Author Topic: THINGS I never KNEW (or could Imagine) about Women !! (Read 1858 times)

754 · « **on:** January 29, 2011, 08:25:07 PM »

This is just todays;

A jar of baby pickles sits OUTSIDE the pantry, the last 10 DAYS, ..in PLAIN view..
So I open them, and eat some..

APPARENTLY, I must be pretty DUMB..
because I did not realize.. that these are for HER Birthday in March..

..how could I ever have been so stupid...

Roach · « **Reply #1 on:** January 29, 2011, 08:58:26 PM »

hahah i would have taken some aswell. there was an ice cream cake in my freezer for 2 months figured i would take a slice it was for my birthday 3 months later pff sorry

754 · « **Reply #2 on:** January 29, 2011, 09:14:16 PM »

Hmmmm.. must be the water up here in BC..

Retro Rocket · « **Reply #3 on:** January 30, 2011, 12:14:36 AM »

Not to mention the mind reading, well i suppose yours were both mind reading related....

From a mate of mine...

Quote

Why are women like clouds?

Eventually they f@ck off and its a really nice day.

j/k

Mick

Duke McDukiedook · « **Reply #4 on:** January 30, 2011, 01:19:07 AM »

You can't live with them and you can't hunt them for sport...

brandEn · « **Reply #5 on:** January 30, 2011, 01:21:20 AM »

My Dad always told me to never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die

Retro Rocket · « **Reply #6 on:** January 30, 2011, 01:42:36 AM »

And if they didn't have a pussy they would be stacked 10 high at the dump....

Mick

Gordon · « **Reply #7 on:** January 30, 2011, 08:05:19 AM »

Quote from: 754 on January 29, 2011, 08:25:07 PM

This is just todays;

A jar of baby pickles sits OUTSIDE the pantry, the last 10 DAYS, ..in PLAIN view..
So I open them, and eat some..

APPARENTLY, I must be pretty DUMB..
because I did not realize.. that these are for HER Birthday in March..

..how could I ever have been so stupid...

My wife tried that on me a few times. I told her that any food in the house that was not specifically labeled as being off-limits was fair game.

The thing she does that gets me is "planning". Example: I ask her to please clear off the kitchen counter of her random mail, papers, books, etc, to which she agrees. A few days later it's all still there, so I ask her why she hasn't done it yet. "I'm planning on doing it" is her response. Apparently the planning phase for a two minute task is at least three days.

This scenario has been repeated hundreds of times in the 11 years we've been together.

xfactor · « **Reply #8 on:** January 30, 2011, 10:07:16 AM »

There was a new bundle of towels in the laundry room, I figured waiting to be washed.

"I was planning on returning those! Why did you wash them?!"

Industrial Rat400f Killer · « **Reply #9 on:** January 30, 2011, 10:24:00 AM »

Mine sits next to me on the couch for and hour or two not saying a word while we watch tv and then she leaves the room to do something and starts trying to hold a conversation with me from the next room. I have asked her several times why she thinks someone that has been a carpenter for 20 years would have dog-like hearing but she has no response.

Ladies are like vintage bikes, I like to ride them but I hate how much work you have to put into them to get them to let you take the ride.

Just kidding, I like to work on my bike, it get's me out of working for the wife.

Gordon · « **Reply #10 on:** January 30, 2011, 10:29:19 AM »

Luckily my wife is fairly maintenance-free. She does have one major fault, though....

For such an intelligent woman she inexplicably chose to spend the rest of her life with me!

vanillagorilla · « **Reply #11 on:** January 30, 2011, 10:36:54 AM »

Quote from: Gordon on January 30, 2011, 10:29:19 AM

Luckily my wife is fairly maintenance-free. She does have one major fault, though....

For such an intelligent woman she inexplicably chose to spend the rest of her life with me!

+1000!!! I don't know how mine does it! And I actually tricked her into marrying me

... March 19th!

74cb750 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 30, 2011, 12:34:02 PM »

Most women think you can read their minds......
I tell them I don't do that anymore because I come up empty 99/100 times.

Duanob · « **Reply #13 on:** February 16, 2011, 11:30:01 AM »

Sounds like you guys are married to the kind of women that finish their Christmas shopping......in July!

Markcb750 · « **Reply #14 on:** February 16, 2011, 11:33:49 AM »

What kind of Pickles?

flybox1 · « **Reply #15 on:** February 16, 2011, 11:53:41 AM »

Quote from: 754 on January 29, 2011, 08:25:07 PM

This is just todays;

A jar of baby pickles sits OUTSIDE the pantry, the last 10 DAYS, ..in PLAIN view..
So I open them, and eat some..

APPARENTLY, I must be pretty DUMB..
because I did not realize.. that these are for HER Birthday in March..

..how could I ever have been so stupid...

754 - You should have know better!!!!

your wife-mind reading skillz have gone soft

pickles?!?!?

FOR A BIRTHDAY ?!?!?

WTF, thats a pretty strange birthday treat.

(btw, if they were dills, I woulda had the whole jar as a side with a HUGE club sandwich. no evidence left behind.)

Really? · « **Reply #16 on:** February 16, 2011, 12:06:40 PM »

Quote from: Gordon on January 30, 2011, 08:05:19 AM

Quote from: 754 on January 29, 2011, 08:25:07 PM
This is just todays;

A jar of baby pickles sits OUTSIDE the pantry, the last 10 DAYS, ..in PLAIN view..
So I open them, and eat some..

APPARENTLY, I must be pretty DUMB..
because I did not realize.. that these are for HER Birthday in March..

..how could I ever have been so stupid...

My wife tried that on me a few times. I told her that any food in the house that was not specifically labeled as being off-limits was fair game.

The thing she does that gets me is "planning". Example: I ask her to please clear off the kitchen counter of her random mail, papers, books, etc, to which she agrees. A few days later it's all still there, so I ask her why she hasn't done it yet. "I'm planning on doing it" is her response. Apparently the planning phase for a two minute task is at least three days.

This scenario has been repeated hundreds of times in the 11 years we've been together.

I think we are married to the same woman!

Really? · « **Reply #17 on:** February 16, 2011, 12:07:46 PM »

Quote from: Gordon on January 30, 2011, 10:29:19 AM

Luckily my wife is fairly maintenance-free. She does have one major fault, though....

For such an intelligent woman she inexplicably chose to spend the rest of her life with me!

Yup, she is the same woman!

bikerbart · « **Reply #18 on:** February 16, 2011, 12:13:49 PM »

for about a month now,everytime I help get something out of the back of the wife's car I see a couple of boxes of chocolate truffles,I took a box(left 3)right away I get"did you take a box of truffles from my car""those are for a work party in a few weeks".I said well now you have a couple of weeks to replace them

.she wasnt amused.

Duanob · « **Reply #19 on:** February 16, 2011, 03:42:22 PM »

Quote from: bikerbart on February 16, 2011, 12:13:49 PM

for about a month now,everytime I help get something out of the back of the wife's car I see a couple of boxes of chocolate truffles,I took a box(left 3)right away I get"did you take a box of truffles from my car""those are for a work party in a few weeks".I said well now you have a couple of weeks to replace them .she wasnt amused.

trader Joe's truffles? Hell i'm not even a chocolate freak but I would steal a box of those from my wife.

Don R · « **Reply #20 on:** February 16, 2011, 11:33:10 PM »

You Fools! Shhh... They might hear us..... I've been pretty lucky but sometimes I'm incredibly stupid too.

Jerry Rxman Griffin aka MuthaF'er · « **Reply #21 on:** February 17, 2011, 07:51:55 AM »

It's all trickery for attempted mind control but for some of us it quits working after 19 years.

Pickles, huh?! was that a hint perhaps?! Something she's not telling you?!

wardenerd · « **Reply #22 on:** February 17, 2011, 08:00:26 AM »

my wife thinks mf'er is a term of endearment and when something happens she always says we talked about it. Which means while I was fighting a fire in the basement she mentioned she was buying a car for our daughter. But I love her dearly.

Gordon · « **Reply #23 on:** February 17, 2011, 09:42:19 AM »

Quote from: TipperT on February 16, 2011, 12:07:46 PM

Quote from: Gordon on January 30, 2011, 10:29:19 AM
Luckily my wife is fairly maintenance-free. She does have one major fault, though....

For such an intelligent woman she inexplicably chose to spend the rest of her life with me!

Yup, she is the same woman!

I think I need to have a talk with my our wife!

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Author Topic: THINGS I never KNEW (or could Imagine) about Women !! (Read 1858 times)

Markcb750