On the subject of wives . . .
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry
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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous
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The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
.......................Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud
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'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous
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'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison
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'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once....
Nash
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous