I got this in an email today and thought i would pass it on...
Hi Sue,
Just another
note from your bottom-dwelling brother..
Last week I had a bad day at the
office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of
the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a
wet suit.
This time of year the water
is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out
of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which
is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom
and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet
suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This
only made things worse. Within a few seconds
my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked
up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair
on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my arse
was not as fortunate..
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my arse.
I informed the
dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were
unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to
make three agonising in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When
I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I
climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his
face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't #$%* for two
days because my arse was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad
day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
shoved up your arse.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I
love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish
bad day?
Mick
