your bike handle like a modern crotch rocket and put on these cheap, Chinese piggyback shocks I found on ebay because they make the bike look mean and fast but they're too long so I'll put on these lowering blocks while I'm at it but the shocks hit the chain guard making it rub the chain so I'll throw away that useless thing, and hey how do I hang this exhaust, I guess I'll just use some of this pipe strap, and how much exhaust wrap do I need, and I think the engine is overheating so I'll put on this oil cooler, and the valve cover keeps leaking so I'll just use this gasket sealer instead of shelling out for new gaskets, and why did my engine make a loud screeching sound followed by a louder PING and then die?
SCREW IT! I'm sick of trying to get this POS running well! I'll call it a cafe and try to sell it on ebay for $5,000 because I see that guy Carpy selling them for that much all the time, and hey, these things are rare, sought-after, vintage bikes, right?
