A little trick I did that seemed to give a nice lap with reasonable effort was to use a conical spring (not much, a few Newtons should do it) and the T-handle from my tap set. Insert the valve into the guide, a little lap compound on the face. Spring over the stem, a little electrical tape on the stem where the T-handle clamps on. The spring presses the valve to the seat. finger-spin it clockwise for a bit, then counter-clockwise for a bit. Fresh compound and repeat.
Gave me a nice even, dull gray band on the valve and seat in no time!
FYI, it is VERY important that the valves are lapped into the seat from which they came. Don't mix valves between cylinders!!