Aliens On Earth
Two aliens have landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approach one of the gas pumps, and one of them says to it, "Greetings, earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump, of course, does not respond.
The alien repeats the greeting. Again, there is no response.
The alien, annoyed by what he perceives to be the gas pump's haughty attitude, draws his ray gun, and screams,
"Earthling, how dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The other alien grabs his comrade shouting, "No, you mustn't anger him!" but before he has finished his warning, the first alien fires.
There is a huge explosion that blows both of them 600 yards into the desert, where they land in a heap.
When they finally regain consciousness, the one who fired turns to his friend and says,
"What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us! But how did you know he was so dangerous?"
"If there's one thing I've learned during all my travels through the galaxy," the other alien answers, "it's that if a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick into his own ear, don't f*ck with him!"
